Yeah me too. We should arrange some kind of National Atheist-Only Dopefest to practice our hobbies together. We can discuss nativity scene kicking techniques and strategies. How long we like to hold our middle finger up when flipping someone off and so on.
I’ve asked this of some of the… more sexual of the Christians I’ve dated. An all too common response?
“Well, I’m human and I know that I’m not perfect.”
What an excuse! I’m glad they make it. 
This is interesting to me. I grew up in a very liberal Christian tradition, (United Church of Canada) although my family were regular attenders (oh 90% of Sundays during the year and about a third of them in the summer) When I went to highschool I first encountered the more conservative evangelical type of Christians, which actually pushed me into the atheist camp for a while.
However, since my early upbringing gave me a socially progressive view of Christianity and encouraged critical thinking I cannot really disown belief. I don’t attend church currently, but I am loosely adhered to my parents’ church, I go a few times a year, (didn’t go on Easter but had vauge intentions on that front) my son attends Sunday school. If I worked less weekends, or was trying to make connection with a new peer group I would probably start attending. However, I could care less if you are agnostic, atheist, Jewish or Zoroastrian, and unless it is a theological discussion about good and evil please keep your beliefs to yourself.
My boyfriend is a lapsed Roman Catholic, (French Canadian RC) who attends mass only on Christmas eve if we are at his Dad’s. However, he has a very strict conservative view of religion…aka detests guitar played at services, all informal services and Evangelical Protestantism (two of his brothers have gone this route) and falls into a “if you are going to do it, do it RIGHT (traditional RC mass or similar) or not at all.” He even gripes that Christmas eve midnight mass is not at midnight any more.
We have mild disagreements on the sending my son to Catholic school based on my Protestant horror of “dead Jesus on a stick” in every classroom. I usually counter with, ok if you are willing to take the boy to mass and be responsible for first communion and all that, then sure, we will switch school boards. He drops it. Fast.
Out of curiousity, out of the two types of lapsed not attending semi-believers would you be more willing to date? (The fact that my boyfriend is a straight male notwithstanding, imagine a woman with similar views.)
Or, would you find either of us too hard-core religious and make the first date the last?
(Note not meant to antagonize. It is something I wonder about.)
I know this wasn’t directed at me, but at the OP, but I figured I’d answer.
I’d date you, sure. I’ve dated girls who are similarly religious. But I wouldn’t ever want to settle into a long-term relationship with you and I’d know that I would never, say, marry you.
Not greenstamps, no. It’s just that Xians are the kind of assholes who, if they think they know the path to eternal life and happiness, figure it would be nice to share it. You or I wouldn’t pull a stunt like that, obviously - best to just yuk it up over the poor hellbound saps gonna fry for ever on Beelzebub’s griddle, amirite?
You, in a second, even without the issue of the proper equipment.
Yeah. Cause clearly, those are the only two options. :rolleyes:
As DtC and others have noted, it is effing rude for religious people to believe that atheists know we’re wrong, but are somehow lazy or ignorant, and just need our rebelliousness worn down.
I once had a colleague who was religious (and also African-American). When the subject of religion came up once, I made the mistake of trying to find common ground: I told her that one thing I admired about Jesus was the way he treated humble people grandly and spoke up to powerful people.
She responded, “Sounds like you’re not as atheist as you think - maybe one day, you’ll come around”. I didn’t know it was possible to combine faulty logic so seamlessly with arrogant condescension, and it took all my self-discipline to keep from responding, “Thank you for saying that. And maybe, one day, you’ll wake up white”.
I think believers and non believers can date and get along fine if their feelings for each other include a real respect for each others belief system.
I won’t try to convert you
I won’t mock your beliefs
You also have to know what to talk about and what not to talk about, and keep your sense of humor. crack a few “going to hell” and “pink unicorn” jokes knowing you still hold each other in high regard and deep affection.
I don’t particularly see why something should be respected simply because someone believes it. I might not mock the person if I respect them, but it certainly won’t be because I have any respect for the belief system itself.
I think this woman was either putting you on or otherwise being disingenuous about her faith. Good Friday is the most solemn holy day of the Catholic calendar. It is traditionally a day of fasting and penance. Doubt very much someone seriously religious would be going out on a date.
I didn’t say it should. If you feel strongly and lose respect for their intelligence or whatever because of their belief system then chances are a romantic relationship isn’t going anywhere.
I’m talking about respecting their right to choose their own path and repecting and caring for them as a person besides.
I dated a religious lady. I liked her because she was a terrific person, honest, compassionate, smart, and funny, considerate and caring toward others. I didn’t agree with or necessarily respect the religious beliefs themselves but honored her right to work that out in her own way and in her own time.
I feel your pain, brother!
As an agnostic woman who’s done the internet dating thing, I get responses from guys that figure it will be easier to get laid with a godless heathen. I am very cautious about going out with men whose profile lists anything but atheist or agnostic. When I do, I’m on high alert.
Figure out what common clues the religious women have given you and be on the lookout for them. 'S all I got.
May I ask why? I believe in evolution, same sex marriage, married, divorced or gay clergy of either sex, the Bible as an ok example of ways of living (but it was written a whole long time ago and is full of stuff that is NOT OK NOW) and I am currently shaked up with someone without benefit of clergy. My church had a moderator who questioned the divinity of Christ.
So what would make you say Im not long term material? The fact I have some faith, or the fear you would be somehow dragged into my occasional forarys into church attendance? Interestingly in three years I have attended 2 catholic masses with the boyfriend and he has gone to one service (funeral) at my parents church.
(And Im not offended, because if you can’t get with my low level religiousness, I respect that. I broke up with a guy who turned out to be a closet conservative southern baptist when I found out we disagreed on oh, pretty much anything religious, and his solution was that he would pray I saw the light. Also Im pretty content with my life and partner at present.)
Like I said in my earlier post I broke up with a fundamentalist.
Ooops missed most of my post. The crux (ha!)of the matter was the fundamentalist was upset someone gave his niece a toy dinosaur. I took the evolutionist side, he disagreed, said I was going to Hell, (but he’d pray I’d be saved). Broke up with him within hours and never looked back.
So yeah, dating people even those who say they don’t go to church can be tough.
You should come to Australia. Nobody gives a shit about religion down here.
I’ve been. It was, uh, heaven.
Isn’t that true about most of Europe also? I know that at least The Netherlands has a very low percentage of religious folk.
You are a great target. Women look at men as a project. They want to change you. When you say you are an atheist, you are ringing a Pavlovian bell.I can change him to see the light.