From the chemical laboratory:
On isopropyl alcohol, “In case of skin contact seek medical attention”
On Borden’s skin cream, “Avoid prolonged contact”
On water, “Wear bodily protection”
STEAL ME would be more concise.
Ok, I gotta ask: Which organizations are sending large amounts of cash through the mail?
Not large amounts, but for example Nielsen (the TV ratings people) will send $5 in cash to people who answer a survey.
Ah ha. I see.
I have gotten such surveys. Used to be a buck now it’s 5.
Never seen anything on the outside that indicates there is money in the envelope. Putting those warnings on then is idiotic, and fits right into this thread.
One of my co-workers got a bad nosebleed at work. I gave her a tampon to at least hold it at bay until she could get to a doctor.
Must have gone up. I got a Ten-spot a couple months ago. I was actually shocked that it showed up as promised. Got a dollar in the survey, so I’m good for $11 bucks!
Nice thread of “Posters no longer on the board”, by the way.
Seen under the oblong hole on the end of a box of oranges.
“Holes for inspection of contents only.”
Because heaven forbid that someone would use the holes to pick up the box only for it to tear out causing the box to fall on their foot.
I have both tampons and menstrual pads in my first aid kit.
The period ship has sailed for me, but I still keep a few in my purse in case I’m out in public and someone hollers, “Does anyone have a pad?” It’s happened a couple of times.
One thing I learned in pharmacy school was to always tell people who were getting suppositories to unwrap them before use. There are also reasons why, for instance, liquid antibiotics always say “Take XYZ amount BY MOUTH…” because one would be surprised at how many parents would pour it into the child’s ear.
And regarding the warning about babies and garage doors: ISTR a story about someone who left a baby in a car seat under an open garage door, and the door closed on the baby and seriously injured or killed it. 
Isn’t that the reason for the instruction to wait a minute or two after nuking it? Gives it time for the hot part to warm up the cold, and for the cold part to cool down the hot, thus making the temperature more or less even throughout.
I’ve played Klondike solitaire all my life, learned by watching all my elders playing it. Not much else to do in the pre-tv, computer game days. Anyway, I really enjoyed Microsofts Solitaire which I think was on every PC tney have ever made since the advent of Windows. I was disturbed when they started letting one win as now I sometimes feel that if I am winning or do win that they have ‘cheated’ for me. But all companies seem to do this now.
The most recent version of the game I have lets one play in six different modes, titled from 'Easy" to “Grandmaster” and then finally, Random.
And now a notice has popped up at the bottom “*Random decks might be unsolvable.” Probably not intended to fend off a lawsuit but to keep people from crying that “Maybe it’s defective, I didn’t win!”
Grow up, kid. You almost never win at one card deal Klondike, once through the deck. I find I win about 2 times out of a hundred tries.
That’s one of my all time favorite LtBs. You can’t read this complaint aloud with a straight face.
[Defendant] also owed plaintiff … a duty of care not to drink under age, or to fire bottle rockets out of his anus.
[Defendant] breached this duty when he both drank under age … and attempted to fire a bottle rocket out of his anus while under the influence. The act of firing a bottle rocket, within Huntington City Limits, was also a crime.
Plaintiff asserts that the activity of underaged drinking and firing bottle rockets out of one’s own anus constitutes an “ultra-hazardous” activity which exposes both of these defendant to strict liability.
It is a good one, isn’t it? It has a lot of competition at LtB, though. If you type ‘idiot’ into their search field, you get six pages of posts. Not to mention court documents partially done in Klingon.
I once had a pair of racing driver gloves that actually had the warning “Racing is dangerous and can cause death” on them. The company added them to their items after having been a defendant in a wrongful death lawsuit.
Yes surveys will put a $5 bill I noticed in a large envelope, or it’s one of those “We’re sending you $1 bill in the hopes you’ll return it and make a donation of your own” charity things.
They put the warnings for postal employees specifically because we see so many of them we eventually catch on there’s cash inside when one rips in the machine and some bills fall out.
I heard that Dyson air dryers have a drawing of a penis with a no-parking symbol over it, indicating (presumably) that men should not use these things to dry their genitalia.
And yet under Federal Law the USPS cannot be sued if their workers steal from the mail.
Can Fed Ex , UPS etc be sued if their employees steal packages? I couldn’t find any examples of them being sued although there were plenty of their employees being arrested for theft. Sure, nobody would bother suing Fed Ex/ UPS because their employee stole an item worth $200 - but some of these cases involved thousands of dollars worth of packages being stolen from a single recipient/shipper and if the was a lawsuit over one of them , it would make news coverage somewhere.
You can tell lawyers were involved in this product’s advertising:
