“Inappropriate comments”? Umm, which side of this do you want to be on again?
CMC fnord!
We guys don’t get that bombardment.
For us guys, such comments aren’t piling on top of a pre-existing bombardment. So that shit bothers us a good deal less.
Any questions? :rolleyes:
I don’t think “Someone making threats to harm you” is covered under the traditional definitions of sexual harassment.
No, unless for some reason you feel the need to say something out loud about their appearance.
Kimstu: I agree with those who say you are doing a great job here. I don’t have anything to add to what you’ve already said.
Let’s try this again:
There is a time an place for most things. Many women spend countless time and money to make themselves look “hot”. It is fine to compliment a grown woman in that way but it is not OK for a grown man to say something like that to a 16 year old. I will often tell them they look pretty because they do but context is everything.
No, no questions. Thanks for letting me know how bothered I am about that shit though. I appreciate it 
Really? Could you explain that to the, at this point mostly, guys that ain’t gettin’ it?
CMC fnord!
There’s nothing in the least wrong with that. But contrary to what you may believe, you are not required to be constantly telling people about your opinions of random chicks’ hotness in any and all circumstances in order to prove your manhood.
(And thanks for the kind words, various fellow posters: it is very nice of you.)
But we can continue to tell people our opinions of other aspects of a woman in any and all circumstances though, right? As long as we don’t mention hotness?
I’m not authorized to speak on behalf of women, but I think you’re missing the point.
Let’s use an analogy. Suppose you expressed an interesting thought, and people responded to it not in a way that acknowledged any part of what you had said, but which instead focused on who they thought you were, and that they made lewd or even semi-complimentary (for that matter) comments about you but ignored the content of what you said. Suppose they did that a whole lot. Suppose they did that not only to you but to everyone who shared a categorical characteristic with you. Like let’s say you had little horns, a shock of vertically-oriented hair, and a bulbous nose, and that on that basis of that appearance you were classified along with other folks of similar appearance and given a descriptive term. Something somewhat akin to “Hot Chick” although not quite that.
It wouldn’t take long before you resented it, right?
Why would you think that? Do you honestly believe that no kinds of comments about another person except sexualizing comments can ever be inappropriate?
In this thread we’ve been focusing specifically on inappropriate comments about appearance and hotness, because that’s the particular form of inappropriate behavior that some posters seem to be having trouble understanding.
But if we have to go all the way back to kindergarten level of explaining that there are many different types of comments about another person that can be inappropriate, depending on the situation… then Lordy, we’re going to be here quite a while. :rolleyes:
Surely you’re not suggesting a level of decorum that calls back to days gone past?
Surely you’re not suggesting a level of decorum that one might expect when talking about one’s own daughters or sisters?
CMC fnord!
Ain’t enough rolleyes.
The CDC includes threats of harm via rape or spreading sexual rumours here. I agree that as quoted in the report that item doesn’t explicitly mention a sexual element. However, given that the survey was prefaced by a lengthy statement of the subject matter, and that the rest of the items were explicit about the sexual element, I doubt the respondents failed to put it in context.
Even if they did and we felt compelled to strike it out of the data, it would have a negligible effect on the findings. At worst, the 81% lifetime experience of harassment assault would become 77%. So… I guess there’s no problem?
Sure, but only the “hotness” seems to be described as misogynistic. What about comments about intelligence? Would that be misogynistic as well, or just jerkish?
Please don’t assume conclusions that I have in no way advocated.
Some of those things I’ve never seen defined as “sexual harassment”. That was one of them. Calling someone a “fag” or “dyke” is another thing I’ve never seen described as sexual harassment. Nor “misgendering” a person, or texting someone in “a harassing way”
In any event, I appreciate the link, and this isn’t the thread to discuss the study. But thanks for linking it.
Context.
Context IS everything, but the point is that even with grown women, if you don’t know them, or know them only as colleagues at work, or just acquaintances, very few contexts allow for even polite compliments on their looks.
Obviously if you’re involved with someone or have a sufficiently comfortable friendship for such things, there are a lot more contexts were compliments on their looks are acceptable or even desirable. But we’re talking about a pretty limited number of people here.