Ok, some background…
My GF and I have been proud parents for just over 4 weeks now
in about two weeks time she goes back to the gynae, who, hopefully, will inform us it is safe to resume, uhm, personal knowledge of each other
My question is twofold
1)Ladies (and any guys that know too): what are some ways to make sure she enjoys this, not really post-pregnancy sex, but regular, not so boring intercourse. Thats right, a guy is asking for advice on how to make it better, and I know that ALL sexually active women have at least one thing they wish guys knew, did/did not do. We both are trying to make it better for each other, so can’t seem to tell each other what to do to make it better for ourselves (Did that make sense?) What about cunni? (Is that actually illegal in some place in the U.S? if yes, then ignore this part of the question)
2)Guys: Ways of making it better/last longer for us?
Hmmm. Well, everyone is different but you might want to put the cunni off until the bleeding and/or discharge is completely over.
Six weeks sounds about right. I’m sure she’ll advise you on that matter.
Other than that, her comfort level will depend on different things. For example: Did she have a vaginal birth? If so, were there stitches and is that completely healed?
Is she even interested in having sex yet? Sometimes a new mom is so tired, hormonal and cranky, it’s just hard to get into it.
It might be best to play it by ear. Talk to her, find out what she wants. Be prepared to wait a bit longer if need be. Many men avidly look forward to the resumption of relations only to be gobsmacked to find out that the woman doesn’t quite feel the same way about it. IOW, it’s not about your needs so much anymore, I’m afraid.
However your GF could be completely different, it happens.
she is looking forward to it just as much as i am… she actually asked me to take that day off work!!!
Me, I don’t mind waiting (almost type mating, oops… on my mind) until she is ready… and she cant stand wainting for the checkup…
my OP wasn’t properly clear on the fact that its not a matter when it starts… i just want to be able to please her better than before, be that in two weeks time, or 2 years time (oh, just the thought makes me shudder )
The fact that she has just had a baby shouldn’t actually be taken into consideration, i’m looking for the long term improvement (unless a pregnancy and Ceasar [sp?] makes permanent changes to the, uh, equipment )
Sorry for the colloquisms [again sp?] but the variety makes it more fun to type.
I want ways to make her feel on cloud nine (as I already make dinner fairly often, help when she does the cooking, help clean, etc… this is the last place where i still need to pick up some advice - and I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels that way, am i? please, don’t let me be all alone - pretty please, some-one must feel the same)
Well she’s a very lucky lady then that you should be so concerned about her.
A C-section doesn’t make any permanent changes to the equipment that I’m aware of. I’ve had both types of deliveries and in my case, the vaginal birth was much more painful. Like getting hit with a baseball bat between the legs. I was ready for sex much sooner after the C-section than the vaginal birth, but as I said everyone is different.
Really, the best person to talk to is your GF. Especially in view of the fact that she’s an enthusiastic participant. Think of all the fun you can have experimenting and getting feedback from each other.
IMO, if you are both on the same wavelength in sexual matters, especially right after childbirth, then you two are fortunate to have found each other. Furthermore if you can discuss that and other things openly, patiently and take each other’s needs into account, then that bodes all kinds of good for the future of your little family.
Congratulations and good luck. Give the baby a snuffle on the back of the neck for me, would you?
My 2 cents on sex after a C section is beware of numb places. The area above the incision felt like it was novocained for quite some time and would freak me out when he would run his hand over it. Made for some awkward post munchkin sex. This spot is now about the size of a quarter and not so sensitive but ugh those first months sucked (baby now 21 months)
My 2 cents on better sex in general? Practice and communicate. Make time for sex and be patient about it. Don’t focus so much on performance but on mutual enjoyment.
Also sex fills different needs at different times. Sometimes I want sex purely for the carnal aspect and other times for the emotional bond we have… sometimes both play a role… Sometimes I’m just looking to make him happy… If you’re both happy and communicative of your needs then sex should never be boring.
I will say thay you have already mastered a major part of making sex better… it is much easier to relax and be receptive when you don’t have to worry about the housework
)