A couple of posts over on this thread http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=40440 got me to wondering. How important is age and sexual orientation to the practice of safe sex? I’m 39 years old and came of sexual majority during the early '80s. No worries about safe sex in those days, let me tell you! The only worry I recall was that of unwanted pregnancy and most of the girls I knew (including myself) were on the pill. Towards the end of my single days there was the herpes scare, but I just kept the lights on long enough to take a comprehensive look at any strange johnsons and check 'em out for lesions. While I wouldn’t say I was exactly promiscuous, I certainly did my share of strangers – if the circumstances were right (A: If they were cute, B: If I had already read all my library books, or C: If there was nothing good on TV). And, to be honest, the circumstances often were right (A: The world is just full of cute guys!, B: I’m a very fast reader, and C: This was before cheap cable and VCRs). I met my future husband about the same time that fear of AIDS burst upon the heterosexual scene, and have been happily monogamous ever since, but I remember my single days with some affection – it was fun! So, what’s the story with safe sex and single people nowadays – is everyone abstaining unless in a fairly committed relationship? Is condom use an absolute must? Are homosexual guys more or less likely to insist upon safe sex (I ask this because both of the guys who expressed shock over on the “swallowing” thread were gay.) And, finally, would my tally of lovers (30 or so, spread over 6 years and more than half of which were one or two nighters), which I thought fairly conservative at the time, mark me as incredibly easy nowadays?
I don’t know what constitutes “incredibly easy.” I guess that depends on your frame of reference. I’m a single guy about to turn 32. Straight.
I have had a total of 2 sexual partners. The first was with a woman I was engaged to. She was a walking Penthouse Forum story, but was an evil demon spawn of Satan (the real Satan, not our Satan).
A while after that, I met a wonderful woman whom I am still seeing. We are “committed” and have talked about marriage, but have not set a date.
I would never have sex with a stranger, or in the absence of a committed relationship. But that’s just me.
Safe sex has not been much of an issue. Both women are/were incapable of getting pregnant. I don’t have any diseases to give, and what with negative tests and the sexual history of the women in question, the chance either one of them has/had VD is extremely small. Extremely. Ergo, no problem.
In the grand scheme of things, I think your tally might be a little higher than average for these days Jess. At 20, I’ve had my fair share of sex, but my 7 comes nowhere near the 30 you boast. Along the same line… safe sex is a MUST! There is too much crazy shit going on out there not to be safe. It’s really not that big of a deal, and a little lack of sensation is worth all the headache that you save. I’ve had a few one nighers myself, and I don’t see anything wrong with that, but I definitely think it happens much less nowadays than in the past. I’m a college student, so I see people hooking up all the time, but they are much more wary about the sex end of things than people used to be. Just my $.02
22, total of one sexual partner. I don’t see myself ever having sex outside a fairly committed relationship.
However, I’ve used a condom only once, just to see how it felt different.
You mean…they’re not one in the same??
One of the queers who noted the safe sex thing in the other thread here.
I turn 32 in a mere 5 days. :o (Yeah, yeah, I’m scared too.) I came out in January of 1987, just as Regan finally said the word “AIDS” and it was everywhere, especially since research had finally started giving us answers (i.e., method of transmission, safer sex practices, etc.). It was still a “gay disease,” and to a lesser degree a drug-user and hemophiliac problem (and remained so until the early to mid-90’s), so of course we, the gay community, got the brunt of the education. It wasn’t until the straight folks started realizing, “Hey, I could get this thing!” (I believe the watershed was Magic Johnson’s revelation) that things started to change.
So, yes, my sexual blossoming occurred right during the heyday - thank whatever diety you believe in! Not only have I remained blessedly HIV-, but I’ve never had any other STD (ok, crabs once or twice, but they’re harmless and you can’t do anything to prevent them anyway).
Of course, now you’re wondering what my sexual proclivity is. Let’s just say I’ve had more than my fair share of one-nighters as well as longer-lasting boyfriends/romances. Definitely more than 30. 
(It’s good to be young and beautiful, n’est-ce pas?)
AIDS ain’t over, so don’t get lax on me, folks.
Oh, and for the record, barebacking is the single most stupid frame of mind ever conceived by man. Suicide by sex, and a long, slow, painful one at that - yeah, sounds like my idea of a hot time… 
Esprix
- 11-15 partners (most were before I was 15 and I don’t remember all the details). All were safe except for the first time with the first one (whew! got lucky) and the two I was/am married to.
–is everyone abstaining unless in a fairly committed relationship?
Well, of course everyone isn’t abstaining, but its definately a much lower percentage who have frequent casual sex than I’ve been lead to beleive did in the 70’s and 80’s. Now it’s considered cool to wait until you’re in a relationship (not necessarily a long term serious one) to have sex. One night stands are probably quite a bit more rare, but I’d guess sex on the 5th date is more common.
–Is condom use an absolute must?
I think it is during a one-night stand. Very few people could even consider not using one with someone they just met. I think many people use a healthy amount of caution early in relationships as well, but are getting a bit more comfortable shedding that condom a while into a relationship.
–Are homosexual guys more or less likely to insist upon safe sex (I ask this because both of the guys who expressed shock over on the “swallowing” thread were gay.)
I’d assume gay men are much more adamant about condom use. They still run the greatest risk, and have been exposed to the facts more than most. Interestingly, I’d also guess that this awareness also inspired the fetish for barebacking, considering the comparative indifference in straights
–And, finally, would my tally of lovers (30 or so, spread over 6 years and more than half of which were one or two nighters), which I thought fairly conservative at the time, mark me as incredibly easy nowadays?
Incredibly Easy? No. Kinda Easy, probably. I’m pretty picky about my sexual partners, and if I came across a 25 yo woman with 25+ partners I’d think long and hard about getting involved with her. I wouldn’t rule it out, but I’d definately weigh it against her other character qualities. Alot of girls I meet go through that “slut” phase between 17-23 that usually lasts for a year or two. I’m pretty understanding, and ponder if I’m having a double standard (I’m a serial monogamist), but it doesn’t sit well with me. So, I don’t know it there is a easy answer on the “is 30 people considered easy?” question. Its probably going to vary widely from person to person, usually reflective of their own experience. If you haven’t slept around, you probably expect the same of your partner. If you have, you probably have an attitude thats more accepting of others. I think my main emotion isn’t that sleeping around today is “slutty” and “dirty”, its more that I think its foolish, and a lack of common sense is unattractive to me. I have no idea what’s fair and reasonable, just what the voices in my head tell me.
I’m 22, have had 5 partners (including my husband – we’ve been married 6 months), and have used condoms + the pill with all of them. I knew all my partners well but I wasn’t going to take any chances. Now that I’m married, I’m using only the pill.
30 partners in 6 years is, IMHO, rather a lot – but I don’t think it really matters.
I think times have changed. I’m 37 tomorrow and from what I see and hear from my 20 yo stepdaughter, people do seem to be more conservative than our generation were. Jess, I can remember the days when 30+ partners actually didn’t qualify a woman as a slut. The circles I moved in (which were varied ) one night stands were common and no big deal. STDs just weren’t seen as a risk that was life threatening. I can remember when AIDS first began to be viewed as a risk to heterosexuals. I changed my sex habits around that time - of course I had the bad luck to sleep with someone who slept with someone who might have slept with one of the first people in Australia with AIDS. It scared me into being more careful for which I am deeply grateful.
Male, straight, 7 different partners in 6 years.
I’ve always wrapped up, but STDs were never really an issue with any of them(well, one of them was iffy, but she was also pretty insistent on using condoms), even though we were well into the age of AIDS by the time I lost my virginity. We just simply didn’t want to deal with a pregnancy. I’m in a serious relationship now (and still use condoms), but before that I had no intention whatsoever of abstaining until I found Miss Right. I just made sure that I didn’t get any unpleasant surprises (either of the “it’s been 3 months since my last period” or the “is it supposed to be that color?” variety) from Miss Right Now.
And Jess, you’re probably incredibly easy to talk to, incredibly easy to get along with and incredibly easy on the eyes, but I would never call you incredibly easy. After all, given the choice, I would have had just as many partners as you.
–sublight.
22, Female, 13-15 partners…I have only had unprotected sex with 2 guys, both of whom I was in long-term relationships with and both of us got tested for STDs twice before we did. My current BF and I always use a condom and I’m on the pill. For me, getting pregnant has been my main concern, but the STD factor does play a role. With the exception of 1 of my partners, I have known everyone I have slept with well. I worry about STDs because you never know who the other person has slept with and who those people have slept with and so on. I think if both people are willing to get tested and wait 6 months and get tested again, having unprotected sex is fine, but really, who does that anymore?