One of my brothers e-mailed me this joke today. I don’t know why I laughed, but I still giggle, hours later.
Orlando Bloom walks into his therapist’s office and says, “I can’t help myself – every time I look in a mirror, I become aroused.”
Therapist looks at him a moment and says, “Well, that’s understandable. You’re a pussy.”
The judges give this one a 1.5/10.
I will be telling that with a four letter ending.
The one I heard on New Year’s Eve:
A group of butchers are standing around talking. Joe complains how hard it is to keep staff nowadays, “I had to sack the young guy I had working for me. He kept sticking his dick in the meat slicer.”
“Why would he do that?” asked another.
“Don’t know,” said Joe,“but I had to sack her too.”
Am I the only one who had to Google Orlando Bloom?
What is the definition of making love?
something a woman does when a man is fucking her
12 tampons are walking down the street; which one stops to talk to you?
None - they’re all stuck up cunts!
::d&r::
Did he giggle?
Truly, the gods have been good to you.
(Actually I don’t think he’s half bad-looking.)
Much, much worse. I thought the joke had something to do with the cat in the Bloom County comic strip. (Why am I revealing this? :o )
Now that’s I’ve also googled Orlando Bloom, I don’t even get the joke. 
Which half? 
I don’t know why you laughed, either. Relief that the joke was mercifully short?
Horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks “Why the long face?”
Grasshopper walks into a bar, bartender says, “Hey we do a drink named after you!”, grasshopper says, “What, a ‘Trevor’?”
While on a long car journey, a penguin’s car breaks down. He leaves it at the garage to be fixed and waits in the ice cream shop next door. A few hours later, he wanders over to the garage.
The mechanic says, “Looks like you blew a seal.”
“Oh, no” the penguin replies. “Milkshake.”
(If you don’t get this, imagine the pengin wiping off his beak)
And the horse says, “Because I’m married to an ass”
Well, I’m whooshed. No clue what this means.
The grasshopper’s name is Trevor.
Let’s assume your real name was Danny, "Human (Wordman) walks into a bar, bartender says, “Hey we do a drink named after you!”, Wordman says, “What, a ‘Danny’?”
What you missed was that while the joke describes the insect, and that’s how the bartender recognizes it, the insect has a name. A name is a label for a human or animal, thing, place, product (as in a brand name) and even an idea or concept, normally used to distinguish one from another. Names can identify a class or category of things, or a single thing, either uniquely, or within a given context. A personal name identifies a specific unique and identifiable individual person. So while we call grasshoppers “grasshopper”, this anthropomorphic grasshopper has been given the name “Trevor”, thereby the punchline in an unexpected response.
I’ll hazard a WAG that there is a cocktail called a “Grasshopper”, but the grasshopper thinks of himself by his own name, Trevor, and not the name of his genus.
That explains half of it. Here’s the other half:
Grasshopper:
3/4 oz green creme de menthe
3/4 oz white creme de cacao
3/4 oz light cream
Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass, and serve.
Ah - there you go. I actually have heard that genre of joke, but Trevor is an uncommon-enough name in the U.S., that I thought it might be a specific reference…
…or it could be that I am a humorless git.