Religion is like a football game.

except all the teams are on the field, and no one knows the rules or the score.

Dallas cowboys fans tend to focus on three guys: the quarterback, the center, and some guy who no one really knows what he does, but everyone agrees is important. There are two groups of Cowboy fans, those who think the coach is important, and others who don’t. Some Dallas cowboy fans are really nice people, but others complain that they are being oppressed because they can’t get the ref to wave a cowboys penant, even though most of the fans are cowboy fans. There is a offshoot of Cowboy fans that feel that all the teams are likely to have the same score, what’s important is that you are rooting for a team.

Pittsburgh Steeler fans are a lot like Cowboy fans, except they never buy anything from the hotdog vendor. They also don’t think the Steelers are putting a center on the field.

The fans of the Denver Broncos aren’t really fans of the team as a whole, they are fans of individual players on the team. Some like the center, others the quarterback, while still others prefer the running back. While they all agree that the players together form the team, they tend to cheer for their favorite player more thatn the team. Some Broncos fans always buy luxury seats, while others get seats in the nose bleed section.

There are people who think football is horrible, and beleive that the only way they will be happy is if they find a way out. They beleive the game will last forever, so they have to find their own way out.

There are people who are disinterested in the game. Many will say they are Cowboys fans to avoid trouble, but still aren’t paying attention to the game.

There are people who are interested in the game, but insist that the score is zero for every team. There are others who agree that the scores are probably zero, but accept that there may be some team that we do not know about that has scored.

There are people that think they can influence the game through superstitions.

There are those who believe that a touchdown has been scored as soon as the team gets the ball. If an interception is made, that’s a horrible sin.

Some people get drunk and fall out of the stands instead of paying attention to the game.

And no matter which team is your favorite, everybody hates the Raiders.

You’d think the Saints would be doing better than the Cardinals.

Are there cheerleaders? Where do the cheerleaders fit into all of this?

Nuns, baby! Very bouncy nuns!

Don’t forget that there are some who believe that the rest of the cosmos was created by the creator of football, and have of late been promoting a thinly disguised version of their thinking called Intelligent Defense. Others believe that everything emerged from primordial ooze, and some don’t give a rat’s patoot.

And there are those who know that baseball is the only true religion.

And I should have mentioned radical teams who believe all western teams are evil and must be destroyed to protect the purity of the game.