True. Repeatedly.
TND has pet fish.
False. No pets.
TND got an F in at least one college course.
False
TND collects dust bunnies.
False. I permit them to live and reproduce in their natural environment under the bed.
TND wears bifocals.
False. Not yet.
TND keeps a running list of all the books he/she reads.
Pretty much true.
TND cannot find a way to make their reply to this post witty. 
True, alas. I kept asking myself, “How would Oscar Wilde answer it?” and came up blank. It’s late.
The next Doper knows at least three witty quotations by Oscar Wilde.
“Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.”
“Heterosexuality is where the woman keeps trying to come, and fails, and the man keeps trying not to come, and fails”
“Your majesty is like a stream of Bat’s Piss”.
Uhhhh. False. That last one was Shelly’s.
The next Doper has learned to diaper baby boys quickly, especially if the room is cold.
Well, yeah- I had three of 'em.
TND went to an Ivy League university.
False. Roll Tide!
TND has one or more graduate degrees.
False, but I am drunk as shit. That’s gotta count for something.
TND has not had any alcohol in the last 48 hours.
True. It’s been a lot longer than that, even.
TND still pays bills with checks and envelopes and postage stamps.
Hell no. Online or over the phone. I haven’t even owned a book of paper checks in probably six or seven years.
TND is married.
False, thank Og.
TND keeps a pen tucked behind his/her ear.
False- I own a ton of drug-rep pens, yet never stick them behind my ear.
TND has fought cancer and won.
False. I’ve never been diagnosed with cancer.
TND has ridden in an automobile manufactured before 1960.
True. I have a vague childhood memory of having been taken for a ride in a Stutz Bearcat or other antique car.
(Sonoran Lizard King: My favorite Wilde-ism is when he came to the U.S. for a lecture tour and was asked by the customs officer if he had anything to declare. “Only my genius!” was his reply).
The next Doper knows for sure whether or not Walt Disney was turned into a giant Popsicle.
True, it’s false.
TND has eaten part of a cow in the last 48 hours.
SSG Schwartz
Hell, between two barbecues, I feel as if I’ve eaten the better part of a cow within the last 48 hours. urp
TND has been on a cruise ship.
False.
TND, like me, is in a bad mood. :mad: