Yeah, I’ll agree with you there. And remember, to illustrate that he was older, they showed a long, gratuitous shot of his arse while he was bent over taking a drink. This is a kid’s show? Sex. Murder. The “true” character of Santa and crew. And what was up with Yukon constantly licking his pike. Silver and Gold my butt. This plot is as thick as peanut butter! “You eat what you like, and I’ll eat what I like.”
NYAAHHHH!!
::falls off chair, laughing::
“oww!”
::rubbing head:: “Welcome to the boards, Duppy!”
…I think…
Another thing they don’t tell you is that Hermie eventually flunked out of dental school and ended up in a string of low-paying jobs before landing a prominent role in a series of Altoids banner ads…
jr8
I had to nominate this one for Threadspotting. I was totally amazed that a simple question about a classic holiday TV special could degenerate into a discussion about murderous elves committing orthocide, dysfunction toys, a gay elf masquerading as a dentist, one bad ass Santa, etc., etc. You Dopers can corrupt anything.
You know, reading these has got me thinking… If Santa’s the originator of all toys, didn’t HE make the
misfits in the first place?!?! Well, maybe the elves made them, but he’s still management and ultimately
responsible for production AND customer satisfaction. PLUS, why is he dumping the shoddy toys
BACK onto the market!?!!? Weren’t they rejected by consumers?
Yukon was looking for PEPPERMINT!
Tsk, youth.
I’m too lazy to provide an IMDB link, but Burl Ives was pretty big potatoes back in the day (50’s). Had a decent career as a folk singer and actor; although he’s most associated with a warm and folksy demeanor, he’s probably best known for his portrayal of Big Daddy in the film version of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (with Liz Taylor & Paul Newman).
Had a short-lived sitcom, too. Anybody else remember “O.K. Crackerby” ?
And why the hell was the Bumble so zealous to join in with the Christmas spirit all of a sudden?
And WHY did Mrs. Claus say the children would be so disapoint to see a “skinny Santa”? Hello! The kids are going to be asleep when Santa comes through the chimney. Sorry…but that bothered me.
Who was Santa going to foist the misfit toys onto?
Why was Anon banned? He seems to have only one post here- what was so offensive about it? Please don’t kill me for asking…
EXCELLENT point! And I thought we’d exhausted all the major flaws! Gives me hope.
Another thing I noticed is that Yukon says TWICE early on that a Bumble’s ONLY weakness is water. What about his teeth? I mean, remove them and you’re looking at a mighty humble bumble. I guess Yukon must have meant tooth-enabled Bumble weakness.
Speaking of which, I don’t care if you take Hannibal Lecter’s teeth out; he’s not decorating my Christmas tree.
All in all, my favorite lesson of Rudolph is that I no longer feel alone. I’ve learned a valuable lesson from Santa in that I’m not the only one who can go from that skinny to that fat in only a few weeks.
Please remind me never to select any of you dopers for a murder jury!
Where is the evidence that the elf was aware of the bird’s “disability”? Isn’t it possible that the elf just made the reasonable (if mistaken) assumption that the bird could fly?
If the elf didn’t know
You must let him go!
If anyone’s culpable here, it’s Rudolph. He certainly knew the bird couldn’t fly. Why didn’t he tell the elf? A clear-cut case of negligence, I say. I hope Rudolph’s has insurance, 'cause once he gets paroled from doing time for manslaughter (er, birdslaughter), he’s looking at a major lawsuit. Santa better hope his premiums are paid, too, 'cause he has some vicarious liability as Rudolph’s employer.
The doll was a misfit because she was no longer loved. King Moonracer flys all over the world every night and brings back toys that no little girl or boy loves. Charlie-in-the-box said it, don’t you remember? And yes, Santa was mean. And I hate that part where Santa asks Rudolph to pull his sleigh and Rudolph says in that smarmy, brown nose voce “It would be an honor Sir!” I HATE that!
Oh yeah, and was it my imagination, or did the Abominable Snowman catch an antler to the 'nads? He seemed to have an especially pained expression on his face when Rudolph gave him a shot to the nether regions.
Back to the OP…
The doll was misfit because she cried ice cubes instead of tears. (Really!)
As to the owlicide…due to the speed and trajectory at which the owl left the sleigh, the only possible theory is that there was a second elf.
[Joe Pesci voice]
“A triangulated cross-fire. That’s the key!”
“A diversionary shot gets the Secret Service leaning the other way. Then, the kill shot! The key is, one man (elf?) has to be sacrificed.”
[Joe Pesci voice]
Great thread, but what is it still doing in General Questions?
Based on the Laws of Cartoon Physics, anyone in cold weather will cry ice cubes. Also, they’ll turn into one if they put their entire body in a lake in cold weather.
Just saw The Santa Clause for the first time this weekend, and a LOT of the elves seemed to be Jewish in that one, especially the head elf Bernard (played by David Krumholtz).
It gave me pause.
Cordially,
Myron M. Meyer
The Man Who
I watched the tape last night.
My god.
It WAS an owl.
“Those dirty, rotten, stinking b@stards!”
::leaves to light a candle in memory of a dear-departed cousin::
Screech…my heart goes out to you. 
Jester and i were having this really weird discussion in which we talked about the psychological significance of Rudolph and of Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus in general…
Hey i didn’t realize this thread went into threadspotting. Wow cool beans!!! I gotta revive it. Its my duty…otherwise I’ll be known as the person who killed Rudolph…'s thread, that is.
Ignorance of the law is not an excuse.
If the elf was not wise,
He still has to fry!