Satan, you ignorant slut

The BBQ Pit
1

I suppose most posters have a good reason for flaming someone. I truly do not. Satan has made no silly responses or unfounded statements. Actually I kinda respect him. I suppose it may be simply that at times this board is an ego version of “king of the hill”.
So many want to proclaim you as master. Why ?

(Pit thread starts here)

What the fuck have you ever said that is so socially profound that you deserve so much BS MB “respect” ? Nothing. You are quite adept at speaking common sense, yet my dog does that, and she is better looking that your MB girlfriend (hi drain bead). How nice that you need a MB to find “love”, if I was as big a fat-ass as you I guess i couldn’t meet women the normal way either. In fact, I have been to your website and know exactly what you are in real life . . . a record rep. Well guess what cum bubble ? I have a real job in the music biz, and let me tell you what your kind is known as Luci, “scum sucking trash”. You aren’t talented enough to play music or even announce it. You have to settle on hanging around those with real talent in the hopes you will get some money, and respect.

To borrow a line, “fuck you and your website”.

I, by myself, have sickened of seeing all the BS worship you recieve on this MB, when none of it is earned. People line up to call themselves your “friends”, some I can think of have to go so far as to include your dumb-ass in their sigs to feel they belong.

I have quietly attacked you several times and you have (as your namesake) wriggled away by ignoring me. So lets see you wriggle away from this you pompous, over-hyped, obesese, Giants loving, ass monkey. Prove yourself ! Prove you deserve the admiration of the other lemmings who spout of their affection like so much ignorant conformist drivel !

I have learned over the last few weeks that the Pit has as much talent and skill in it as any forum. I wish to test mine against the so called “best”. Bring it on Luci. What you got ? I have recieved falmes , but this is my first give . . . I hope it is creative enough for you, you concieted blubbery twit. Hey, if I recall correctly the NY Giants sucked my left nut this season. You however, can have the whole sack.

Bring it on dipshit. I know you have lots of mindless followers who wil leap to your defense, so I have my asbestos undies on. This might just be fun. Everyone wants to kiss your ass, show me why . . .

Your Pal (that is the correct spelling as any 3rd grader knows, perhaps if you didn’t spend so much time playing with yourself you would know that too).

Ah, I am really starting to enjoy this Pit. :smiley:

2

Dude, you’re screwed.
‘Member me?
Good ol’ SmickD, of different nomenclature.
‘Member when I flamed your ass? Been kinda timid ever since, haven’t ya, bud? And now this; I guess you finally got your balls re-attached after they were ripped off the time you thought you could fuck with me.
Anyway, I digress and ramble. All of the above is irrelevant, as you an’ me, we’s pals now. In the interest of you and I being pals, hear me now.
My point is that I think you may have stepped in it this time.
You’re a pretty nice guy for the most part, and the threads I’ve seen from you since I doused your ass with jet fuel and flicked a lit match your way have been pretty mellow. So to see this leads to two conclusions.

  1. You and satan are actually friends and you’re just fuckin’ with him.

2)You are a glutton for punishment and like for people to fuck you up, 2wice(sic).

Either way, as Flypsyde would say,
“Pucker up, ass-slammer!”
'Cause you’re in for a ride, mah-man.
You’re gonna get schooled.
The reasons I say this are pretty simple.

  1. You answer your own rhetorical questions.

  2. Your insults sound like they came from an old episode of beavis and butthead.

  3. The reference you make to “quiet attacks” are kinda funky. I can’t seem to find any evidence of these, or

  4. If that’s what you call an attack, then man, you’re fucked. Those weak-ass comments of yours couldn’t make a little girl with poison oak on her ass cry.

  5. You attack someone for spelling without bothering to run your own thread through spellchecker. Cut ‘n’ paste, dude, it’s the only way to go.

  6. You contradict yourself. Not just in this thread, but almost every time.

There are more, but I think you get the idea.
Please don’t take any o’ this the wrong way, bub. I mean it nice-like. In the spirit of “You stand no chance, pigeon dropping, I hope you die honorably” I say unto you:
Be prepared to die horribly.
Noonch.

how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…
VvvV

3

If it rings any bells – Faithless harridans are a nickle a pint mate, but yer dignity is all you’ll ever have. Don’t be givin’ that away.

That said, Allow me to introduce myself Gabriel – I’ll be the fella what doesn’t give a fuck about yer identity crisis. You’ll find me sittin’ over here in the corner with a beer in me hand should ye need me. Of course, should that be the occasion, it’ll be much more need than I’ll be able to accomodate. I’m only here for the show, you see.

(I’d tell you that yer over-matched, but I’d be takin’ Wally’s odds-makin’ duties away, and that just wouldn’t be fitting.)

Dr. Watson
“I will say to the gentleman that if I ever ‘made light’ of his remarks, it is more than he ever made of them himself.”

4

Lex - watch and be surprised

Crick&Watson - I am your student,(one day i hope to be as good as your posts) and mayhap “overmatched” is how I like it.

?? Where are all the flamers ?

5

I was going to reply but then I reread your post and realized that you wanted “falmes” from “concieted”,“obesese” posters and I have no idea what any of that means so…nevermind!

I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.

6

Simply because “Gabriel” v. “Satan” is so damned convenient, I’m inclined to think that this is another Democritus/Flypside interlude. But just on the offchance that it isn’t…
What the fuck are you blathering about, Gabriel? If you want to know why people respect Brian’s opinions,whether or not they agree with him, why don’t you do a search on his username, specifically in GD and GQ? He’s respected because he doesn’t just go spouting off a bunch of bullshit for kicks. He actually knows at least a little bit about whatever he’s talking about, and he debates fairly.

I can’t defend his career, since I’m not entirely sure what it is exactly, but he seems to like it…and if he didn’t, he’s smart enough to get a better job elsewhere.

Again, I’m only assuming that you’re actually flaming him, but whether you are or not is neither here nor there when it comes to attacking Libby and the circumstances of their relationship. That’s fucked-up and rude and, not to put too sharp a point on it, it ain’t none yer fuckin’ business to talk about, joke about, or judge.

Again, that was the “If this is a serious thing” response. The following is the “Oh, I get it, this is just for fun” response.

Heh. Heheheh…ya got me good, Gaby! Hooo-boy. What a prankster.

:::fuckin’ kids:::

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t remember me either.”

7

Who is Satan?

:slight_smile:
<h6>Cha ching</h6>

“Tell me and I’ll forget; Show me and
I may remember; Involve me and I’ll
understand.” - Old Chinese Proverb

8

BTW…
223 posts in less than a month?

Methinks you pad your count abit.
<h6>Would I do that?</h6>

“Tell me and I’ll forget; Show me and
I may remember; Involve me and I’ll
understand.” - Old Chinese Proverb

9

I’m going to go right ahead and hijack the hell out of this thread.

Lex-diddly-exicon bragged:

First off, LexiD? No one cares. You might THINK you’re Superman, but Jimmy Olsen could kick your ass. Hell, Jimmy Olsen’s imaginary friends could kick your ass. You’ve yet to understand the concept of flaming, much less do it with any skill. Bear that in mind.

Next, you said

Yeah, you use that a LOT in the Pit. You seem to think that if you post in the Pit, it doesn’t count. Here’s the thing : The Pit isn’t here for you to pretend to disagree with people. The Pit is an extension of the rest of the board - not an exception. So if you start name-calling and insult-dropping, be fully prepared to back it up. Or is that too hard for you? Maybe the SDMB needs to set up a remedial Pit for people like you that are too chickenshit to come right out and speak against other people. They could call it The Dip. Or, maybe they’d name it after you: the Smick. What an honor that’d be. It could be the Special Ed class of the board - special for those that are too weak to state what they think and feel. How’s THAT work for you, Lexaroni and Cheese? You could be the symbol for not adding a single worthy thought to the entire board. Maybe there would be a section for ripping off other people and not giving them credit.

Then you said

Please. You’ve ‘doused’ fewer things with ‘jet fuel’ than Mark Serlin has with cologne. Don’t flatter yourself.

THEN you have the ignorance to say

This is especially amusing when one considers that you end every post with something you ripped off from “Mallrats” and start a good portion of your posts with a phrase you snagged from “Tommyboy.” You are NOT Jason Mewes or Chris Farley. If you think the people on this board believe you came up with “Noonch” and “Fat guy in a little coat,” you are just sad. By the way, there are NO new episodes of Beavis and Butthead. Just wanted to make sure you knew.

The rest of your ammunition amounted to

Riiiiight. And I suppose you, Smixicon, are one hard-ass mothafucka? I don’t think so. I’ve seen newborn puppies that have more of an edge than you.

Look, I realize you’re simple. I know you want to mark some territory. I feel bad that I’m the one that has to let you know that your piss isn’t lethal, dogboy. Sorry.

By the way - I think Satan can defend himself. If you want to ingratiate yourself with the other board members, why don’t you try posting like a person rather than a hack comic? Noonch

“I’ll tell you a secret, baby - maybe you can’t do better - gotta settle for second best” - the Judybats

10

This is gonna be good. I got good tickets, too.

Even if it rains, I’m staying for this one.

11

I got lawn chairs, Wally, grab a seat. This should be a good one. We’ll send out for chicken later. How much you wanna bet that Satan doesn’t respond?

“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda

Senior Intern to
El Presidente
Self-Righteous Clique *

12

Satan Vs Gabriel…

Wasn’t this a South Park episode…

No that was Jesus…

I don’t know if Satan is going to post, but I’m taking a seat just in case. It looks like there is already an undercard to warm things up before the big fight.

13

He won’t be able to resist, fuzzy.

Although I wouldn’t be surprised if it was only one short zinger. Doesn’t appear to be too much of a challenge here.

14

And yet, I still read on.

Your name doesn’t happen to be David Berkowitz, does it?

She’s probably a better lay, too. I’ll ask your dad if I’m right or not.

Stocking shelves at Sam Goody doesn’t count, fuckwit.

Must have been pretty fucking quiet, because apparently nobody’s noticed.

I see you’ve even made up your own language.

And that’s probably the closest you’ll ever get to a blowjob, you syphillitic smegma puddle.

Take it out of your mom’s mouth first.

Um, because he’s a decent human being?

Don’t get too used to that feeling, assmunch.

15

Unaccustomed as I am to flame wars, since I usually have better things to do, I feel compelled to reply to this jealous person who is obviously obsessed with me for some reason. Contrary to what some posters surmised, I have no idea who this person is, and in fact, barely can even remember he existed prior to this. Seems that his 200-off posts totally went underneath the radar. Not a shocker…

Anyway, the obligatory retort:

As well you should. It’s obvious, from the attempts at vitriol that you live for me, and follow my every word as if it was a command.

In that case, please do the following:

(1) Drive you car to the nearest mountainous area.
(2) Park it on the side of a good sized peak.
(3) Get out of the car.
(4) Walk to the edge of the cliff.
(5) Jump.
(6) Plunge to your death.

I made sure to have the commands as detailed as possible for obvious reasons.

Because I am witty, intelligent, not too horrible on the eyes, and your mother says I’m good in bed.

I don’t think starting a thread in The Pit about someone I don’t even know is amongst my many posts. That might have something to do with it.

Your dog speaks common sense? Teach it to type. It’ll have more to say on this board than you do.

And I’m sure that your dog has quite the tongue too, Gabby. How much honey do you need to put on your three inch tool in order for it to get past the stench of your groin in order for it to do an adequate job of a reasonable blow job facsimile?

My ass is not fat, thanks. And while I might be able to lose weight with the proper diet and exercise, there is no way to turn you into an actual carbon-based life form.

Well, I could do what you think is normal, but I really don’t feel right digging up cemetaries at all hours of the night.

Yes, I’m a record rep. I have also been a booking agent, music journalist, band manager, and I worked in retail on both sides of the fence. And your point would be what, exactly?

Look… Having your mom tag-teamed by both Brett Michaels and Tommy Lee in a video does not mean you are in the music industry, it means people in the music industry were in your mom!

I took a dump last night. That turd had more talent than you will ever know.

Oh please… Have you seen our roster? What real talent?!?

As there are no doubt several websites you like to think you are “fucking” in your favorites folder, really, it’s just masturbation, pal. Kinda like your post.

You “have sickened?” Maybe my knowledge of grammar (and possibly the intimate knowledge of your grandma, but I digress) might have something to do with it?

Ah, so insult people who invoke me in their sigs. Well, I have made a few friends here. Which is also more than you can say.

I never noticed. And since subtlety does not seem to be your strong point, I’d have to say you did a lousy job of it. And since I barely even noticed YOU in general, as I said earlier, I would say that you really need to work on this communication thing. Lessons from your aforementioned canine friend seem to be in order.

I do not wriggle. And once you get that Viagra perscription filled, maybe you won’t either.

I have proven myself. If people like me, that’s great. If not, I lose no sleep over it. And trust me, Gabby, I won’t lose any sleep over what you think of me.

Well, actually, I don’t post very much here. Unlike you, I can debate in GD, and answer (and ask) a General Question. I can’t recall a flame war that I’ve really had. And after this, I still can’t.

No. It’s not.

You would love for ANYONE to suck your left nut, wouldn’t you.

And I suggest you clean them. And use a Kleenex next time you jerk off - it will help the odor. And I suggest bleach for the shit stains.

Not fun. Sad.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=“1” face=“Verdana, Arial”>quote:</fon

16

Now that the object of the ‘falme’ has weighed in, I feel comfortable posting this.

How 'bout the great Mayo Vs. Miracle Whip debate?

Here’s mud in yer eye,
UncleBeer

17

Watch out, Satan. Gabriel sounds like an obsessive cyber-stalker. I haven’t seen anybody so hung up about a poster as opposed to something he or she has posted.

Bitch by Birth

18

Drain! That was excellent. ::::applause:::: :slight_smile:

19

Now this is just silly, Lexicon. It’s essentially impossible to ignite jet fuel with a match, asinine Bruce Willis movies notwithstanding.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled troll vivisection.

-andros-

20

Hey, Wally and FuzzyWuzzy, got room for me here? The “Prose Roast” fizzled out, so I brought along the beer and munchies.

Anybody figured out exactly why Gab is attacking Satan, other than to get attention? For someone who didn’t have a grudge to start with, he sure took some cheap shots there. Looks to me like the putz is so desperate for attention he’s willing to sling muck any which way.

Here are the Olympic Flame Score Cards. I give Chris a solid 9.8. ::holds up card and tosses a beer to Wally::

Veb