Is it just me or does Satan and heatherlee have a major ass fetish going on? Now, since this is so mundane and pointless, let’s share the fun things we would like to insert into his anal cavity.
I have an old 1965 Buick Special that might fit there. Come on, folks, back me up: what would you like to shove up the Dark Lord’s Butt?
Be creative! Be deep! Be sick and twisted!
Best!
Byz
First, you’d have to pull out his head …
(Sorry, couldn’t resist 
)
The New York Yankees. And their Buicks.
Well, if I’m “backing you up” my mind isn’t on Satans ass.
Beyond that, I’d guess the toe of my boots the best I can think of. I think I’ll defer to SqrlCub on this one :D.
Temujin – I already covered that. He came back with the thought that he had already removed his own head and found mine there. I wondered why my smoke kept going out… you have to be more creative than that!
How about a Howitzer? I’ve felt that one was up my ass, maybe he would feel one up his too.
Best!
Byz
Al Gore & Dan Quayle.
Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Even though this was supposed to be in fun, it reeks of a personal attack to me. Sent to the pit.
Saint Eutychus
www.disneyshorts.org
You know what Byz? I thought you were intelligent and realized things. I guess not…
That post turned into a lot of things. Among them:
An open-minded discussion about how a person would feel if their loving partner wanted to do something sexually that the other person did not.
How others who DID do things more for their partners benefit feel afterward.
It peripherally discussed how some guys would see this as “homosexual behavior,” and a conversation came out of that.
The parameters of a relationship OUTSIDE of the bedroom, and issues of trust.
Humor. It was funny. People laughed.
So forgive me for putting some personality behind issues like this. Forgive me for letting some people think less of me while it opened up a dialogue for others. I’ll bet my quandry made other people THINK.
But all you could think about was my ass.
And you wondered why I said YOU were up there…
Yer pal,
Satan
In the spirit of JillGat, would you guys put a link to the original posting – I don’t have an ass fetish (I don’t think ::hey, coworker, touch my ass:: hmmm, nothing. I guess I don’t), but (haha) I would like to know what you’re talking about.
Sate – I used to live in zay-boo-lon
Just remember, you asked.
http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001966.html
Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Oh, man. I feel like shit! This really was supposed to be a total joke. I didn’t mean to slight you. That’s why I opened this in MPSIMS. I didn’t want this in the pit. I like you. I thought you knew that. I like to joke around with you. I thought you knew that too.
That thread got a lot of people to talk about a sexual issue that usually isn’t discussed. I’m glad you posted it. My post was just a joke. A “hey, what’s the wildest thing you can think of” kind of a deal. I really didn’t mean to piss you or anyone else off. I’m not trying to take away from the honest discussion in that thread. I thought I was being funny and it blew up in my face.
In the future, I’ll write you first before I try to make a joke at your expense. I really didn’t think you were going to take this seriously. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Ever.
Well, now that Byz has gotten THAT off her chest, back to the fun!
A full set of aluminum-and-acrylic PATIO FURNITURE!
Uke
Oh, I’m sorry too, Byzantine. I didn’t mean to slight you… It just seems that you have been preoccupied by my ass lately, and that is a bit… unsettling.
On top of that, I really think I offer more to this board than fidder such as this, and I really hate the thought of being stereotyped as someone who can only be a funny guy all the time.
I’d hug ya… But I’m worried that you’ll grab my ass!
Thank you, Unka Beer!!
Nasty!! Yuck!! 
I was warned, though
Hey, I hope my post wasn’t out of line (last entry on the MPSIMS thread you started on this general subject).
It was just that I was thinking over what had been posted, and that song started playing on the radio, and I cracked up! 
=============
Uh, if you did suffer some hurt feelings, you know what you can do with them!!
OooooH! Ooooooh! I know!
How about a pinwheel?
Or a sparkler?
Or, maybe a bubble-wand, so when he farts, istead of it being gross, it’d be, like “Oooooo…purty bubbles”.
< looks around…hangs head > Sorry…I’ve been at work for 12 hours today…
How about a bottle rocket?
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Satan wrote:
Well, not if it’s a really cute ass.
Incidentally, this thread reminds me of an Eddy Murphy song (!) I heard on Dr. Demento a decade or so ago, titled “Boogie in Your Butt”. The lyrics went along the lines of:
<BLOCKQUOTE>Put a tree in your butt,
Put a bumble bee in your butt,
Put a tin can in your butt,
Put a little man in your butt …</BLOCKQUOTE>
How’s about we light the Washington Monument on fire and shove it up there?
A hungry badger?
A running rototiller?
That vehicle that “Shredder” used to have that could tunnel through the earth? (c’mon, Ninja Turtle fans, you know what I’m talking about!)
The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group.
Myndephuquer:
Zebulon, eh? I used to work there… I lived in Wendell for a while as well.
You’ll be the only person here who gets this joke then:
There was a club in Zebulon called Led Zebulon. One day, in a moment of drunken lucidity, it came to me that the house song should be “Wendell Levy Breaks.”
:: rimshot ::