I drove through the aftermath of a 3-4 car accident on the highway a few minutes after it happened. All the cars were already on the side of the road and all that was left was for me to hit their debris field at about 40mph.
That tire had some good tread on it too… 
This is not poison ivy on my eyelid. Please.
I ate my lunch outside in my back yard, and let out a tremendous belch. Then I blamed it on the cat. 
ETA: Oh yeah, bumblebees in my yard are stupid - I have one bumbling around in my house now.
I’m…going to dinner with my parents for Mother’s Day.
Was it?
-D/a
It was not, freakin’ fortunately. Some other weird thing that made my face all itchy, and felt like I had dry shaved with an old razor…which I hadn’t.
I’m hungry and I don’t know when my husband is coming home for supper.
ETA: And he’s home! This is like magic!
We’re going to win the lottery this week.
Why do mockingbirds hate crows so much? Despite being only about half the size of crows the mockingbirds around my place drive off the crows and try to make their lives miserable.
They’re nasty to cats, too.