Because there can never be too many simultaneous threads with a sexual theme!
At a girls’ night out last week, a conversation started about who is the sexual initiator most of the time in my friends’ relationships. I guess I am just naive, but I had no idea this was such an issue! My questions are, my friends: do YOU find yourself initiating sex more often than your spouse/SO/bf/gf/partner/acquaintance does it; if so, does that annoy you (and why); how do you let her/him know it annoys you; and have you done anything to make it a more equitable arrangement? Or, like me, is this something of a non-issue for you?
Most of my friends at this get-together (so unfortunately, all females) seemed actually put out to be expected to initiate sex. They are all younger than I am, ranging in age from 35-ish to 40-ish. They seemed to feel that it was expected of them to be the initiator, if they wanted it. For some reason, it made them feel less sexy if they had to be the one starting the sex disproportionately (more than half the time). OTOH, when asking my b/f about this, he indicated it was a HUGE issue in his ex-marriage, where his then-wife felt that he was “pushing sex” on her if he initiated all the time, to the point where he became almost afraid to initiate. I’d honestly never noticed that I do seem to be the initiator quite a lot. It bothers me not at all!
How about you?