resolved... married men should be allowed to be cute...

In My Humble Opinion
21

Thea, I’ve read your responses. I have a few concerns. It’s perfectly natural to have a crush on someone. Crushes are fun and basically harmless diversions from everyday life. But you have twice described your attraction to be painful, which I find a little odd. I mean, if this crush isn’t “fun” anymore, if it’s actually causing you emotional pain (a sexual death), then I would heartily recommend you either exit the scene entirely or quit indulging your fantasies about him. Because they are now doing you more harm than good.

You have not mentioned any other romantic interest. I hope that you don’t spend your time obsessing with particle to the exclusion of “lesser” men. Because you do realize that particle may seem ideal to you, but that it is an illusion. He is a human being. He is flawed. He may even fart.

And remember, your ideal partner is, first and foremost, someone attainable.

Finally, he left the first company and now you are both coincidentally working for the same company again. I certainly hope that you didn’t interview with the company he went to work for any reason non job-related. Because if the fact that he went to work there had ANYthing to do with you being there, then you have crossed the line. (And if you were a male pursuing a female, it would even be frightening.)

Sorry if I’ve over-reacted, but the mother hen in me is telling you that it is time to quit fantasizing on particle and focus your energy on finding somebody else, somebody attainable.

22

Is this what I have to look forward to? I don’t know how to feel about this.

I’m getting married in 139 days. I understand that the simple fact that I know exactly how many days it is may be perceived as “cute” by some of these unprincipled women, but I need to know: Should I be worried?

I mean, I’ve had my share of relationships (and likely a few others’ shares as well) and now that I’ve finally found the right one I am going to have to purchase or otherwise obtain a club or similar weapon to protect myself from vicious, unwanted advances by desperate she-pirates? Am I allowed to strike these fearsome predators in order to protect the sanctity of my new marriage? This would be purely self-preservation, I think.

23

I love being the cute husband, I even cater to it! My wife has an office full of women who want to kill her every day she shows up with leftovers from the night before.

“What’s that? It smells delicious!”
“Oh, it’s spinach lasagna with extra parmesan on top, it’s yummie!”
“Take you long to make it?”
“No, my husband cooked it. I got home last night and he had this ready AND he did the dishes afterward.”
“Really? Hey, do you think you could stand next to this open window…?”

Luckily I work in a small office of guys, so I only have to fend off the ladies once a year when I go to the annual company meeting/party. Alone. For 3 weeks. In South Africa. 10,000 miles away from Mrs. Tomcat. Y’know, my wife IS lucky I am so very faithful.

But then again, so am I. My wife’s a cutie too. And last week after a mind-blowing orgasm (MBO? Should we create another TLA?) she whispered in my ear “Just remember THAT the next time you look at another woman.” :smiley:

I have to admit to still being flummoxed when I am introduced to a drop-dead gorgeous gal, though…Yes I love my wife, no I’ll never cheat, but man! Did you see the curves on her?!? And it gets worse because I have no excuse to not sit and carry on a conversation with them, because I AM the married guy. They know it, I know it, we all know it, so they relax because I’m not going to try and climb into their pants. But the whole time I’m sitting there these not-so-cute thoughts are racing through my head; generally involving black leather, a good vibrations catalog and a bowl of Altoids. So I occasionally drift off in my thinking, then snap-back and start to feel guilty because A) I’m the married guy (trademark)! I shouldn’t be thinking those thoughts! B) She thinks I’m the married guy (trademark)! She wouldn’t be letting down her defenses and opening up to me if she knew what perverted things I just did to her in my mind!

Back to the OP…I see why women are turned onto married guys. The men are generally less forward and pushy, so it allows a woman to feel comfortable around him. This would also explain why some women are attracted to older guys, outside of their huge, bulging, engrossed wallet(JOKE! Laugh a little!). Older men are more laid back, more confident, less pushy, etc. the same as married men. Thus women are allowed the time that they need to work through their feelings. In the case of the older guy, this could be a good thing (especially for him!), but with the married one, wellll…I guess I’d have to say that y’all are suckers for punishment. :stuck_out_tongue:

24

Gee, he should take some anger management classes.

(D&R)

Seriously, it’s a strange phenomenon, because it happened to me, too. When I was single I got some attention from the ladies but it was an effort. Now I’m Mr. Adorable. I suggest the following hypotheses as explanations:

Hypothesis 1: Once spoken for for a significant period of time, a man, being a close relationship with a woman, becomes more aware of the manner in which women communicate. Consequently, he’s more aaware of women flirting with him and it seems like it happens more often, but in fact it was always happening and he just didn’t notice.

Hypothesis 2: There isn’t more flirting at all, or there might even be less, but the interested parties are simply more acutely aware of it; to the man, because it seems strange and/or a lost opportunity, and to his SO because they’re all threats.

[B[Hypothesis 3**: Women are simply prone to flirting with men they know are unattainable, because either A) it’s practice without a threat of real rejection or risk, B) men in relationships respond better to women or dress better or whatever the case might be, or C) women subconsciously do it as a way of testing their own desirability and hence superiority over the competition.

25

If you’ve got a faithful, principled man, you have nothing to worry about. Most likely he will, like my husband, find it amusing. But if you’re worried that your soon-to-be will stray into their hands then perhaps you shouldn’t be marrying him.

26

Lisa, you’re point is well taken. Actually, the fact that we’re working for the same company is coincidental. I had left the place where we had both worked for another job ahortly after he did and been fired after one month for having a “negative attitude” which means they disapproved of my showing up for work every day sporting a nicely matched pair of c-cups. I got another job about six weeks later (would have gotten one sooner if I hadn’t gotten jerked around by another prospective employer, who hired me as a craps dealer, then told me they didn’t have any openings in dice and I was going to be dealing blackjack. I’m a lousy blackjack dealer and I wasn’t up for trying to struggle through probation trying to deal a game I’m not good at and don’t enjoy.) But the money really wasn’t good, I basically took it in order to have an income while I kept looking. I actually applied at a lot of places, this is the one that hired me. Also, I had applied here once before, when I didn’t even know both casinos were owned by the same company, and I had talked to him and he advised me, if I was offered this job, to take it over another one that I already had in the bag (that was the one I was fired from).

I don’t really spend all of my time fantasizing about particle. I probably wouldn’t be dating anyone anyway, I hadn’t been out on a date for nearly two years before I met particle (got burned in a bad relationship, and that kind of turned me off for a while, plus in Vegas, it’s really hard to meet nice men.) But I don’t hear from him very often, and I feel like I’ve lost a good friend (something else it’s hard to find in Vegas, this is a very dog-eat-dog, cut 'em off at the knees if they get in your way kind of a town) and I miss talking to him about everything from religion to politics. Also, I know he’s flawed. I’ve gotten pissed off at him more than once. And sometimes he wears suits that I really hate.

I plan to hang around here until I’m eligible to transfer to one of the company’s larger properties, and I absolutely will *not * transfer to the one where he works.

27

Reservoir Dog is a man.

A man that, I’m positive, ALREADY has to beat the women off with a stick.