Sandwiches nobody eats anymore

Sugar is the fourth ingredient in line, with two of the ones ahead of it essentially flavorless, and it’s not sweet? Miracle Whip sure is, and if I’m not mistaken, that’s pretty much the same thing.

From what I can find on the internet, as a baseline, Miracle Whip has 1 gram of sugar per tablespoon serving.

Tesco Salad Cream has 1.4 g.
Heinz has 2.1 g.
Sainsbury’s has 2.8g

I’ve had both salad cream and Miracle whip, and I agree with Dr. Paprila’s statement that salad cream is in general sweeter. I wouldn’t call either really “sweet,” but you can taste that there’s sugar in them.

Until I did some internet trawling a few minutes ago, I did not realise that the salad sandwich was an Australian thing. Not a ham salad or chicken salad sandwich minus the protein. As sold in the tuckshops of my youth, and in most suburban sandwich joints to this day, a salad sandwich consists of:

  • bread of your choice - 2 slices or a crusty roll [last century the choices were white or brown; I think a Turkish bread roll is the one to beat]
  • butter or margarine - generous tactile layer [mayonnaise is a no, and ‘salad cream’ would be as vomit-inducing as its name]
  • lettuce - shredded iceberg as base and plentiful
  • carrots - shredded carrots
  • tomatoes - gossamer-thin transparent slices
  • onions - a few rings
  • cucumber - a few thin slices for longitudinal stability
  • beetroot - 2-3 slices of the food of the gods [was usually optional, but who would ever say no thanks?]
  • salt and pepper like it was snowing

You could add slices of ham or chicken or cheese, but that made it a salad sandwich with ham, not a ham salad sandwich, because we’re not stupid.

Very tasty, healthy enough, quite light but filling, spills everywhere and the beetroot makes it look like you’ve been at a gunfight in your school uniform, and usually one of the cheaper offerings.

The salad sandwich is a bit of a sleeper. Once you are done ordering and being disappointed by some American theme sandwich shit like an ‘Al Capone’ or ‘Californian’, ffs, its an honest and cheap decent feed that more people around the world should eat. Pair with a flat white and a Cherry Ripe for an all-Australian feast.

A salad sandwich.

Earlier this week, Nicole Kidman named the salad sandwich as her favorite sandwich on Colbert. When she described it, it just sounded like a veggie sandwich. I like beets, but I’m not going to open a can of beets just to get one or two slices unless I’m planning to eat a bunch of “salad sandwiches” a lot of days in a row.

I tried Duke’s after all the boostering for it, but I found it had a slightly odd aftertaste that I didn’t like. It didn’t blend as well as Best Foods/Hellman’s with as wide a variety of foods (meat, fish, veggies, fruits, etc.).

I personally don’t eat Reubens anymore. Not because they are not delicious. But because so few places make them at all well. I don’t want to waste the time and money trying one out at places anymore. Usually just a soggy mess.

Meanwhile, I’ve been jonesing for Duke’s lately, and my usual grocery stores all seem to have stopped carrying it. It’s been months since I’ve had it. I suppose I could just head over to Amazon (ETA: Just did, so thanks for the reminder!) (I find it blends just well with all the foods you’ve mentioned and has more zip than Hellman’s. Which is still good, mind you. I do like tart flavors, so that’s probably why I like it more. I used to squeeze a lemon into Hellman’s back in my college days to satisfy that craving.)

Vinegar adds a sharp flavour and the mustard is stronger than the stuff you put on hot dogs.

I agree that there is more sugar than I had realised, but it doesn’t taste sweet to me.

Jimmy John’s uses Hellman’s mayo even here on the west coast where Best Foods is what’s in stores.

Central procurement can sometimes be a fun thing. You get to see brands and packaging you’d never encounter in the local wild.

in what form are you seeing the labels on their mayo? The little individual squeeze packets?

I live just outside Mineola on Long Island and there are a dozen or more Portuquese restaurants in business here surrounding me, so I’m totally going to check out a Francesinha. Never heard of before.

I hear ya, though I haven’t crossed them off yet. The last one I ordered was at a big family restaurant. It arrived open face and had been piled enormously high before browning under the broiler. And it was awesome (they have a housemade Thousand Island dressing, served on the side!) but a knife & fork affair, not a Reuben sandwich. I didn’t even see the bread until I was sliding the mass off the plate into the to-go box. I’d have been happier if it was half the size and could be picked up and eaten like … a sandwich.

Wait a minute: Reuben pot pie?!?
checks, it exists

I was going to suggest the dressing should be served on the side. Otherwise things get too sloppy, And the meat must be sliced super-thin before it’s piled on.

Interesting, did you work there or do they have packets? JJ’s has a weird aversion to mustard, but I haven’t noticed the mayo.

Jimmy John’s stocks a lot of their ingredients in places where they can be seen by customers in the lobby or at the drive-thru window. The large jars of Hellman’s are easily identifiable.

I saw Dukes in the grocery store! Gonna have to try it.

You need to look for delis in the style of New York City (i.e.: Jewish). There’s one all that not far from us here in the DC suburbs but they’ve gotten expensive.

The store I work at started carrying it just recently, but I barely ever use mayo so I haven’t tried it. Once in a blue moon I’ll pick up a squeeze bottle of Kraft mayo because I have a craving for a BLT, I’ll use it two or three times, and then it’ll sit in the fridge for weeks until I throw it out because I can’t remember how old it is.

I found some locally (and cheap, $4.99/30 oz) and I’m almost through the first jar. It’s certainly not far better than the others. I just had a lick and simpy cannot taste the paprika them Duke boys crow about zip and all that.

Dukes has a little zing to it. If I want zing I’ll mix mayo with sriracha or something like that. Not been worth buying it for me. Also have heard people say “The mayo is not right” when it’s used on a sandwich.

Perhaps only Jewish style? Because I see cheese on that sandwich and they offer bacon on others.