Uh…yeah, I got that. It was in the OP and everything. That doesn’t change my advice – I think a good person has to sometimes think beyond themselves.
I suppose I qualify as a professional remodeler in that I have been on crews that have remodeled several kitchens and have been paid for it. Mostly what I did was demo/cabinet installation but I have worked with the other trades as well. Here is what I have learned:
*It’s going to take longer then you think.
It will be completely disruptive to your routine, if said routine occurs during the working hours.
It will be impossible to have any moments of quiet reflection.
During the day there will be trash/tools/supplies everywhere.*
I wouldn’t plan on getting anything done while the workmen are there, especially in the limited space described in the OP.
I guess what I dont understand is why only she has to ‘think beyond themselves’.
The other guy isnt trying to think about her needs much from what I can see. A one bedroom apartment with major remodelling isnt going to be much fun.
I suspect foodie stacking in the poll.
Otara
This is all true, but the time to bring up his apartment must-haves was before he signed the lease. He agree to live in this apartment as-is. If the OP knew there would be 1-3 weeks of renovation then maybe she wouldn’t have moved it.
But yeah, there’s nothing wrong with him wanting a real kitchen. It’s just too bad he didn’t figure it out before he signed the lease.
Dogzilla, who tore out your drywall today? :dubious:
To be honest, I didn’t even vote in the poll. I wasn’t commenting so much on whether it was reasonable for him to want the work to be done during even sven’s at-home time as I was saying it’s not really fair to get all Judgey McSnootypants over what another person wants and needs for their living space. It doesn’t help the “I am being a reasonable person” argument to cast aspersions on what another person values as his or her creature comforts.
Just don’t shower around the workmen
And correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought **even sven **taught classes in China? What’s this about being in DC?
You’re not being unreasonable in the least. When you got the place, you agreed to the kitchen you had. He doesn’t like it? Well, then he should’ve come with to look for places like you said. And from what you’ve said–if walls need to be ripped up and such–it sounds like it might be longer than 1-2 weeks.
Back when I was a freshman in college, I posted here about some problems with my roommate, and Fenris said something I’ll never forget; absent external forces, the most restrictive roommate wins. So, in this case, the person who doesn’t want workers traipsing around all day when they’re trying to sleep wins. That’d be you. He can wait two months. Hobbies are not as important as school/work in the great continuum of roommate fights and priorities.
How about this- would it be worth it to you if the landlord compensates you guys for the time you are without a kitchen and inconvenienced? Maybe takes a chunk out of your rent? How much makes it worth it to you?
Tell the landlord that.
Like I said I do agree with this. But she can be reasonable in her request to hold off on renovations until Christmas and still be unreasonably judgey about his habits/hobbies.
I guess the take-away point is that in discussing it with the roommate, it would be better to say stuff like “I totally understand why you want this but I didn’t agree to it”. vs. “We don’t need an oven.” I believe that in roommate situations you can bring up whatever weirdo requests you want so long as you do it before anyone signs the lease.
I was with you until you mentioned a dishwasher. I’d kill for a dishwasher, but there’s no room in our kitchen.
YogSosoth, she’s back in the States now.
I think you are being pretty generous in offering to do it over winter break. From what it sounds like, your landlords are installing a kitchen into an apartment while they aren’t using it so it is ready for them when they are. How convenient for them. If you end up having the kitchen put in, I would try to make a deal with the landlord (in writing, if this is actually possible, IANAL) that you can break the lease or discount rent for each day over x days the project lasts. If the project doesn’t bother him, he might drag it out forever.
Realistically, if the landlord is “still in the planning stage”, how likely is it to be before winter break anyway? Don’t these things generally take a bit of time to think about and plan and organize? It seems to me that the difference between “lets get this done as quick as possible” and “lets do it in the winter break” is likely to be no more than a couple of weeks. In which case, it seems pretty unreasonable for the roommate to get too het up about the wait.
I believe I’m benig influenced here by the “fight about buying more nice kitchen stuff” bit of the OP. In my world, this conversation goes like this:
Roommate: “Hey, I’d really like to get item X for the house. Would you like to halves?”
sven: No, I don’t think I really want/need that.
Roommate: Oh. OK.
The thought that Roommate gets pissy at that point makes him seem fairly jerkish.
I don’t think you are being unreasonable in wanting this not to disrupt your schedule.
When I was in grad school my apartment had no microwave, no dishwasher, no toaster oven, and a small sink. And I wouldn’t have been willing to disrupt my schedule to improve any of those things.
I do think you are being unreasonable, however, when you talk about what “we need.” You only know what you need. Having said that, your roommate agreed to this apartment with the original kitchen, so if it turns out that it doesn’t have what they need that is their fault.
Conclusion: As a kind human being, you should be willing to accept some minimal disruption for the benefit of your roommate. If the work can be done quickly, or when you aren’t home, or put off to a break, then great. But if it is going to completely disrupt your sleep, your work, and your comfort for 2 weeks, then it isn’t right.
It has been quite a few years since I had roommates, but we never bought anything in common other than beer. We would share some cooking utensils, but overall if somebody wanted some nice cookware, off they went to the store, the rest of us wouldn’t have chipped in nor would it have been expected.
I think you’re barking up the wrong tree, myself.
It sounds like the train is already rolling. The landlord wants this, has the money, the room mate is enthusiastic, oh, it’s happening alright. I understand why you find it an imposition, you’re not wrong.
I would do a few things. First, I’d remind the room mate, repeatedly, that better digs may have been arranged had they been willing to shorten his holiday. Having failed to do so, he needs to grow up and accept a less than ideal set up. Period.
Next, I’d press, both the landlord and the room mate, for some help locating a nearby room where you can escape from the noise and distraction to study, sleep, focus. He’s a landlord, perhaps he has a suitable space? Maybe roomie knows someone with an extra room? Invest a little time and energy in making it fit your requirements, a sleeping mat, a reading light, a desk, a blanket, whatever. This seems like a better investment, of time and energy, than getting bent over something that is definitely going to happen, regardless.
Why not be proactive and find your own solution? I’d bet all you need do is make some inquiries.
My BF. Sorry to take it out on the OP.
Yes, your roommate is an asshole, and I can understand not wanting to accommodate him - who wants to be nice to a jackass? But at the same time, I’m guessing your landlord is trying to increase the value of their property, possibly to charge the next occupant higher rent. You and your roommate (to whom this is obviously important) stand only to gain from that.
And I agree that your priorities are obviously very, very different. It would piss me off very much for someone else to decide for me what we need. It’d tick me off even further when I was being offered what I really wanted for free with no change to my rent (kitchens are damned expensive to rennovate and this change will probably make your apartment much, much nicer), but my roommate decided for me that we didn’t need it and therefore refused it. Yes, I think your roommate should compromise with you. But compromise means that you have to give a little, too.
Without the snarkiness (thanks :rolleyes:) this is kind of what I came here to see. I know I’m not getting a long with my roommate and that probably did influence my gut reaction. Before I start thinking about what I am going to ask for, I wanted to get some outside perspective on if it seems like a reasonable response or if I am being needlessly bitchy. Obviously I feel like I have a valid position, but wanted to see if that holds up to examination. Believe it or not, I actually started this thread so I could be less of a self-centered little princess.
As for what we "need,’ he keeps telling me things like “We need a whisk.” No. You want a whisk. I’m not interested in buying any additional kitchenware We bought the bare minimum together, but I’m fine with the bare minimum and I resent him trying to make me responsible for his luxuries. I already go stuck with half the bill for a magnetic thing to hang your knife on…why would you need this in a short-term rental? Why would he think it’s okay to ask me to pay for it? Again, he can buy whatever he wants if he doesn’t make it my problem. Once he is done with the obligations set out in our lease, he can pay whatever rent he likes for whatever sort of place he wants.
Our kitchen is adequate for everyday small-to-mid scale cooking- he can make casseroles, cookies, etc. Our toaster oven is one of those nice, very large convection ones that gets billed as a “countertop oven.” Our kitchen is suitable for everyday food preparation and does not hinder ordinary cooking tasks. He got a full rundown, saw pictures, etc. before he signed the lease. I think he feels resentful of me because I didn’t find us a place with a better kitchen, but I feel like it’s not my fault. He was inflexible on what area we live in, and student-priced apartments in this area are going to have at least one big flaw. It’s not my fault that your tastes outlive your budget.
I came down solidly on your roommate’s side on the kitchen issue, but here he’s completely out of line. He shouldn’t be asking you to pay for a single dish or cooking utensil beyond the most basic necessities. That’s like Roommate 101: you each bring whatever you want to the common areas, and leave with what you brought. As soon as you start buying everything together, you have the always unpleasant task of deciding who gets what when you move out. Ugh.
That said, I don’t think your irritation over this should color your judgment on the kitchen remodel. Him being unreasonable in the past doesn’t justify you to be unreasonable now, and making decisions based on past grievances is a recipe for a horrible year together.