“…licking his fingers after looking at Jodi Foster.”
“Whenever I see the first sprouts of irises in the flowerbed, their rich buds ready to burst into bloom, I’m reminded of Rosemary from Junior High, and how she would always…”
“… blow her nose on the hem of Jenny Lee’s skirt.”
“Sometimes I wonder if it is really all worth it, but then I think of …”
“That magic night in 'Frisco… when I hooked up with Bippy and Picachu… and a half-dozen hookers… with a weedeater, a live chicken, and some peach preserves”
“I simply LOVE the way the moonlight shines on your…”
“…buttocks, your bum positively glows!”
“You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to…”
"…an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you while the rest of us snicker and point behind your back. If you do not know what an attorney is or what you can do with one, reference material will be provided. Attorneys may require recharging. Attorneys may cause side effects in sensitive individuals; these side effects include headache, nausea, dizziness, stomach cramps, dyslexia, sniffles, hot-dog finger, wiggly polyps, halitosis, disorientation, crepuscular emission, anal leakage, dyspepsia and/or Bernholdt’s condition. Your mileage may vary.
<to finish>
Some states do not allow exclusion of the foregiong exclusions. Attorneys are live-captured and/or free-range. Breeding facilities certified by La Régie des loteries et pouvoirs surhumains du Québec. Remember: for best results, do not taunt your attorney."
“And behind door number three we have…”
“Mr. Greenjeans… and I bet you can’t guess what HE’S doin’!”
“A high-fiber diet…”
“…may induce sleepiness, mania, cramping and deluded thoughts of grandeur.”
“Behind every great man is a…”
“…a long shadow.”
“Microwaves are…”
.....the greatest ting, the oldest yet the latest ting, la la la la la lala ting, baked potatoes to me"
" You a college boy or sumthin? Bet you think yer pretty smart, think you can out-smart a bullet?.."
smart ass College Boy “Well I can outsmart a dum-dum.”
thug <BANG><BANG><BANG>
smart ass College Boy “Think that’s clever huh!”
thug <BANG><BANG><BANG><click> draws long knife
smart ass College Boy “The pen is mightier than the sword” pulls biro out of shirt pocket
thug <slash><chop><mutillate>
“The moral of this story is, when fighting ignorance allways …”
“Fight dirty”
“I promise you, it won’t be long. I’t won’t be long until…”
“…I smack it against the wall a few more times.”
“I’ve always found my car keys in the same place, because…”
.....I break my promise, or maybe I wont, the kicker is you wont know till I aready have"
“like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown…”**
ooops, I got it, I got it
…my car key is my cock, that was a long day at shoe shine/key cutting place I can tell you"
“like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown…”**
Ouch.
“…I awaited my turn at the audit desk.”
“In the white room, with black curtains…”
“… and padded walls, I awaited in my straight jacket. Who in the early 21st century knew that listening to Raidiohead would result in the terrible desire of all their fans to convert parts of their bodies into keys. Who would have believed such insanity. Well they believe now, bwahahahah.”
"A pig in a cage on …
“pay per view wasn’t nearly as entertaining as I thought it would be, but then again, all I had to go on was the PPV guide promising a fun time to be had by all during the 2003 WWF Makin’ Bacon event.”
“There’s a fine line between idolatry and adulation; that line gets crossed when…”
“e[sup]i(pi)[/sup]=-1.”
“Madeleine! What’re you doing here? I thought you were in Paris…”
buying me that expensive silky dildo i saw in a magazine!"
“In my humble opinion, Hitler, you…”