A different poll for the married among us

In My Humble Opinion
1

Have you ever had someone come on to you, blatantly, knowing you were married?

A few weeks ago, I struck up a conversation with a woman while we were both waiting at the deli counter. I wasn’t being flirtatious – but I’m not shy about talking to people out of the blue. I wear a wedding ring and my hands were certainly visible. So we chatted for a few moments, and then she invited me for a cup of coffee.

I said, light and friendly, “No, thanks; I’ve got to get home – my wife is making dinner and she needs the ham I’m buying.”

And she said, kind of teasingly, “Your wife doesn’t have to know everywhere you go, does she?”

Um…

OK.

I told her that, yes, pretty much, she does, and then found something intensely interesting to look at at the far end of the counter.

I have never before gotten a blatant come-on in the face of an explicit mention of MY WIFE.

Nor did I look like I just stepped off the pages of GQ – end of a long day, five o’clock shadow, loose bow tie, etc, so I doubt she was swept away by my dashing matinee-idol visage.

In short: this happens to me approximately never.

Even when I was single, this - blatant “pick me up, stud” thing - happened to me pretty damn seldom.

In the face of a clear, “Hey, I’m married,” I’m amazed.

So – anyone ever give you the blatant “Never mind the ring, let’s go” come-on?

2

Yes, indeed. Within an hour of meeting my wife. Flattering, in its way, I suppose.

The ever-unhelpful Lady Chance later told me ‘Whoa, she was hot. You should’ve.’

Urgh.

3

Hasn’t exactly happened often, but yeah, a few times. And while most times were more subtle than your example, some were not.

One memorable one was a well-constructed blonde at a Bush-Cheney fundraiser, who said to me, “You’re not going home to your wife tonight.”

I’ve been good. But I suspect that most married men have been solicited in this way at some point. The only time I win beauty pagents is when I play Monopoly.

BTW, Bricker, was she hot?

4

My husband says he’s never been so attractive to the opposite sex than when he wears his wedding ring. Some women have been so blatant as to try to come on to him right in front of me.

It doesn’t happen to be. I’m very stand-offish with a serious demeanor. It doesn’t encourage flirting.

5

What he said. I think some of the come-ons were just for sport, however. The “let’s see if he bites” idea. I don’t think they would have followed through on it, even if I would have. Safer to heavy flirt with someone you know won’t expect the logical conclusion.

6

Maybe for some, but the woman at the fundraiser was dead serious.

I think some women just want sex without hangups, and a married guy would be far more likely to make himself nicely scarce afterwards.

7

Yes, but this guy is a good friend who just has no sense of boundaries and takes every opportunity to cop a feel with any female who has a heartbeat. It’s not serious, it’s not personal and he has no idea that it’s inappropriate.

I mean, this guy has ABSOLUTELY no concept of the idea of personal space, and has to be constantly reminded when his behaviour isn’t acceptable.

It goes without saying that someone like that is no threat to my marriage.

8

I don’t wear a ring. So the most blatant example, I was buying some china as a present for my parents when we lived in Bangkok. The sales woman was being flirty, chatting me up, but this is not uncommon amongst Thai women as a group and generally innocuous. At one point she came out and asked if I was married. I said yes, with no caveats. A little later she said we should go out sometime.

In this case, I’m not flattered as to my looks. What I was buying was expensive, by Thai standards. I was dressed well in an upscale shopping mall. I was simply a mark, in that she’d like to have someone buying her nice things, etc.

9

I have had men come on to me while wearing a wedding ring, but I can’t remember a time when I actually came out and talked about my husband and they continued it. I know my husband gets hit on while wearing his ring, too. Not uncommon.

10

It may have happened more than once, but I require a fairly substantial whack with the Clue Stick before I notice.

I was out of town on business, and attended a dinner hosted by the client. I met a woman at the cocktail party beforehand, we got to talking, and sat together at dinner. She was a rather attractive blonde from Australia (Melbourne, IIRC).

I thought we were just talking, until after I finished my second drink (and she her third) and she invited me up to her hotel room for another drink. :eek:

Regards,
Shodan

PS - No.

11

No Clue Wonder Boy reporting!

Never happened. As far as I know. It’s not that I’m ugly, it’s that I’m so obviously settled that I likely give off some vibe or something.

And I’m sure that I’ve mistaken “friendly chatter” as friendly chatter at times, but for the life of me, I can’t think of a single example. Like I said: in manners like this, I am No Clue Wonder Boy.

12

This happens to me way more often than my husband would like it to.

13

I can’t belive a woman hit on you while you were wearing a bowtie. It must be something about being married.

I also experienced that when I was married. If I sensed that the woman I was talking to was flirting seriously with me, I would show off my ring in an offhand way, like by picking at the cuticle of the finger it was on. Sometimes that didn’t stop it, and neither did mentioning the wife and children.

14

She wasn’t smokin’ hot, but she wasn’t a dog.

She reminded me a bit of Bonnie Hunt, but brunette.

And from the other responses… guess this wasn’t as unusual as I thought.

15

I usually wear bow ties. I’m a bow tie guy.

Probably something about being Republican. :smiley:

16

According to my wife it happens all the time when we’re out shopping or something. Like some of the other guys, I have to be hit over the head and dragged off to the cave. A couple of women have tried to do just that, I think it’s the ring.

17

It happens to me alot. But, it happens to my husband all the time. Even if they don’t verbaly come on to him, he gets boobies flashed at him. I blame his job paraphenalia. At his main job he wears a uniform and badge. And his weekend job, where he gets the boobies, he wears a gun.

Just yesterday, we had to go to a school meeting. He was going into work after the meeting so he was wearing his uniform. We were sitting across the table from the school counselor. If she had thrusted her boobs forward one more inch, she was going to break her back. And she giggled at everything he said.

18

I do not have a good eye for the obvious. A few times my wife has commented that some woman was ‘totally checking you out!’ My witty reply is generally ‘huh?’

The only time I knew that someone was expressing approval re: my looks was when I was working in DC. I was walking down the street in my business get up (regular tie, no bowtie for me, thankyouverymuch), when a old homeless woman on the curb looked at me and went ‘Mm, m-m-m-M!’ I didn’t know whether to be flattered or frightened.

So if someone’s deliberately tried to pick me up, whether they were being blatant or coy, I probably missed it anyways.

19

It happened to me last night. Office Christmas party, new girl, coincidently the one I’ve been training all week. She’s young, blonde and cute. We had an open bar and a private room at a local bistro, about 50 of us there. She must have had 10 shots, 4 urns of beer and 2 martinis. Tried to drag me off into the corner, tried to kiss me and tried to get me to come home with her.

Ugh.

I blame the booze. I’m no Matinee’ idol either, unless it’s Leslie Banks (on left)

20

My wife says the same thing to me.
The last time there was an attempt to drag me off to the cave, I was sitting between the woman and her husband on a couch with my wife across from me. The woman was an aquaintence and quite toasted so I (and Mrs. Prefect) hold nothing against her. But she grabbed my face, kissed my cheek and whispered, “I want to fuck you!” Only she was really toasted, so her “whisper” was audible enough for her husband to hear. Talk about awkward! I think we both choked in our cups, she was oblivious :slight_smile:

We still end up at the same parties now and again and things are cool. Not cool enough to bring that story up for laughs but I think we are getting there.