It’s the only way to be sure.
Insert standard disclaimer about how Pat Robertson doesn’t speak for all Christians here.
Feel better, RTFirefly? Yeah, me neither.
And here’s to you, Mr. Robertson,
Jesus loves you less than you will know.
God bless you, please, Mr. Robertson.
Heaven holds a place for those who pray,
Hey, hey, hey
Standing at a pulpit on a Sunday afternoon.
Calling for someone to assasinate.
Pray about it, shout about it
When you’ve got to choose
Every way we look at this you lose.
Koo-koo-ka-choo, Mr. Robertson…
Realize it? Hell, I WRITE the fucking news for a national U.S. network and I can’t convince my bosses that when the U.S. steals $5 billion from their closest trading partner that it’s a story. But the price of gas has gone up 6 cents this week. Oooohhh!
[/hijack]
Was there any basis to those stories I heard back when he was running for president that he bragged about how he had his daddy, a senator, pull some strings so he wouldn’t have to go into combat in Korea? Ah, here we go:
I’m glad my memory hasn’t failed me yet.
From an apropos thread on the Freep (!!!?):
Zing!
(Aside: I don’t know why I always check out the Freep whenever one of these buckets of shit hits the fan. I guess I like to see what the excuse du jour is from the rabid-pit-bull-on-PCP crowd. I mean, other than the guy who posts a picture of a mushroom cloud in every thread. Needless to say, they’ve banned me probably a dozen times.)
Man, if the Freepers are zinging him, you KNOW ol’ Pat’s stepped right off the edge of the diving board.
I look forward to his retraction and eventual apology in a couple of days stating he was misunderstood or quoted out of context.
Like peanut butter and chocolate or homosexuality and Satanism.
Some of P-Rob’s comments on gays, feminists, “activist judges”, etc., compiled here.
I love the way Robertson guards his words (the lawyer in him, I guess): he never actually said we should kill Chavez, but “take him out”. If cornered he could always claim “I meant take him out to IHOP, get him some of those blintzes and a chocolate brownie Sundae and tell him about the word of Jesus”. He also never technically prayed for God to kill the SCotUS judges he didn’t like, but just suggested that what with cancer and other infirmities, wouldn’t it be nice if they weren’t there anymore?
To me his comments on gays and killing judges and the like are as nothing compared to his African business dealings (things that would make Montgomery Burns blush) and his support of the Chinese “one child” legislation (coincidentally he has millions invested in China and wouldn’t want trouble with their government).
Gotta love him. Well not really, but do wish somebody would take him out. (To Dairy Queen, I mean.)
I would have thought that you were Canadian for even bringing it up. Who do you write for?
applauds
I’m just thinking about how we can get Simon and Garfunkel to sing this.
Pat also said God told him Bush would win reelection in a cake walk instead of a squeaker, which prompted even Cal Thomas to call him a loon. If Cal Thomas thinks you’re a nut, you better start keeping an eye on the squirrels, 'cause you ain’t safe.
Come to think of it, has anybody ever seen Montgomery Burns and Pat Robertson together? There’s some difference in hair, but that could be managed with a toupee.
“Who will rid me of this meddlesome judge?” - King Marion II of Virginia Beach (a true son-of-va-beach if there ever was one)
Well in fairness, the Bible says that if a man speaks a prophecy that God gave him and it does not come to pass, forgive and forget because it just means that God changed His mind.
What’s that?
Oh… my bad.
Of course my real hatred and disgust and contempt isn’t for Pat (a crazy old hypocrite) half so much as for the people who still send him money and listen to what he has to say as if he really is a man of God.
If that pisses you off, good thing you don’t have to drive past his Campus (Regent University, formerly known as CBN University) like I do. Hell, the city of Virginia Beach is working on getting him his own exit off the interstate.
And I would like to apologize to the rest of the world for this fucktard, seeing as I’m a neighbor (more or less) of his. But no one asked me if we should let him live here, so that’s the only thing I got in my defense.
Or at least the Capitol Steps.
Hide behind the First Amendment you think should have never been.
Use donations for equipment for your diamond mines.
It’s a little blasphemy just the Robertsons’ affair.
Most of all you’ve got to wave that Bible high.
CHORUS
Where have you gone, Savanarola,
The Fundies would turn deluded eyes to you.
What’s that you say, Mr. Robertson.
Girolamo didn’t own a TV station in his day.
Hey hey hey.
I’m all for giving him an exit.