Narration: Take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning. (Warning: tickets should not be taken internally.)
Homer: See? Because of me now they have a warning.
In the theme of my other post (in the Pit)
Warning with the pistol I just got.
“Warning! Using product may expose user to lead”
A warning I wish had come with a tube of Prep H: “This is not a one-dose sized application. Apply sparingly.” Who knew? Well, I did, and my partner at the time soon found out.
Interesting, since tampons were originally made to bandage bullet holes
I’m not sure of the difference, if any, between tampons and “sanitary napkins”, but perhaps the warning is to indicate that they’re not suitable for use as dinner napkins? 
On the cellophane wrapper on a bouquet of flowers purchased from Costco, “Not for animal or human consumption.”
That one makes sense. Most grazing animals love flowers. I could see a horse-owner buying some flowers as a treat for their horse.
That one is not entirely frivolous. Some types of food heat unevenly, so that part of the food is warm, whereas 2 inches away it’s practically boiling.
Not even close!
It could be worse. Lowering the Bar reports that there was a lawsuit in 2012 due to a member of the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity shooting one out of his anus. It startled an onlooker, who fell off a balcony.
So the lawsuit was filed by the person who fell, against the fratboy who launched the bottle rocket. I expected a suit against the university for allowing him to enroll, despite being an idiot.
Every gun I sell has a removable sticker warning that firearms can be dangerous.
I used to work with a guy that claimed he put one
in his wifes vagina. And she allegedly liked it.
Maybe they shouldn’t be removable.
It was against the shootee and against the fraternity, for failing to have a railing on the balcony (against the building code), for allowing underage drinking, and for failing to properly supervise its members.
When I went to the ER for a bloody nose, the packing used was called a “nasal tampon”. It was , however made from a different material than the menstrual kind.
We had new garage doors installed, as well as new openers, tracks, etc. The guy did a really nice job. As part of his service, he stopped monthly for three months to check on them.
However, after he installed them I spent time with a razor and goo-gone taking the red warning stickers off. They warned us not to crush infants. We have no infants, so I was comfortable removing the stickers.
So of course he reapplied the stickers each time he came to check on the doors. Each time I removed them immediately after he drove away. I almost want to crush an infant, just to show him.
I had one also. It was supposed to remain in place for 5 days IIRC. However, after 48 hours without sleep I returned to the ER. There, a doctor looked in my mouth and was alarmed that the tampon had been inserted too far and was in my nasopharynx. I was gagging constantly and couldn’t swallow/eat/sleep. When he pulled it out I experienced the most intense relief.
My rubber tent peg mallet has a warning label that says “Wear safety goggles while using”. Which has to be up there with “most widely ignored safety advice” (by percentage at least). I mean is there a single human being on the planet who takes safety googles camping (unless they are cooking meth I guess 
)
Seen on a bakery box:
There is a clip in the middle of the cake board to keep the cake stable during transportation. Behaviors such as face smashing into the cake can result in severe injury.
I work for the Postal Service and we will get mail with visible money in it from organizations and the organization will put these huge red stickers on it saying STEALING FROM THE MAIL AS A POSTAL WORKER IS A FELONY and lists the crime code.
Yes I think I do understand why I shouldn’t be opening makl on the job and taking bills out for myself.