Do men have “out there” fantasies as well? Or is it more likely to be the girl next door? I’d like to know, if anyone is willing to share.
I have rapist fantasies, and sexual jealousy fantasies. In the rapist fantasies the new acquaintance sex partner has gone to sleep (heavy sleeper), I remove her clothes, tie her hands and feet to the four bedposts, perform oral sex on her until she wakes up and is shocked by what has happened so far. I move from this position, to the dominant coitus position, touching her labia majora with my penis, as if I am getting ready to penetrate. She begs me not to penetrate because of what her husband or boyfriend would say or behave if he found out. I then move up her body until I straddle her face, and tell her that she will have to perform oral sex on me. She does so willingly, until I am at the point of no return, then I move back down to the dominant coitus position. I ask her if she is sexually excited, and she say’s that she is, but keeps talking about how her husband or boyfriend will react if he finds out. I tell her that I will only penetrate a little bit, and proceed to do so. She becomes very excited and I proceed to have make full penetration. All this time I am gazing into her eyes. At this point I am almost to the point of no return, and I maintain this state until she is fully satisfied and returns to sleep. I then untie her, and move her around at will, and continue to have sex for hours.
The above is both a fantasy, and I have acted this out with various willing female sex partners.
My sexual jealousy fantasies are the reverse of the above, where I am the betrayed husband, boyfriend, or sugar daddy, and I get a better high with this fantasy provided that I am in a commited relationship. About a year ago I made this fantasy into an experiment to test a theory, and have given details of this experiment on another thread.
To the moderator:
“God is in the details”
—Mies Vanderohe (sp?)
jesse
I had an early experience with a woman who wanted me to ravish her; ever since, I’ve been unable to fantasize about raping a woman, since it causes the same ambivalent feelings I had then.
This woman was taking a class in Victorian literature, and was taken with the idea of ravishment, which is the proper term for the rape a woman who secretly consents. She recognized that rape games wouldn’t cut it–having a safety word defuses all the tension that should be there for a real ravishment, since the key to it is having a secret wish fulfilled against your apparent will, absolving you of responsibility and allowing you to enjoy. Real, not play, powerlessness is essential.
To carry out her wish, she got involved with me and teased me half to death, but always stopped things before any sort of release or even heavy petting could take place. She would occasionally drop hints like “‘No’ doesn’t always mean ‘no’,” and “sometimes, you need to be forceful.” I knew exactly what she was getting at, but couldn’t bring myself to do it because, from my perspective, it was still rape, just with the aim of being right after-the-fact.
I did try a rape game once, and found it to be a pale imitation of what I imagine a real ravishing might be. I had to concentrate too much on staying in character to enjoy it, and it was still to silly to take seriously.
For what it’s worth, ravishment embodies the idea that several posters have articulated: the woman as goddess, so lofty and unattainable that men revert to their bestial nature when denied her and take by force what they can’t win by virtue; the corollary for the woman is that powerlessness absolves her of responsibility for an act that she desires.
But I think this line of reasoning gets away from one of the original points of the OP, which is:
I receive sexual satisfaction (i.e. orgasm) from fantasizing about being raped. It’s not just me sitting around thinking about hypothetical situations. I specifically call up fantasies that are in my head and I become sexually aroused by them.
I don’t believe it’s a fetish or a disorder because I am able to reach orgasm WITHOUT these fantasies, and without acting them out…but when I’m alone, or when I’m watching a movie that has a particularly alluring villain, I get off on wondering what it would be like to be raped by him.