Lol thanks…speaking of sex, I also thought that all it really took for a woman to become pregnant was for her and a man to sleep together in the same bed.
I didn’t know, until I just read this comment of yours, that coffee cake isn’t coffee-flavored.
Ignorance fought!
There’s a sign on my street about 10 feet before my house that says “hump ahead”.
Indeed 
Or “Dip in Road”.
Mmmm… Dip.
:eek::eek::eek:
Eccch! But it would keep you awake!:D:eek:
Or this meaning of “dip”.
You have made me feel sooooo much better!
At Christmas Eve dinner, my cousin, talking about another (not present) cousin:
“Whatever you do, don’t ask him about his boxers.”
<Dead silence as everyone at the table tries to work out why not.>
"…I mean his DOGS! He was a couple of boxer dogs that he never shuts up about!’
I grew up in a VERY Catholic household - my dad was in a Jesuit seminary for a bit until he decided he wasn’t meant to be a priest, and he left and joined the Marines… but I digress.
When it came time for Mom to have The Talk with me, it was primarily about how to deal with periods and how I shouldn’t be thinking about dating or boys till high school. Absolutely zero information on sex, and only being told that “babies are a gift from God.”
Needless to say, I was very confused when I heard about unmarried girls getting pregnant. Why would God give a baby to someone who wasn’t married??? 
I was embarrassingly too old when I found out how it really works. But my daughter had the facts when she needed them, without the dancing around that my mom used with me.
My daughter is now a middle school science teacher, and her last 2 weeks every school year are for 7th grade sex education. She’s a brave young woman.
“Beware of Balls”, located outside of either a driving range or a tennis court, I forget which, at Tama Hills in Japan. I figured it out after a moment, but on first glance I parsed it pretty much how anyone who knows me would expect me to.
I would say you were correct on that one, that sentence is horribly constructed.
These appear to be fairly old, but some are hysterical. My favorite might be “British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands”.
From another MPSIMS thread title: “How do Sihs wind their turbans?”
This says more about me than the title, certainly, but I parsed it as “How do Sith wind their turbines?”
So not only was it not what was actually written, but it didn’t even make any grammatical sense, which is why I re-read it. In my defense, the title seems to have a typo.
When I was a little girl I heard a joke and told it to my dad ,he would dies laughing each time . " What did Popeye do when he burnt his thumb? He put it in
Olive Oyl ! " I got the joke when I was older. LOL! The funny thing is that I am hard of hearing so I guess I must had read the person lips and they didn’t realize I was able to do this .
[quote=“Carryon, post:51, topic:775746”]
I would say you were correct on that one, that sentence is horribly constructed.[/QUOTE
Yes, I agree. I find that happpens frequently with a headline. I saw something not too long ago that started off with, “the Queen’s death…” I thought Elizabeth II had died. The article was just about the taking over of the throne after the fact not the fact that she had indeed died.
They have those signs all down the road where we go to the lake every summer. I always make the joke “If they’re ‘slow’, they really should have someone watching them, not just letting them run around in the street”
Doesn’t help that the pictogram of a running child on the sign is wearing a winter hat and shorts. Slow indeed to dress that way.
There was one in my grandparents old neighborhood, but it was less misinterpretable, more like a simple “DEAF CHILD IN AREA”. If that kid’s still around he/she must be in his 40’s by now.
Never heard of a ballistic knife? Ah, the things you learn reading Punisher comics!
On a recent trip to the grocery store I made a purchase, the packaging of which I momentarily mis-read and will now and forevermore deliberately misinterpret for the humor value:
8 WHITE HOT DOG BUNS
Careful! Don’t touch them!
Thread titled “The Ultimate Fate of Conic Sections”; every time I read it as “Comic Sections”. Of course I don’t know what Conic Sections are so my mind is just trying to make it make sense to me. But I want to be seated in the Comic Section.
Sex actually is a misdemeanor. De more I miss, de meaner I get.