Saint Patrick's day joke

That’s a Northern Irish joke, specifically

Not an ophidiophobia joke, but it does have St. Patrick and another figure…

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first”.

Splendid cartoon ! I also loved the lower-down-the-page “gold, Frankenstein and myrrh” one.

Laughed out loud. Never laugh out loud reading a joke.

And old friend visited today and I told it to him. It killed. Will definitely remember.

Another version, as a silly riddle, not an Irish joke:

How to you get two whales in a Volkswagen?
(Hint: it only works when told, not written.)

Take M4.

‘do’, not ‘to’

What was the Welshman doing beside the road?
Having a leak.

Paddy and Seamus are driving through the streets of Belfast:

“Hey, what happens if the bomb in the back seat goes off?”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got another one in the boot.”

Why does Irish bean stew only contain 239 beans? One more would make it too farty.

Yeah, the tipoff is “Just as Kobe beef from Japan is now considered the finest beef in the world”

An Englishman goes into an American diner and orders the soup of the day. When it comes, he looks at it, aghast, and says, ‘Good lord! What is this?

The waitress says, ‘It’s bean soup.’

The Englishman says, ‘I don’t care what it’s been! What is it now?

… And the top of the mornin’ to ya! :cool:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LN_VWj6L2k

“The Orange and the Green” by the Irish Rovers.

I thought Angus beef came from Scotland? :dubious: :confused:

Actually, I’ve heard the Irish traditionally dine on swine meat in Ireland. They didn’t start eating corned beef until they came to America.

A Mother Superior calls a meeting of all the nuns in her convent:

“Sisters in Christ,” she says. “It has come to my attention that there is a man hiding among us.”

All of the nuns gasp, except one. She goes “Tee, hee!”

“The other day, Sister Brighid found a used prophylactic as she was emptying the rubbish.”

Again, all of the nuns gasp, except one. She goes “Tee, hee!”

“Upon close examination, I found this prophylactic had a hole in it.”

All of the nuns go “Tee, hee!” except one. She gasps.