Russia makes Steven Seagal special envoy to US

As far as I can tell, it’s real.

Doesn’t hurt anything, so why not? After all, we sent Dennis Rodman to North Korea.

One asshole bonds with another. Nothing earth shaking there.

That sentence created a hilariously disturbing image. :slight_smile:

So let me get this straight: he’s working for the Russians? For free? He’s just doing some volunteer work with the Russians on outreach to Trump? Or is it to reach out to voters? I don’t understand what the fuck is going on anymore. How do I get out of Bizarro World?

According to wiki, Seagal was granted Russkie citizenship on 3 Nov 2016.

You know, if everything since [June 16, 2015]( was a series of articles in The Onion, I’d be like “C’mon, guys, this isn’t satire, this is just ridiculous unbelievable bullshit.”

(Also, I nominate the above quote from Happy Lendervedder for our new National Motto.)

Rodman went to North Korea as a private citizen. He was not sent there as a representative of the American government.

Funny thing, Dan Piraro, the guy who draws the one-frame Bizarro cartoon, has gone to live in Mexico (and is still putting it out). So, our weirdness is no longer wholly domestic. Though, TBCF, most Bizarro cartoons make more sense than most of contemporary reality.

Any reason why Russia can’t be represented in the United States by Anatoly Antonov? He’s the actual Russian ambassador.

I just feel like this is a really, really bad '80s action movie, and I HAVE NO IDEA WHO I’M SUPPOSED TO BE ROOTING FOR! Is Van Damme in this one too? Better not be fucking Chuck Norris.

Sly Stallone is still on the side of the angels! He leans right politically, but he turned down a job offer from Trump. I’m going to watch Rocky IV right now!

If we’re lucky, Seagal’s part will be something like his role in Executive Decision.

Van Damme is also busy with self-parody these days (Coors ads, Jean Claude van Johnson). The difference is that Van Damme knows that he’s making himself look ridiculous, which is unlikely to be the case with Seagal.

He was in that? I heard he bailed early on.

Or his role in Machete.

Ok, that’s funny.

For those not familiar with traditional martial arts, the front kick is one of the basic moves every white belt learns and has been learning since they invented karate.

However, here is Seagal claiming, essentially, that he invented a recent version of it.

Complete and udder horseshit. So much shit comes out of his mouth, his asshole must be jealous.

Yes, but AFTER they started filming, so they just killed off his character very early on.

Uh, I really don’t want to see this movie if Van Damme is fucking Chuck Norris.