I think Jesus could swing that though.
Yeah, but this is GOD’S toilet!
“Hello? Patent Office?”
Yeah, and why the hell not?
Well, he’s not losing his touch entirely. Some kid is going to have nightsweats for a week this November (upon recieving this tract from a fundy on Halloween), thanks to the burning arsonist and maybe the graphic depiction of Lazarus.
I’m all for toilet-armrests.
Anyway, serves that bloody fireman right for breakdancing on the roof of a burning building when he should have been putting out the fire.
Personally, I think that Bob looks a lot like Robert A. Heinlein (though if he were still living, he’d no doubt kick my ass and Chick’s for making such a comparison). Chick definately isn’t cranking 'em (Get it? “Cranking?”) out like he used to. I like how one of the folks in the crowd says, “Do you think it was arson?” The squirrels were great, though. I kept imagining the squirrel climbing the tree and looking at the squirrel on the ground and asking, “Do these nuts make my ass look fat?” 
Please.
DNA testing has conclusively shown that Bob is the long-lost cousin of Freddie Mercury.
It’s sort of like the relationship between Jimmy Swaggart and Jerry Lee Lewis.
Yeah, Bob has shown up in quite a few, but lately he’s been in all of them.
Let’s see, rules of a Chick tract:
-
Chick’s god is a vicious, mean-spirited demon god whose only real requirement is that he is worshipped and feared. It doesn’t matter if you’ve led as near a sinless life as is humanly possible; if you don’t believe, to The Fiery Pits of Hell[sup]tm[/sup] for you.
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No one has ever heard of Christianity or Jesus until Bob or one of his minions shows up.
-
Lots of people die after Bob shows up. No charges have been filed.
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The unrepentant get thrown into The Fiery Pits of Hell[sup]tm[/sup]. Every time. God has no imagination apparently.
-
According to Caught!, God owns His own porn business and uses angels to take care of the recording side of things.
-
Catholics are bad and apparently non-Christian.
-
Facts have NO place in a Chick tract.
- The more lumpy a person’s face, the more likely that they are evil.
The cover looks great.
That oughta grab alot of folks in to read it.
Not too imaginative though. No “cults” to malign or anything.
So how many flaming deaths has this particular Bible sereis had?
Lets see there’s
A bus explosion
a car wreck
a collision with a Milk Truck
and the good old fashioned arson
Jack is in a rut.
Of course there are at least five comics where the lesson is learned in the hospital
I’m curious. Has anyone ever contacted Jack Chick and gotten a response?
I’m almost tempted to write a ASK JACK CHICK Thread
“Yeah?”
Is it just me or does Roger’s face seem to morph into a new person with every panel in that Caught tract?
Total aside here, but in http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0900/0900_01.asp I just LOVE the frame that is labelled “People find them irresistable!”
He’s getting more eeeevil!
I think this is a great idea. If you don’t want to do it , can I? (I will give you full credit for the idea)
I knew there was a reason that Jack named the Bringer of the Gospel “Bob”.
And I get to post this again…
The Chick Tract Rite of Exorcism
Everybody join hands and form a circle around the Recipient of the Chick Tract. Anybody have one of the “Straight Dope” books? No? Ok, any nonfiction book will do. Oh, you have last month’s Scientific American? That’ll do.
(the Chick Tract Exorcist holds the nonfiction book over the Recipient’s head, and intones, chants, even)
Do you, (Recipient) renounce Jack Chick and all his works?
Do you renounce hatred against Catholics, Muslims, Jews, Pagans, homosexuals and Christians who aren’t Fundamentalist enough?
Do you renounce all badly drawn comic-type books?
Do you promise that, when handed a Chick Tract, you will do your best to refute the lies contained therein?
Do you promise that, while the Giver of the Chick Tract is still within earshot, you will laugh hysterically and deposit the Chick Tract in the nearest garbage can, its natural home, or else give the it to a person strong in reason who collects Chick Tracts for their comedic value?
In the name of all that is True, or at least factually accurate, I command Jack Chick and all his minions to depart from this Child of Reasonable Intelligence, and to remove themselves to the more unpleasant regions of the Universe.
And all the people said,
Amen.