And now for a limited time only, our “It Grabs You Bag” where you never know what you’ll get! It may be slippery, it may be furry, it may be scaly! So many options, and they’re all here for you folks, and just… you guessed it, 19.95!!! Order now!
Disclaimer: SDMB Inc. will not be held responsible for any casualties and/or maimings caused by “It Grabs You Bag” inhabitants.
Hey Freak did you get the moderators’ permission to sell your wares? I think that they want a cut of your profits.
Shhhhhhh… I’ll give you a complimentary felch straw if you keep quiet about this…
Now where can I get one of those 69 page full colour catalogs, Freak?
blow-up dommes?!! Darn! Foiled again. As they say “if it’s too good to be true…”
You’re wrong Moe! Here at SDMB Inc., nothing is too good to be true! And no one is too good to beat you!
KimKatt- I’ll send it to you for free! Plus 19.95 shipping and handling of course.
I’ll pay the extra $19.95, but only if you’re the one doing the beating. 
psst! freakfreely…can I model the merchandice?
Silver_Fire: Gosh, I’d love to. But if I beat you then tubagirl would want a beating and then ColdFire and Byzantine and Mr. Cynical and…
tubagirl- Sure, but your pay will consist of room and The Board. Now get to work! I’m not paying you to just stand there! Stretch! Make the outfit look good!
If not you then who? Do I get to pick? Who’s available? This is all very important information that I’ll need before I make my decision.
Our catalogue of masters, mistresses and subs can be found right here.
I want:
1 Hard rubber spiked dildo
3 Electric nipple clips
2 Realistic feeling blow-up dolls
1 Bottle of Orange Juice
1 Garden Hose
Well, now I have to choose between Mr. Cynical and GaWd. Decisions, decisions. Maybe I won’t pay the extra cash.
And, since you don’t have the outfit I wanted, I’ll take a collar, a pair of handcuffs, a whip, a leash, and 6 feet of rope. Did you get all that?
And a partridge in a pear tree? Ok, I can get for you these things. So long as you don’t ask me why we have the garden hose. And it’s nipple clamps, not nipple clips.
Handcuffs and six feet of rope?! Who the hell are you restraining, The Incredible Hulk? No wait, I forgot about our don’t ask don’t tell.
We’ll be sending them any minute now (which is to say, as soon as we get our money).
Don’t ask, don’t tell my ass. Who am I restraining, you say? Well, that all depends on who decides they’d like to take The Board to me.
I’d like to order the “Unicorn” combination chinband/headhand with dildo attached. Gift wrapped please. I’t going to make someone very happy.
Also 2 industrial size cans of pudding,
1 chocolate, I butt-r-scotch
Silver - Well, I was going to send you The Board, now I’m afraid you’ll tie up the Fed-Ex as soon as he takes it to you… I’m not sure if they could sue us for that, but it’s best not to take the chance…
mojo -
Actually, we prefer to call it “The Headbanger”. It’s on the way.
Ahhh, now this is more like it. Decisions, decisions.
Well you know, if you can’t decide, you can always just get more than one at a time. They’re only 19.95 each.
“and during our free phonesex offer, if you dont shoot your muck, you dont owe a buck!!”
Do you realize this line made me laugh out loud in the middle of a law library?!?!?!
I gotta buy my own computer…
Patty