“…finally came out of my trailer and saw the light of day for the first time in 18 months and asked my Uncle (your dad)?”
“If I were a rich man…”
“…I’d be my cousin Richard, and be typing upside-down with an Australian accent.”
“Too many cooks spoil…”
“… mid day telivision”
“Just take all your clothes off and …”
“…saunter. That’s right, I said, ‘saunter’. I want to see some serious sauntering.”
“And remember, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, push that…”
“… pause/break key on your keyboard”
“Of course if you were an elf you could …”
“…look up women’s dresses and no one would know…”
Hey! Stop playing with that! You’re going to put…"
“…the professionals to shame!”
“Ain’t no mountain high, ain’t no valley low…”
“… is how I failed my geography exam”
"The only good use for spam is … "
“…because I’m travelling through the Netherlands”
“My mother always told me I’d go blind if I…”
“…plucked my eyes out with her good tongs.”
“To be or not to be, that is…”
“… jab myself with a fork”
“My best friend is a …”
blow up doll stored under the bed."
"Don’t make me pull this car over or…
“…we’ll go right over the edge of this bridge.”
“This town ain’t big enough for…”
“… me and my monkey ?”
“I used to go out with a girl who looked like …”
“…she’d been whacked in the face with a George Foreman grill.”
“How many roads must a man walk down…”
“before he sideswipes the chicken?”
“If it weren’t for my horse…”
“… I’d never get laid”
“The best thing since sliced bread is …”
“…dehydrated water.”
“If you can’t beat 'em…”
“… the eggs are hard boiled”
“If I said you had a beutiful body, would you …”
“think I’m gay?”
“I’ve had it up to here with your…”