Next we’ll hear that an AI wrote the press release and “hallucinated” the connection between the police responding to a domestic violence call and Giuliani’s nearby coincidental car crash.
Hope the motherfucker dies an agonizing death.
Unfortunately the “medical things” the nurses have does not include burdizzos, unless Rudy is in a veterinary hospital. But that specific surgical instrument could help solve several of his problemstic behaviours.
Not only had he rendered aid to a victim of domestic violence, he also had a box of abandoned kittens in his car that he was taking to the local children’s hospital to brighten the kids’ day.
But… but… what if he’s now permanently bound to a wheelchair…?
Could you imagine that…?
When I read the news about this, I immediately thought of two things.
- Someone is tying up loose ends…
- The “press release’s” description of the accident and preceded events sounds like something the FSB would do…
Yeah. Was really chased out of house by screaming woman, hobbled to car before police arrived then popped it in reverse on the highway.
I don’t think he has a “blood alcohol level” any longer. It must have been frustrating for the cops if they tried to get a reading on it and the screening device just kept coming back with “no blood detected, 100% alcohol”.
In a Coen Brothers film or a ripping game of Fiasco there are always loose ends. And Rudy Giuliani is definitely a character in one of those things. Somewhere in this narrative there is a not-quite-dead body which disappeared from a shallow grave.
Stranger
I think it’s called “antemortem embalming”.
Exactly, that’s why he didn’t die. He’s actually been dead for years but his brain is so perfectly pickled that he hasn’t realized it yet.
“He had a 0.08% alcohol blood content.”
“You mean blood alcohol content?”
“No. No, I did not.”
For some reason my mind keeps jumping to the blood test scene in The Thing…
The trauma he suffered at the grocery store when that kid pounded him on his back has been aggravated. He can only take so much.
I have straw. Maybe his back can handle that, or maybe not. Let’s see.
Did they accidentally take him to a hospital next to a crematorium or a sex shop?
To ease Rudy’s pain, Trump has announced that Giuliani will receive a Presidential Medal of Freedom.
I honestly expected that article about the Presidential Medal of Freedom to be from The Onion. That it’s a real news story shows that Trump is no longer satisfied with having degraded this formerly prestigious award to being totally worthless, but is now handing it out to criminals.
Trump believes there can never be enough degradation. Seriously, all the Dictators’ Handbooks advise maximizing degradation.
As for Rudy: I wonder if the press can be bothered to dig up the actual facts of his accident. He’s not exactly click-bait anymore.
Maybe the White House keeps a few on hand, to deal with uncooperative GOP Senators.
How much will Rudy hock it for?