Sorry, have to do this:
Its “eat, Papa, eat”.
I’m done now.
Okay, back to our regularly scheduled question.
The unfortunate fact is that the Doll’s problem/fault was never discussed. In fact,she’ guilty by association–she’s on the Island of Misfit Toys, therefore she’s a misfit.
The only misfit toys that were described were the Charlie in the box, the bird that swam instead of flying, a train with square wheels, a squirt gun that shot jelly instead of water, a boat that couldn’t float, a cowboy riding an ostrich, and an elephant with spots.
According to the script, the misfits elf’s name was HERMIE. This also suggests another reason why he’s a misfit–he’s the only Jewish elf.
You know, Christmas is becoming the most enigmatic of all holidays, what with unanswered questions about Scrooge’s job, the cause of the Star of Bethlehem, the meaning of the 12 Days of Christmas, and all the questions raised about that twisted TV special, “Rudolph.”
Actually, I’ve always liked this show **because[b/] Santa is portrayed as petty, ignorant, and flawed – in other words, a real human, and not some sickly sweet saint.
As for other contemporary references, the Chief Elf quotes Charlie Brown (“Good grief!”) and Lawrence Welk (“Ah one-a and a two-a”).
Of course, the entire show is a thinly veiled reference to the Civil Rights movement…
Does anyone else think the misfit toys have a good case for discrimination against Santa Claus?
I mean, in other scenarios involving Mr. S. Claus and his Christmas Eve flight, it has him landing on or near the house, doing the chimney and placing the toys in stockings, under trees, etc.
But then you get to the Misfit Toys and things change! They are given an unbrella, a boot on the rump and they are gone! The fat bastard does not even slow the sleigh down. He probably learn that from his Mafioso connections. Not to mention the fact that numerous people have ON TAPE one of his henchmen chucking that poor, flightless bird over the sleigh to plumet to an early, gruesome death. Does anyone else smell organized crime here?!?
That elf-lover should be doing hard time in Marion.
Hey its like this:
If you don’t see the bird hit,
You must acquit!
I made up a song parody when very young for
the Elves song:
We are Santa’s Elves
We are Santa’s Elves
Burning, Raping, Looting, and Maiming
We are Santa’s Elves!
Ok, I had a violent childhood!
And then there was Rudolph the Brown-Nosed
Reindeer.
“Ho…ho…ho”
“The Federal Aviation Administration
has pulled my airworthiness certificate
because I lack a proper strobe device
for use in low visibility…I need your
help Rudolph!”
The doll’s problem (besides the fact that she’s running around in the snow wearing a sundress) is her hair. Look at her! Some eediot sewed the ribbons at the bottom of her pigtails instead of the top! Poor thing looks like a freak. Her hair splits into two parts for no apparent reason.
As for why Yukon doesn’t shoot the Bumble: a pistol of that caliber would probably only make him mad…
Does Santa’s wife strike anyone else as a Yenta? I never really imagined that the icon for the major Christian holiday would have a Jewish wife.
Of course she could be an East Coaster of other Mediterrian extraction and I shouldn’t sterotype.
Hmmm…now that I think of it, isn’t Rudolph’s friend, Fireball, the only reindeer with hair on his head? To make matters worse, I think it was bright yellow hair! Why didn’t the other reindeer tease HIM? When Fireball freaked out at Rudolph’s nose, Rudolph shoulda let him have it about his stupid bleached hair.
Even if some of the other reindeer have hair, I don’t think a red nose is any sillier. I’ll have to watch it again to make sure.
Re: Fireball’s reaction to Rudolph’s nose. Okay, so it’s a bit unusual to see someone’s nose light up. That doesn’t explain Fireball’s reaction, who acts as if Rudolph’s face just peeled off and the skull burst into flames. Was he dropping acid or something?
As to Santa having “human foilables”, baloney! This is obviously an old, disgruntled Santa, burned out by years of reading whiny letters from Sally Brown and Lucy van Pelt. Nagged to death by a yenta of a wife, he sublimates his rage by ruling his minions with an iron fist, and ejects anyone who disagrees with his idea of perfection. Only when his life is at risk (it’s too foggy to fly) does he stoop to asking for the mutant reindeer’s help. And now, thanks to the misfit toys, he can get revenge on the screaming pre-pubers, giving them defective toys instead of what they ask for. That’s why he’s so happy at the end–“Screw you, kids! Don’t try to stand out!”
Bitter? Oh, just a tad.
Because Rudolph’s ailment is ten times freakier than Firball’s. I mean come on, a thatch of hair versus a nose that lights up. I’ve already let it be known what I think of that mutant, Rudolph here: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=25547
Re: Donner vs. Donder
Check out the article on this at http://www.snopes2.com/holidays/xmas/donner.htm
It explains the whole sordid mess.
Kids had this on when I got home. After I popped the frozen zas in the oven (abomination my a$$!) I went downstairs to see the end.
No question but the elf shoves the bird with his right arm. My kids weren’t too worried, tho. The unanimously immediately responded, just because he (they knew it’s gender as well) can’t fly, doesn’t mean he can’t glide.
They also weren’t too worried about the doll’s psychological problems. Agreed her misfit status had something to do with her crying all the time.
They also thought a jelly gun would be neat.
Just wanted to feed you the fruit of my research!
Sorry to catch on late, but the name of the dentist elf is indeed Hermie. You can imagine my delight, when, at the tender age of eight, my older cousin Roy explained to me that “Hermies” have both boy and girl parts, thus rendering me incapable of truly enjoying a childhood classic until I figured out what boy and girl “parts” are.
Also, the Misfit doll was a misfit because she was always sad - chique was right about that one. She was my favorite - I had her doll. Psychological questions nonwithstanding, she as also really weird looking. I’m sure all the normal little girls teased her until she sought refuge with the other freaks.
Damn kids. No wonder I loved that doll so much.
One last comment: The elf totally pushed him! I specifically recall asking my mom if the bird learned to fly, or did the elf push him. She told me that the elf taught him to fly, or some parental bullshit like that.
I have the movie on tape, and I used to watch it year-round. Much better than any Christmas tripe that Disney pushed out.
Don’t even get me started on “A Christmas Story.” I have so many unanswered questions about that movie.
DUDE!
Your sinister MST3King of “Rudolph” (see page one of this thread, folks) had me laughing out loud IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS LIBRARY! Do you know how hard it is to stiffle “I’m-reeady-to-cry” laughter?!?!!
And other folks have me choking back my chuckles too - DAMN IT ALL!
Must Leave Library,
Patty
Misfit dusted the bird. She’s got BPD, a real tweaker. She needed 500 milligrams Cogentin PRN.
Y’all are missing the entire point. The story is about man’s (in this case reindeer’s and elf’s) struggle against a discriminatory and oppressive society.
What kind of story would it be if Donner had encouraged his fawn and fought for his right to be included, and if Santa had immediately seen the intrinsic usefulness of Rudolph’s unique feature?
If this were produced today, NPSS (North Pole Social Services) would have cited Donner for child neglect and Rudolph would have been removed from a loving but somewhat socially backwards home and been placed in foster care. He would be used as the poster fawn for the lefts fight for universal health care because “Rudolph has just as much right to have his nose surgically corrected as privileged reindeer do.” Because his nose would no longer shine Santa would not have been able to deliver toys that Christmas.
What if Santa had encouraged Hermie to pursue his dentistry interest?
He would have done undergrad work at Michigan and been involved in an affirmative action battle because he was possibly admitted due to his elfness and not because of his grades (grades which are probably not relevant since his only education is toy making)
And the misfit toys would still be on the island, lonely and separated from the rest of society.
On the good side - there would be one less case of ornithoside and fewer traumatized children in the world.
Watched this for the first time in years recently. Especially keen on seeing this supposed avicide.
All I can say is all of you anti-elfites are making me sick with your baseless accusations. You can see, if you do a frame-by-frame analysis of the scene, that the toy bird was preparing to attack the poor elf, no doubt due to psychological imbalance stemming from it’s mistreatment as a misfit toy.
This mitigating factor can lead to only one interpretation of the actions of the accused Santa’s helper:
Elf Defense.
Scupper, your analysis of the film is marred by only one omission: “Back and to the left. Back and to the left.”
One other question re: Rudolph’s condition. Is it possible his mother took Thalidomyde?
What’s Thalidomyde? I think she could have been on Valium. Donner? On steroids, his own testosterone, or a male ego trip. I mean come on…“NO, this is MAN’S work.” Gheesh. Female reindeer like this stuff? Rudolph was pretty cute looking when he was older though.