Rage against an asshole.

The BBQ Pit
1

I haven’t got the energy for a good rant, but I need to get this out of my system, so I can try and go back to my normal happy state.

Grrrrrrr ! Assholes ! I’m surrounded by them. A sea of loud, ignorant, assholes every last one of them who just completed “I’m always right, even when I know nothing of the subject matter 101” in their “Applications of Assholes” degree at the world-famous Asshat College.

Have you ever tried to engage brain before opening mouth ?

Have you heard of that lovely word tolerance ?

Picture yourself walking into a room full of, oh I don’t know, say, lawnmowing enthusiasts, and one of them yells out that anybody who likes the colour purple is a moron, and completely incapable of living a fulfilling happy life, not to mention should never have been born in the first place. Now do you assume that nobody has yet responded because a) they all agree or b) they are involved in their own conversations, or perhaps the majority of the lawnmowers are sick of this particular guy who keeps turning up at their meeting ? I’ll give you a hint : You’re an asshole. Oh, the answers obvious then : a) All lawnmowing devotees are purple-haters. They all agree 100% with whatever any other lawnmowing enthusiast says on any topic. You idiot !

My god ! I know it takes all kinds, but for crying out loud ! Why the heck does it take so many of this particular kind ?!? We don’t need any more assholes, somebody stuffed up the quotas, and we have to figure out what to do with the excess. I wish I could line them all up and slap each and every one across the face with a two-day old fish !

Why aren’t there more reasonable people out there ? I know most of them are in here, but I can’t find any of you once I leave this place ! Where are you all hiding ?

Stop the planet, I need to get off, even if it’s only for a little while.
I wish I could become a hermit !

O.K, your turn. Rage against the asshole of your choice, or just assholes in general.

2

I dont want to call them assholes, but my whole little group of friends all decided to get married last summer. I am happy for all of them, by why all in the same summer. I really did want to line the up and slap them - i wouldnt go to the extreme of a fish, but still. I am broke, and you guys want shower gifts and wedding gifts and so on… I make good money, as long as I get paid. I work in the internet industry, so my pay is about as dependable as a cell phone in BFE, when you really need it. Needless to say,I cant count on it. Anyway, You said, your turn, so I took it. I dont normally do this, but fuck it - i need to rant too.:wink:

3

“How many assholes do we got on this ship, anyhow?!?”
“YO!”

You run into 'em in all kinds of debate… say that you like SUV’s, and they respond with “So you like killing people in smaller cars who are trying to save the planet?” Say that you like wrestling, and they respond with “So you like little kids killing each other when they try to copy the WWF?” Say that you like guns, and… well, you get the idea.

It’s really simple to point out the fallacy to these assholes. In your example of the lawn mowers, Goo, you’d just have to casually ask “What makes you think all lawn mowers think the same?” Of course, if never gets the asshole to change his mind, but it does distract them long enough for your compatriots to dump a bucket of cold water on his head, give him a wedgie, and then toss him down the laundry chute.

4

Barney is purple. What more needs to be said?

::d&r::

5

*Goo, can I ask which ‘asshole’ it was that broke the camel’s back? Was it in a thread on these boards or was it someone of your own acquaintance?

6

Well, that coding was pretty assholic I guess. :smiley:

7

You reply, “Only if you are driving.”

You reply, “Only if they are your kids.”
A reply like that would go one of two ways.

One, it hits them not unlike a cattle/bolt gun/slaugter house combination resulting in them shutting up/getting a clue/leaving.

Two, we get one damn fine and interesting thread to read.

8

Mersavets, it was on another board. But that particular person was only the last straw. I’ve just been running into more than my fair share of fuckwits lately, online and offline. Like I said, someone is overproducing on the asshole quota.

This board is one of the sanest places I can go, whether the problem is online or off. Very few assholes here, IMO.

I feel amazingly better for getting it out of my system.

[obligatory asskiss]
Thanks for the space, Chicago Reader, and the mods and admins who make it possible
[/obligatory asskiss]