Does anyone have any stories of smiting the deserving that they would like to share?
I request that they be kept in anectdote rather than rant form, and that you remember the word deserving. OTOH, if it’s a really juicy story…
I knew a young lady who was asked to the prom well in advance. She went to some expense in preparation. About a week before the prom, her date called and changed the plans. He even bragged that he was taking someone else.
On the day of the prom, the butthold went to pick up his tux only to find that it had been cancelled by the girl that he had jilted. Ahhhhhh! I love happy endings!
I had a friend named Rob in high school, and I knew another guy named Mike who was really out of his mind. I got along reasonably well with Mike (about as well as you can get along with an insane person!), but Mike was always mad at Rob for some reason.
One day, Mike found out that Rob had stopped locking up his '90 Lumina when he parked in the student lot, because he kept locking the keys in it. So, Mike took a plastic trash bag and filled it with all the junk in his locker. He hauled it outside, added a liberal helping of tin cans and other garbage, and emptied the mess into the front seat of Rob’s Chevy.
The problem was that, in his excitement, Mike didn’t bother to sort through the mess and see whether he actually needed any of the stuff he pulled out of his locker. I realize that this sounds questionable because any normal person would not make that mistake, but this guy was just not all there.
So, it turned out that he had inadvertantly dumped all the notes for his independent study on the Vietnam War into Rob’s car. Rob found the mess in the car that afternoon, saw Mike’s name on the papers, moved it all into an empty parking spot, and set it on fire. Once the notes had been sufficiently charred, he took a few of the half-burned pages and left them on Mike’s independent study advisor’s desk. She already hated Mike for a variety of reasons, so she was pretty amused to find out what had happened.
He failed the independent study.
-Andrew L
Long ago, when my wife was pregnant, we went to the county fair because she had some friends doing a performance there. We were directed to park in an area that was full of trucks and animal trailers, and we were nose to nose with another vehicle.
When we got back to the car after the performance, some moron had parked his pickup behind us, blocking us in. I was pissed. Fortunately, the truck was old, so it had mushroom door locks, vent windows, and a stick shift. I hunted down an old wire, made a hook, and unlocked the door. Then, I got the truck out of gear, and pushed it out of the way while Vunderwife got the car out. Thinking about it a little more, I kept pushing until the truck completely blocked the aisle, put it back in gear and set the parking brake, turned on everything electrical I could find including the head and dome lights, and locked the doors.
We were hoping the battery was dead before the truck’s owner got back…
When my a**hole partner took off with the money and equipment from our business I sought ways for revenge.
It was mentioned by my other partner that he didn’t pay his child support, so we reported him to the support enforcement types, who put his ass in jail.
Granted, I didn’t get my money back, but it felt good to have him in jail for something.