“Here at SDMB Inc. we pride ourselves on having the best fetish accessories for all ages. We’ve been providing for America’s kink needs for over a hundred years, and we know out business. So when you think whip, think SDMB. And remember, if it doesn’t leave our logo on your partner’s ass, it’s not SDMB certified.”
Oh my! LMAO! I can’t believe you, Freak!
Wow, I knew this place was good for something!
"And do you know how much you can get it for? Would you believe me if I said 19.95? That’s right, just 19.95! And if you order one right now, you’ll get ten minutes of phone sex with one of our operators free of charge!!! Call now, the number is 1-800-WHIPPED.
Don’t miss this opportunity to own your very own SDMB brand name whip! Nothing makes a mark on your friends like an SDMB whip!"
Dear Mr. Freak F-er and SDMB, Inc.
What’d Lex say the other night?
“You’re one Sick fucker, you know that?”, or something to that effect…I must concur!
(While I’m here, you gotta full length leather catsuit and matching riding crop for Silver? keep it on the downlow though, it’s a surprise)
-Sam
::keeps eyes closed so as not to see::
::wondering why the room suddenly got so quiet::
::decides it’s empty and leaves::
GaWd, I never had any doubt of that.
BTW, that cat suit will be 19.95. Everything we sell is 19.95.
"And remember, Fantastic Fetish Fun brand name paddles just don’t come close to The Board. It’s strong, it’s durable, it’s simple.
The Board.
Because when you want something that’ll just get a reply, think FFF. But when you want welts, tears and screams of agony, think SDMB. Besides, who wants to see FFF on their partner’s butt?
Call now, operators are standing by."
But Wait! theres more!!Free with Every order!!! your very own SDMB 32 piece feltch straw set!! and for a limited lime we’re offering to have your favourite posters name on each straw!
Could we give you anymore??
YES! YES! YES!
Order now and get the Catsuit, Whip, Brand, Board and 32-peice decorative Feltching straw collection for the all time lowest price of $19.95
and during our free phonesex offer, if you dont shoot your muck, you dont owe a buck!!
Yep. I dig what you’re saying. FreakFreely, you are too cool.
… I cant help it, I have a problem… 
“That’s right John, you do have a problem! Your problem is that you have not yet ordered your own SDMB Squick Set completed by a Squick Screw to go along with your collection! I can’t stress the importance of this enough people, you just can’t be a true Squicker unless you get this set. That’s right and now you can get this Squick Set for an all time low, low price of 19.95! That’s right just 19.95!”
Be sure to stop by MOJO’s massage parlor where out motto is
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- WE NEVER RUB YOU THE WRONG WAY * * * *
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Let out specially trained staff work on any body part, just 19.95 Did you hear what I said? Just $19.95 per part
So, Freaky. Have you ever thought of being one of those guys that do infomercials? 
“That’s right and here at MOJO’s Massage Parlor if you order our massage for just 19.95 you’ll get a complimentary hand job for just 19.95 plus 19.95 for shipping and handling. Order now!”
I noticed that in the last message I posted, the word our was misspelled as out three times. It’s just that I find it really hard to type with just one hand.
That’s right now at MOJO’s we have a TMFI for you, at just 19.95! That’s right just 19.95!
You wanna change that sig to “I’m a cascading fountain of self-promotion”?
-Sam
What precisely is a TMFI
Do I have one, and more important how badly would I want to be rid of it?
That’s right for just 19.95 we’ll tell you what TMFI means. Order now!