“Goddam” Saddam is rumored to be dead, which is usually reliable indication that he is, in fact, rung down the curtain, joined the choir invisible, ex-parrot, and gladdened the hearts of people everywhere, couldn’t happen too soon!! (What’s that subtle noise in the background? Sounds like a couple hundred kilos of bacon frying! “This just in from Hell….”)
And the people rejoice!
Well, you know my take on this, I surmise. But how is our government to respond? There are certain protocols for the death of heads of state, even a pustule like Saddam. Can we do as the situation calls for, gloat and make up more “Saddam in Sheol” jokes or are we required to be dignified as though the guy wasn’t a thermonuclear asshole.
Issue a diplomatic statement about an “important leader” etc? Do we send Dick Cheney to the funeral, or the sitting VP, Big Al? Or do we broadcast the new “South Park” movie for a twenty four hour marathon over Radio Free Iraq?
Should George the First issue a solemn statement of concern, or invite “Stormin Norman” and Colin “Shaft” Powell over to get shit-faced drunk!
Probably something like:
“We sympathize with the grief of the Iraqi people, and regret that he passed on before he was able to bring peace to his nation”, or doublespeak to that effect.
Um, you do realize that the probable result of Saddam Hussein’s death will be a bloody civil war leading to either A)some general being declared “El Presidente”(to mangle my metaphors) B) a hardline extremist muslim government, or C) both.
Also I don’t think any of those options would exactly result in a renewed friendlyness with the United States. All in all, I would say that the correct response would be more along the lines of “Oh shit.”
When and if Saddam exits, it would be a great opportunity to reach out to his successor(s) with promises of ending sanctions, financial aid, free Yankees tickets etc. Restraining the urge to organize tickertape parades would be advisable.
The result of his passing could hardly be a lot worse than what we have now.
Cite? Why, the firmly reliable, soberminded Drudge Report, of course. They have it on the authority of the highly respected, thoroughly professional Egyptian intelligence. Yeah, well… On the other hand, the rumors are out there. As in many instances in the past, you dont get an official statement that the Big Dog is dead until they’re pretty sure who the new Big Dog is going to be. Smart money, at least temporarily, is that his vile creep of a son, Uday, will inherit. Many see a clear Tiberius/Caligula paralell.
As a rule, despots like him don’t allow rumors of his death to float about without scotching them toot sweet. And all he has to do is stand out on his balcony and wave.
And he hasn’t. My bet? El Croako, the dirt nap, etc. and it couldn’t happen to a better candidate, now that Pol Pot has bought it.
Its one thing, I suppose, to believe that God doesn’t exist. Quite another to live in such a way that you have to hope there isnt.
Don’t bet on Iraq returning to the Western World if Saddam is gone. He has hand-picked his brother to succeed him, and by some accounts, the would-be succession is like replacing Woodrow Wilson with Hitler. Yes, he is depicted to be even worse than Saddam.
The guy has so many impersonators that he could be dead for months before the truth is discovered. he dosent go abroad much and the only footage you see of him is poorly shot images of him unveiling statues of himself and saluting military parades. The life of a political Despot is very demanding indeed…
Add to that the fact that the Iraqi people don’t like us. They blame the U.S. for the immense suffering caused by the sanctions. Whether they are right to do this is irrelevant - the next dictator of that happy little land will pander to that emotion.
