RO: LA elementary school teacher charged with committing lewd acts with 23 boys & girls ages 7 to 10

I laughed.

Isn’t this school in Florencia 13’s territory? Was this guy diddling some of their little sisters? If so, he may not make it to trial. I’m not even sure he’s safe in jail. We’ll see.

I always forget the spoons because we mostly use tortillas. It is harder to score points with tortillas.

Chocolate chip nut cookies.

lol sexual abuse of children is so hilarious. lol.

Well now, we don’t yet know what political affiliation this teacher had, so we can’t yet determine whether he’s a scumbag, or a flawed but noble human being victimised by shrill liberals.

Probably the poor guy lost clarity because another the end of the world is coming soon, again.

Was it his semen, or was it donkey semen? Maybe he’s just a huge Fear Factor fan.

If only for today, you are my hero.

Well, it looks like SA isn’t going to show up so I’ll give it a whirl:

The clear white liquid is, potentially, a powdered sugar & water mixture used as a frosting/glaze. I make it myself and top fruit pies and oatmeal cookies with it–it’s a fantastic way to amp up the yum-factor on some desserts. Sometimes I like to mix a little vanilla into the frosting. Kids, however, can be quite finicky and it’s very disappointing when they respond to a treat with ambivalence. So it makes sense to have them test taste the frosting before committing to glazing the batch of cookies you’re planning on giving to the class when they get in from recess.

And why give them all cookies? Well, we all know teachers today need higher degrees in order to remain competetive. Because of his job and constant exposure to underprivileged children, he surely saw them under constant threat of gang recruitment and was horrified by their potential future as pawns in the border wars fought by the drug lords. To bring public awareness to the dire future of these children, he was writing his doctoral thesis on the plight of the children in a soceity that chooses to perpetuate a senseless war on drugs at the ultimate expense of the children–children whose fates are to wind up bound, gagged and dead in some nameless corner of a desert, children who will ultimately feed only cockroaches, not their own families. He was thinking of the children. The cookies were payment for helping him in the production of his thesis.

But if everyone wants to take the easy road and just decide he was a perv, well then I guess that’s just the world we deserve. As for the jizz on the plastic spoon? Shit, product tampering on Chinese exports is nothing new. Was there a report that actually said it was HIS jizz?

I encourage an experiment. Bake up a batch of cookies, then try to anoint them using a paper towel roll through which you express your emissions, and you will find that it’s physically impossible given the height of the counter. Therefore, the liberal witch hunters are completely wrong in these baseless allegations.

Go look up “black comedy” and report back.

Oh, and if Google says

Did you mean: black “comedy”

And suggests a hit to Madea’s Big Happy Family, that’s not it.

I don’t feel good today. Now you’ve gone and made me laugh. I think I’m mad at you, but I’m also impressed.

It must have taken a while to get it tested.

Maybe they had some trouble getting a hold of the testee.

An article I read somewhere (sorry, no link) mentioned that the cops persuaded him to give a DNA sample a couple of months ago.

My apologies. I hadn’t considered there might be arthropods reading this. :smack:

It’s possible my puns aren’t as obvious as I think they are.

At least he finally got the sack.

How’s that, Jack?

You guys are nuts.

Plus, the Sheriff needed time to come up with his press conference ice-breaker.

“What’s young and full of semen?”
*
<uncomprehending stares>
*
“YOUR KID’S MOUTH!”

Awww damn. Not this fuckhead again. /facepalm