I am not a very “romantic” type of guy. When talking or asking about things I am pretty straight forward and blunt. This has caused my wife a little frustration over the years. Goes the other way as well, if you’re not pretty obvious about something I sometimes miss it. A number of times I have missed my wifes subtle hints about sex. A couple days later is one of those “doh” moments when it hits me. My wife recently told me she wished I could be a little more romantic when trying to initiate things. I come to you the great SDMB for how you romantically request sexual favors from your SO.
Foreplay begins at breakfast.
I don’t know, if I tried to diddle my wife at 7:00 am I’d either get laughed at or smacked.
I am in complete agreement.
I need help in that verbal play, I am at a complete disadvantage. I just don’t know how or what to say to be “romantic”. I need tips and suggestions.
Tell her what you love about her. One thing I love about my boyfriend is that he’s never shy about complimenting my various body parts. 
I’m my experience, “initiate sex more romantically” means “clean the house.”
Quite honestly my wife and I have a fantastic sex life and she tends to credit it to me being what she calls “romantic”. I agree with the above poster who said it begins at the breakfast table. It is what you do during the day,week and month that sets the mood in my opinion. For me it is always trying to be aware and do little things. The little things seem to be so much more important, at least to my wife. Off the top of my head, here are some things I do on a frequent and not so frequent basis that she seems to love:
Frequent: Once or twice a month I will purchase some flowers for her. Nothing expensive, usually a bunch from the local grocery store. I always try to see that she has fresh flowers in her vase on the the table. She really seems to appreciate this.
Frequent: I attempt to make dinner for us and the kids as often as possible. So that when she gets home from work she can do nothing but rest.
Frequent: I make the bed everyday. Seems like a small thing, but her ex-husband never did and it was something she wished was done. I suck at it, but try my best everyday.
Frequent: We have been together for 3 years now and she hasn’t touched a dirty dish in that time. I found out early that she hates doing dishes, so I have taken it upon myself to make sure that I always take care of it.
Frequent: I visit her quite often at work for a “lunch date”. Nothing fancy, but take the time to say hello and spend an hour with her. Not everyone can do this, but it seems to be a very big deal for her.
Frequent: Open the car door and doors in general. Old fashion yes, but I do it out of respect.
Not so frequent: The other day I brought her a single carnation (her favorite) in a vase to her work. She is a teacher. Her boss let me in her office and I put the vase on her desk and surrounded it with rose pedals. Really not my thing, but the smile on her face lasted days.
Not so frequent: Every now and then when I know she has had a tough day I will draw her a nice hot bubble bath without her knowing. Then go get her, light a candle and let her enjoy. I will leave her be and take care of the kids. Just so she can have a bit of alone time.
Anyways, those are some of the things I do. Not one of them is really a big deal but they seem to mean so much. I am very sincere when I do these, I don’t do them because I think that it will make me look good, I do it to make her smile. I truly believe that she knows it’s from the heart and that is what makes them so special. Oh and I also tell her every single day that I love her and that she is the most beautiful girl in the world!
So what you’re saying is, housework is foreplay? 
My husband the irrepressible romantic - “I love you until further notice.”
obbn, those are all great things because it shows that you’re thinking about her and not taking her for granted. That might be one of a lot of women’s biggest complaints - being taken for granted. Nobody likes feeling like everything they do is not noticed or appreciated.
Your wife may or may not appreciate this, FallFast, but getting her a small gift for no reason other than you were thinking about her is fairly romantic.
And yes, housework can be foreplay, especially for women who are trying to do it all and are so tired every night that all they can do is fall into bed.
Romantic things my husband does: asks me if I want a coffee, does the washing up (most of the housework, actually, since I work full time and he’s part time), says “I love you” frequently. Little things - no big cliche romantic gestures (the day he stands outside a window with a boombox is the day I know for sure that the pod people have landed), but little things that let me know he’s thinking of me.
I like that… hourly confirmation can get unbearable.
These are some great suggestions. I appreciate the responses. A lot of these I already do, I just think now they have become taken for granted that I will just do this stuff. I need to do a lot more of the small spontaneous things that I am saying I love you.
What are some of those things you actually say? I like “I love you until further notice.”. When you are one on one with you SO what are those little things you say that are romantic?
One of the cute things that gets said at our house is “I love you and not just because I’m legally required to do so.”
Also, my husband is big on little gifts for not so important holidays. Like a liberty themed headband for Fourth of July or a bunny Pez for Easter. I think that’s romantic.
obbn has the right idea (do you have a clone you could send my way?).
I always appreciated hearing thank yous and ‘that was delicious’ or what have you.
Also, a hug and a kiss just because, taking her hand, stroking her hair or a caress of the cheek. Not the sort that is foreplay necessarily, simply a demonstration of appreciation.
My last/sort of current (it’s complicated) boyfriend will come over and just be near me, casually cuddling. It’s so nice to know he simply likes being near me. Too many guys think it’s macho to hold themselves away or clamp on to display possession.
And don’t forget laughter! Being silly or finding the funny side of things is endearing and lightens the heart.
Like any other human encounters,
it’s in your facial expression that you can’t continuously monitor,
it’s in your body language that you are not aware of,
it’s in the subtle tones of your voice,
and it’s in your rational for everything.
What about in jokes between the two of you? My husband and I tried to use traditional wedding vows for our wedding, but we think our officiant used the Province of Alberta legal vows instead, but we weren’t exactly sure what she was saying, so it’s has become a joke between the two of us that we pretend we vowed to all kinds of silly things (“I’m pretty sure you vowed to rub my feet every night!”).
Do you want romance or do you want more fun/passionate ways to initiate sex? These are not always the same.
My husband and I do romantic things for one another all the time. A few weeks ago he surprised me with front row tickets to a show I’d wanted to see for almost a year. I occasionally give him a foot massage before bed without his having to ask for one. We tell each other with some regularity how happy we are to be together and how much we love one another. Romantic dinners and evenings out are a normal thing in our house. Though these things can sometimes lead to sex they are things we would do even if we never had sex again.
We also do sexy things. Whenever one of us wakes up before the alarm clock goes off we will make a point of waking the other with sexy fun time. Occasionally after work if I get home first I’ll light some candles, put on some lingerie and jump him when he comes through the door. Sometimes he’ll wait until I’m in the shower and climb in with me for a while.
The romantic stuff says, “You make me happy in my soul. I’m so glad you’re my spouse!” The sexy stuff says, “You make me happy in my nether bits. Here, let me show you!” Both are equally important things you should communicate to your spouse with some regularity.
For some of us women men doing house work is considered foreplay so obbn has got it going on.
Things my hubby does that is romantic and makes me feel loved: randomly giving me flowers, weekend pancake breakfast, letting me sleep in, surprising me by buying me my fav food items from specific places I love, feet rubs, back rubs etc. not necessarily as part of sexual foreplay but it still feels good. Every now and then, he’ll also write some mushy/dorky poems and send them to me. I love that. Even when we are out in public, he always makes sure he has some sort of physical contact with me: holding my hand, rubbing my back gently (since I am pregnant I appreciate this more), kisses and just things that remind me that he cares about his woman. Most of them may seem cliche and stereotypical but I still love all the small gestures and they do eventually lead to good satisfying bedroom moments. He’s also pretty open and direct when he’s in the mood and he appreciates my body and comments about how sexy I am to him often, which is a huge turn on for me. Good luck!
pbbth When I created this post I was thinking more along the lines of romance, but sex initiation is always a good thing. Been married over 21 years now, been with her for 7 years prior to that. I want to keep things interesting and be that romantic. It is something that I have to conscientiously think about doing. You guys are giving me some great ideas. Now to put those into action.
I think it’s great that after 28 years, you still WANT to do these things. You say you’re a blunt, direct guy, but you’re also a guy - do you think nice things about your wife, but not actually say them out loud to her? You can be blunt and direct about that, too - “I’m glad I married you,” or, “You look really nice tonight.”
It occurred to me a few years ago that it costs me absolutely nothing to say nice things to other people, and it is almost always received well. Who doesn’t want to hear a nice thing about themselves?