Relationship, attitude towards women and interracial dating

There is a difference between races of how different they generally react towards women. I think this is caused by the culture and the media. A black man or a white from the West will never have an advantage over an Asian man or a Russian man or a Middle Eastern man in picking up traditional females from these areas or cultures because he does not understand the customs and mannerisms. A black man’s from the US overly confident and boastful attitudes (these qualities are subjective and I perceive like that) for example might get some tons of girl in America or in Europe but that thing won’t work out so well in places like Russia and Asia. Moreover, especially in Muslim countries, instead of getting girl, he is likely to get his head chopped off.

In traditional Asian/Russian or Muslim society, a man needs to be respectful, humble, modest, and responsible to get a woman but in the west a man needs to be arrogant, rude, loud-mouthed, obnoxious, cocky, “outgoing”, act mean-like to other men, violent, and too “macho”-like to get a woman.

However, due to culture erosion which steams from the fact that the Western way of life has been diffusing almost everywhere, men from non-Western cultures have had struggle to change their mentalities into Western-like mannerism. Therefore, it is less likely to see an Asian/Middle Eastern/Russian Man with Western women than a Western man with an Asian/Middle Eastern/Russian woman.

This is how it seems to me and I wonder how it seems to you. This thread may be overly stupid but I have to check out my perception through learning your ideas on the matter.

What you are describing is culture, not race, and I’m not sure it’s accurate culturally either.

It is interesting that you say that, because I think most Americans would say that women are afforded far more opportunities in the West than in most Asian or Muslim countries, and therefore Western societies are substantially less male-oriented than the societies you seem to be comparing.

To use just one example, it is a frequent complaint of Western women that they are subjected to more aggressive groping, pinching, comments, and other harassment by men in Turkey than what they are used to back home. I don’t wish to label all Turkish men as being so rude, but I thought you’d be interested to know that many people here see Muslim societies as being much less welcoming to women than what they are used to here.

Which would Indonesia be?


How respectful is it to “get” a woman? How humble is the man (more accurately, how much humility is prevalent) in a culture where a woman is not permitted to walk with her partner? How responsible is it to practice corporal or capital punishment for women who’ve been raped?

Isn’t there a stereotype of, e.g., Asian women being more attracted to Americans than other Asians?

Do you think the OP was talking about Indonesia, or are you just being clever?

Seems to me first you’d have to find a way to control for urban vs. rural, which I suspect is significant - urban dwellers encounter more people, more diverse people and more diverse forms of entertainment, hence are more open to diversity in dating and marriage.

My first g/f was black. The way my parents reacted you would have thought I killed babies

Western culture has had a major impact on conceptions of beauty and desirability. For example, from a reliablesource:

Moving to IMHO from Great Debates.

People are often attracted to the exotic; and to someone from Asia, an American is going to be relatively exotic. So regardless of gender issues, all else being equal I’d expect that tendency.

As someone who has spent more than a few nights in Chinese karaoke bars, let me have a quick laugh at the idea that Asian men are more “respectful, humble, modest, and responsible.”

In my ample time hanging around western men in China and the young women who date them, it’s my experience that women in (inland, relatively poor) China consider white western men to be less likely to cheat, more likely to take an active part in family life, and generally more likely to be an attentive partner. Chinese social spheres can be very separate for men and woman, and often its women who end up with the short end of that stick. The western model of marriage, with its emphasis on emotional intimacy, shared interests, and mutual decision making seems positively enlightened compared to more traditional Chinese marriages. The promise of a high potential salary and a potential visa sweetens the deal considerably. Height is also extremely important in what Chinese women look for in men, and western men often have an advantage on that. Indeed, a lot of the western guys I knew in China were short enough to have a dating disadvantage in the west, but not in China.

The black guys I knew in China- African and African-American/British- had no problem getting girls. Women are curious, and dating a black man was an attractively modern and rebellious thing to do. It would probably lead to more problems, though, when it came to meeting the parents and marriage. I’ve seen it happen, though.

Its my understanding that in China, the extremely serious responsibility to carry one the family line resides in men, so men have a lot more pressure to marry an “acceptable mate,” and there is often resistance to Chinese men marrying foreigners. Women, on the other hand, have always been raised with the idea that they will be married out to “someone else’s house.” It wasn’t that long ago that girl children were considered pretty much worthless things to be pawned off as soon as possible to whoever made the best deal. So parents aren’t quite as concerned with the marriage choice of females. As long as they are married to someone, the parent’s work is done and the rest is the male’s parent’s problems. Boy children, however, have the sacred responsibility to pass down the generations of history in a family.

That said, these are old ideas. I know quite a few Chinese men who have married western women. I will grant, though, that many of the western women I know who dated Chinese men eventually found that said men had serious Chinese fiancees. I think a lot of guys are curious about western women, but still feel a lot of pressure to marry a “proper” wife.

I agree that people are often attracted to the exotic. I think the difference in beauty standards makes a lot of room for people to find "ideal’ mates that would not be considered ideal to someone in their local milieu. For example, in China, skin whiteness is the number supreme above-everything mark of beauty. The saying is “white skin covers 1,000 flaws,” and a girl with ruddy skin will have trouble dating no matter how otherwise desirable she is.

In the west, we don’t have that same idea. So western guys see these women who they see as gorgeous who are inexplicably unattached. They see Lucy Liu where a local guy may see a swarthy peasant with the big mouth of a farmer.

It works for women, too. Western women are very desirable in much of Africa. You see a lot of plain, chubby western women married to men who look like underwear models. And I’m sure those guys see nothing but beauty in the women, according to their own schema.

Anyway, just some thoughts. I wouldn’t make too much of any seeming pattern. People all basically just want to get laid.

My boyfriend is Middle Eastern - Lebanese to be exact - and you’re pretty much right in your description. He’ll make a great father and husband, he’s one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met, and he doesn’t care that sometimes he might come across as not-so-manly. However, his father and most of the men I’ve met from that culture are the opposite. His dad’s an ass, even going as far as spitting on him because he wasn’t enough of a man. He treats his wife like trash. Another guy that I know is Turkish, and he treats his girlfriend poorly as well. He isn’t faithful and he has always treated her like she had to obey him.

So your ideas are a little off from my experience. I think men everywhere are pretty much the same, with some exceptions.

Perhaps the OP has been watching too many movies ?
Movies and TV are entertainment, not reality.

I’m a Western guy living in China, and almost every day I meet Chinese people that insist that they know everything about Western countries because they have seen Western movies and TV.
Of course many of these people have never traveled more than an hour from where they were born, but they still claim to know everything about the outside world.

The inverse is true about China or Asia. Many Western people think that Asian women are submissive, but , in general, if you spend any time in China you will see that today’s Chinese women are not submissive.

I am not sure but mixing of two? What do you think? Like Turks. Turks are central Asian tribe but influenced by Islam.

Why do you think it is not accurate culturally?

Actually I don’t even watch movies or TV as much as you think. This is what I observe during my staying in Western countries.