I really am in a situation here that I’m not sure how to handle.
Please bare with me as this is a long tale and I will keep it as brief as possible.
I recently moved my sick daughter from GA to PA for a fresh start and also because I had met a man that I thought at the time was worth it.
When we moved here, we lived with one of his friends, which turned out to be a drug dealer and was subsequently arrested. Now living with people in and of itself is a stressful situation but when you come from a quiet 2 people household to a place that has people driving in and out of the drive way at all hours it’s beyond any stress that I want to go through again.
So, we move out of this place and move in with SO’s step dad, again, I’ve been trying to buy a house or rent an apartment but can’t as I don’t have any utility bills in my name, no drivers license or proof that I live here.
Fast forward to me finally being able to buy a house. This is all well and good until my daughter decides she wants to move back to PA to live with her dad because she isn’t making friends and she likes her doctors better back there. This is ok, she’s 14, I had talked to a shrink about this and he said that most times when kids come from single family homes they go with the opposite sex parent between the ages of 13-18 for validation.
Fast forward to this past weekend, my SO and I had been fighting since we moved into this house due to money and jealousy issues (mostly my own and his selfishness).
This past weekend we were supposed to spend the entire weekend together working on giving it a go as a couple. Friday night he came home with a 5th of Crown Royal. Now he had told me before that he gets kinda aggressive when he drinks liquor. He also proceeded to tell me that he invited a couple over to play pictionary. Against this is fine.
We are playing pictionary, he is drinking his CR and things are going ok, until he started calling me rude names such as bitch, pain in the ass and heifer. I had had enough by then and started drinking the liquor too. I figure if he was going to be an ass to me, I’d be an ass to him.
Cut to after the couple leaves, apparently I told the other couple that if things didn’t work out between us, that I’d kill him and they’d find his body in a ditch. I do not remember saying this.
We go to go to bed and he’s in there changing clothes getting ready to leave, by this time it’s after midnight and he’s been drinking too much to drive anywhere. (actually we all had).
So it proceeded to be a huge physical fight, where I called 9-1-1 and hung up, apparently they called back but neither of us picked up the phone so the cops showed up. In the mean time, I leave in my vehicle to get away from him holding me down.
I come back to the house and end up getting arrested in my drive way for dui. Now, he’s pissed off at me because had he been arrested for domestic violence, he wouldn’t be able to have his guns or hunting license ever again and it seems as though that’s all he’s worried about.
I know that I fucked up but he’s not taking any responsibility for anything bad that happened in this relationship and it’s really starting to fester in my mind.
He’s moving out today and I’m leaving for PA to visit my family for the holidays but damnit, this freaking hurts!!!
I am going to call my Employee Assistance Program and see if I can’t talk to a counselor and try to get this outta my head but what the heck do I do in the mean time?
I love this man and hate to see this relationship end but my question is (and it took me awhile to get to it I know and I’m sorry). Was I abused or do you think it was the alcohol that made the events turn out the way they did?
I guess I am just rambling but I don’t have any friends here in GA yet, and I am hurting like crazy and don’t know where to turn.
Thanks for reading (if you did) and again, I’m sorry it’s so long and discombobulated.