Racism fought and then unfought

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Today at lunch I experienced something pretty unusual to say the least.

I had lunch with a couple in their mid 40s, and a colleague and his 12 year old daughter (teacher union meeting day, no school). We had lunch in a local chain restaurant. As some of you know, I live in West Virginia, so there aren’t too many minorities here. As we were almost done a group of black youths come in with baggy pants, and admittedly, they were loud and obnoxious.

Well, the couple started making some racial comments. The substance isn’t important, and I am usually tolerant of those things, but I saw the 12 year old girl there. Her father was also upset with the comments. We lobbed a few jabs back across the table about how there were a lot of obnoxious white kids with baggy pants, but pretty much left it cordial and walked out.

The couple were parked on the other side of the lot, so I walked with father and daughter. In a poignant moment, father stopped his daughter and said the following (paraphrasing, but it was a damn good speech):

"I want you to know that what they said about black people in there wasn’t right. You know about slavery and about how blacks used to not be able to eat in the same restaurants as us. Well, what happened in there is the last thing we need to stop. WE don’t judge people based upon the color of their skin. I don’t want you doing it. What (couple) said is wrong and it is not what most people believe any more.

Your generation will put a stop to this. When I grew up, it was okay to say stuff like that and to think stuff like that. Don’t let yourself think that. Don’t hate people and say bad stuff about people because of what they look like. We are better than that. YOU are better than that."

The sparkle in the girl’s eyes was wonderful. Hell, I had a sparkle in my eye and wished that I could give as good of a talk to my daughter as he did.

Then, the little girl said (and there was more conversation than this, but it culminated in a story about how one of her friends’ father was upset that she wanted to go out with a black boy) so it’s okay if I am good friends with (same boy).

The look on the formerly racially sensitive father’s face was priceless. It was one of horror as if he wasn’t ready to take that step. “You can be FRIENDS,” he said with emphasis on that last word, then we left.

I had to chuckle in the car. Two more generations, I think. Then we’ll be there.

2

Well it could also be about the girl being 12, i think i’d give the guy the benefit of the doubt after that speech. That might have been the first time the poor guy even heard something like that coming from her.

3

Wow. This is one of those things I’ve literally never encountered firsthand. The idea that any white person I know would object to his daughter dating a black dude is appalling–but it seems like that this kind of thing exists among my community, I just don’t have the opportunity to see it. Disgusting.

4

Even if DigitalC’s conjecture is correct, and he was objecting to his daughter dating a black (or any other color) dude at age 12?

5

That’s not objecting to his daughter dating a black dude, that’s objecting to his daughter dating. Different.

6

I think you may have misinterpreted his response. I wasn’t allowed to date *anybody *at 12, whether the guy was white or brown or black.

Of course it’s *possible *that this guy doesn’t want biracial grandkids. I just don’t know why you’d assume that racism is the basis of his objection when there’s a more obvious, reasonable explanation.

7

It’s not unusual at all. I remember taking a college English course back around 1989 & the female professor decided to give us a lecture on how we should respect gay people.

(What this had to do with a college English class, I don’t know. I guess she figured that since we were all yokels at a small Georgia college we needed to be edjamacated.)

She went on & on about all the gay men she counted as friends & how it was perfectly acceptable.
Many of the females in the class were nodding their heads in agreement.

After a while, I raised my hand & asked how many lesbian friends she had.

I cannot describe the look of utter horror that that not only crossed her face, but the faces of her female fans. You see, that’s different.

Just one of many reasons that I tend to :rolleyes: at self proclaimed liberals.

8

Um, what? Not only was that an extremely odd anecdote, but you’ve just take a tiny little one-hair brush and used it to paint a hugely wide swath of people.

9

Yeah, this is how I’d interpret it as well.

10

After the speech, I wouldn’t attribute his shock to racism, but to the prospect of his daughter dating anyone at all. I know kids grow up fast these days, but I wouldn’t want my twelve year old dating anyone.

11

No, she didn’t saying anything shocking about dating anyone; just about being “good friends.” The look on his face said it all: he was confronted with the conflict between what he just said and imaging his daughter dating a black man. He didn’t like the latter even though he utterly and sincerely meant the former.

I think it is a residuary effect of racism that hopefully my grandchildren won’t give a second thought about.

12

I don’t believe that story for a second. If I had a dollar for every time a non-liberal made up a bogus story about liberals to make some inexplicable point . . .

13

It’s a residual effect that’s probably gonna be around for a while. A lot of black parents would prefer to see their kids date their own too. It ultimately doesn’t matter. The kid’s gonna go where their heart follows and in MOST cases, the parents will follow too. I only know of one real-life case where the parents actually cut the child off because of who they were dating.

14

Agreed. In every situation I know where the parents hated their child dating a black person or telling them that he or she was gay, at most the parents bitched and moaned and drank, but ultimately they supported their children and accepted whatever choices they made.

15

I’m also not sure the point of the story, even if it’s true.

So, she had more friends who were gay men than lesbians.

What does that prove?

16

Same here.