Dear holy God above, surprise indeed! Farts, fat and zits in one fell swoop. :eek:
What the heck would posess anyone to try that in a fudge recipe???
On a similar vein, if you are having a backyard BBQ
Smoked Bologna
Go the deli and look in the case and find the whole bologna that the deli clerk normally slices. Have them cut you a single piece about 6-8" long.
When at home remove any wrappers from your bologna.
Take a apple corer and start popping plugs out of the bologna. From the top, from the sides, you want tunnels through the bologna.
Take the bologna cores that you removed, and cut off some pieces about 3/4" long.
Put a plug back into one end of one hole, secure with a toothpick as necessary. Go to the other end of the hole and fill with bottled BBQ sauce almost to the top. Plug the other end with another bologna plug and toothpick.
Continue until you have all the tunnels filled with BBQ sauce.
Put this puppy on the grill at a low temp (250ish) and with smoke. After an hour or so, your guests will be making fun of you and your smoked bologna.
Remove from the grill, chop into irregular but bite sized pieces, stick toothpicks in the pieces. Put it down and stand back. People go after this like it was crack. The funny part is usually the people that make the most fun of your about smoked bologna are usually the biggest eaters when you put it out.
I went to a barbecue last night and it would seem that those throwing it had been inspired by this thread. Eel? I can handle. Raw fish? No problem. This crap? My stomach is still doing somersaults. It didn’t help that they put “stealth meat” in just about everything save, perhaps, the pickles.
The salads of horror:
Gelatin Salad - Cherry Jell-O with grated carrots. Okay, I’m sure this is standard to some subset of society, but it’s definitely not something I came across often growing up.
Fruit Salad - Large chunks of apple, whipped cream, and chopped up Snickers bars. There did not appear to be any other ingredients.
Potato Salad - Potatoes, eggs, and Miracle Whip. Not terribly exciting, until I found the unidentifiable meat chunk. It didn’t taste like anything I’m familiar with and was entirely covered in Miracle Whip, so I have no idea what it even looked like.
Pasta Salad - Sweet, with unidentifiable meat chunk. This one was probably deer.
Coleslaw - Fairly standard coleslaw, though it had stealth meat.
Pasta Salad Part Deux - Not sweet this time. Actually quite bland, with what I think was canned tuna.
Fruit Salad Take Two - I thought this was fruit salad or at least something sweet. It looked like coleslaw, but it had multicolored marshmallows in it. I was figuring another bizarre “sweet veg” combination like the gelatin salad. No, actually, it turned out to have crab in it. And marshmallows. WTF.
I’m told most of the meat involved in this was the bounty of hunting, which is probably why I couldn’t really identify it, aside from the fact that I don’t willingly eat meat. I don’t know if all of this was the result of trying to make exciting new dishes or they thought it would be funny to hide meat in the salads. I was very polite, to the detriment of my stomach, and ate everything on my plate. Urk.
Sauerkrat Chocolate Cake 
:eek:
I have nothing to add, other than the fact that I’ll be giggling about “…with stealth meat” for days.
Now, I’m from the South, and we put pork in everything. We put it in the beans, we put it in the greens, everything. If you go eat at a real Southern place, your entire meal including vegetables will be at least 80% pork, whether you know it or not. But we don’t put it in the cole slaw.
I’m reminded of a classic Sunday Peanuts strip that was rerun recently in my local paper: We see Linus in the kitchen, squirting something out of a plastic container into a bowl. Next he’s sitting in front of the TV eating out of the bowl – CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH! Lucy comes along and asks, “What are you eating?” Linus replies, “Sugar lumps with honey.” Lucy gets a sick, horrified expression on her face, clamps her hands to her mouth and runs off. Linus, oblivious, calls after her, “They’re good with cinnamon, too!”
You of coarse mean testicle.
I have to add that attending family get togethers in the summer in the 1960’s, most of the horrible Jello dishes were there. All the families would come to the reunions at a farm or a large park. There would be a couple hundred kids and adults, with things you thought shouldn’t be pickled. The different vegetables molded in Jello were numerous. The lemon Jello dish mentioned before was a common one. There was a table’s worth of Jello molds. Yech!
I think it was some sort of fish or possibly poultry in the coleslaw, which, I suppose, had the potential to be a good flavor combination. I can’t imagine putting any of that in coleslaw, but in the right hands I can theorize it, somehow, working.
But, I’m still utterly baffled by the marshmallows in the crab salad. I cannot even hope to comprehend this combination. I’ve tried searching recipes online, to see if this is a valid food choice, but have yet to find anything even remotely like this.
I made Coca-Cola chicken once, when I was 14, from a recipe I found in an old edition of The I Hate to Cook Book, by Peg Bracken. The recipe involved basting the chicken in a sauce made of equal parts Coke and ketchup before baking. It tasted better than it looked.
Now you’re just showing off your generosity of spirit.
But how bad did it look?
“Surprise! This fudge totally sucks!”
This isn’t really in keeping with the thread topic, because they actually didn’t suck, but once MrWhatsit made actual chocolate chicken pot pies (a la South Park) to bring to a potluck. Nobody wanted to try them, and they did kind of look like ass, but they were actually pretty tasty.
It looked like it was covered in blood. My sibs wouldn’t even touch it.
I read that. I have never met anyone else who read that (or who would admit it). In a Quark magazine. About 1971.
“Christmas” Fudge. I don’t know what it’s proper title was, but this was not your standard chocolate-y fudge, or peanut butter that people often make around Christmas.
No, this was white and vaguely fudgelike. And contained many red and green cherries. I think they were candied cherries–meant for things like fruitcake, as opposed to maraschino cherries, but it is hard to be sure.
All I’m certain of is that my mother won a raffle for a Christmas basket filled to the brim with goodies. She handed out some of the goodies to her friends, but was reluctant to inflict this fudge on anyone.
It was icky. Pretty, festive, but horrid tasting. In fairness, it must be acknowledged that members of my family are not real keen on the taste of white chocolate, so perhaps someone else would have liked it better than we did. But it was the kind of thing where we each ate a small piece thinking “How bad can it be?” and then later tried another bite under the “It can’t possibly be as bad as we thought it was?” principle.
I believe much of it was eventually thrown out.
And in the same spirit, the Gallery of Regrettable Food.
OOPS! gotpasswords beat me to it.
I just made said fudge for a party. I have plenty left over, but there were lots of deserts for a small crowd. It tastes just like good fudge. One person wants the recipe.