… can be awfully amusing.
Overheard just moments ago at my office was a woman saying, “Don’t you dare tug on my shrimp!”
Yesterday on the bus, in an indignant voice:
“Well, do YOU think Frank Sinatra is in heaven?!”
Said by a girl I knew in elementary school: “Dougie broke my G-string.”
“His anal glands are going to pop all over your face!”
Overheard this morning while I was getting ready for work. Apparently one cat was licking the other’s butt.
Just this morning, I managed to wake myself up from a sound sleep with a horrendous cramp in my calf. As I limped around the bedroom later, my wife, being sweet and sincere and incredibly sympathetic, says to me, “Is there anywhere you’d like me to rub?”
:eek: 
My wife, on the phone in her office, said: “Sure, I love dick.”
Of course, “dick” actually was “Dick,” referring to a friend whose last name is “Dickerson” when asked if he could be in our wedding. Her co-workers got a kick out of it.
Brendon Small
To steal one from Bob Newhart:
When passing two homeless guys panhandling on the sidewalk, one said incredulously “When the hell were YOU the goalie for the Montreal Canadiens?”
Heard wafting from the mechanics shed from a former job: “And by the time you’re done with that, your arm is sore and your ass is sore”.