I don’t think it would have been rude and inappropriate for you to have jerked away from him and said, “Excuse me, but that is rude and inappropriate behavior and you are giving Christianity a bad name. Don’t EVER touch me like that again!” We’re all too polite sometimes.
This incident reminds me of advice I once heard about how to combat sexual harassment in the work place. A woman was complaining that a coworker was constantly invading her personal space and touching her, and she felt powerless to stop him. She related that he had even put his hand on her knee while sitting next to her at a conference table in a meeting with about 15 other people, and how she just froze and didn’t know how to stop him without causing embarassment. She was advised to not be such a wimp, especially when there are potential witnesses…the next time he tried that during a meeting, she should jump up, startled, and say something like, "what are you doing?’, glare at him and sit back down in a dignified huff. This will alert everyone in the room to the problem without accusing him, and if he confronts her later, she should say, in a voice that people in the next cubicle can hear, “i’m sorry, but you startled me…and in the future, keep your hands off me!”
End of hijack.
I like that suggestion Kittenblue; in a non-work situation, it would be fun to jump theatrically then madly scream AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH (pause) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (pause) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH (repeat) - if you’ve seen Lee Evans in Mousehunt, you’ll know what I mean.
The best part is that when people get turned off by Christianity, they blame it on the person for being a heathen. Try this one for fun:
“Are you aware of the sin of scandal? It’s when your actions lead someone else astray. It’s like putting a bottle of liquor in front of a recovering alcoholic. Or when you harass someone about Christianity to the point where they utterly reject your faith.”
If they ask where scandal is in the Bible, point over their shoulder and say “Look, it’s the Second Coming!” Then run.
I really like kittenblue’s suggestion. I hope to try it some day.
In the guy’s defense (and believe me, I am as anti-religion as they come, no offense to any religious people out there), I’m guessing the boyfriend is rather new to this religious stuff. He’ll calm down, I’m sure, but it doesn’t stop him from being a big pain in the ass now.
Do what I’ve seen lots of funies do when they are laid hands on in church.
Fall to the floor and start “holy laughing”.
Or even pretend tongues.
They’ll love it!
A similar thing happened to me once. I was trying to buy a used dryer and went to an appliance store where the salesman asked me if I had “dedicated my life to the love of the lord, Jesus Christ”.
Needless to say, I bought the dryer elsewhere. Can she exchange her boyfriend?
I was here in the library 9they know me) getting my print outs and I forgot exactly what I said to this librarian.
Something about God.
And she said, “Oh course he exists! its obvious to all!”
She didn’t know any of my thoughts on religion (I am a christian) but what if I wasn’t?
I would’ve been offended.
i mean, she’s supposed to help the patrons with stuff, not offer those kinds of opinions!
3333
Chekmate,
Very interesting story! Though I can think of many fun things ‘to do’ in that situation…I probably would have humored him being that I’m a wimp.
I’ve had tons and tons of interesting experiences with Christians… Most of them involve my friends parents (father a preacher, mother insane). My friend’s a 25 year old woman living far, far away from home, and yet this mother calls every night. It’s especially fun when her mother calls Saturday nights at about 11:00 p.m. just to make sure her daughters not out having a good time. If she gets one of the friends she likes on the phone she’ll ask them if they’re taking care of her daughter, if they’re helping her eat right, if they’ve made sure she’s gone to church, etc…
If she gets me on the phone it’s usually a different story. She started by grilling me on my religion. I gushed happily about learning and praying and then it delved into…
Her: “Yes, but what about fellowship.”
Me: “Well as I have said, your daughter and I are having Bible studies together and really have been finding out so much about his love and forgiveness.”
Her: “Yes, but you need to go to the right kind of church.”
Me: “Umm…I’m not really against going to church, but many times I feel the message is superficial.”
Her: “Yes, but if you go to a good Lutheran church you will be a much better influence on Bethany.”
Me: “Umm…so I don’t go to a Lutheran church and this makes me a bad friend?”
Her: “Yes… I don’t want people around her who aren’t leading her on the right path.”
I sputtered for awhile and she continued on the path of me being a bad friend and a bad Christian…until I snapped and said:
Me: “You’re judgements are against all that Jesus stood for.” click
Anyway, I’ve for some reason stopped reading my Bible and am still a really bad influence on her daughter. Why just last week we had a Buffy marathon and drank wine. You know how Buffy’s evil, right?
I run into these sorts of situations all the time - I used to work with a girl who, every time she saw me because I was usually deep in thought, said, “Smile, SisterC, Jesus Loves You!” In the brightest and most chipper voice you can imagine.
I was still pretty badly afflicted with cross-cringe at the time, but it may have just been her tone of voice that made me want to say, “yeah, but he’s busy tonight” or something like that…
These days, when someone does something like your librarian to me, I either roll my eyes and keep doing what I’m doing, or (if someone says, “God bless you” or whatever) I say “Thanks” and move on.
No blood, no foul, I guess.
Guy laying his hands on me without warning might want to be wearing a cup, however.
I’ve discovered that the simplest/best way to get fundies off your back is to be more psycho than they are. If they grab your arms, start caressing their back. Or simply place your face an inch from theirs and begin breathing heavily. Or stare at their throat and lick your lips.
She started by grilling me on my religion. I gushed happily about learning and praying and then it delved into…