What’ll I have?
First woman on the bar gets a serious tongue-lashing!
Sorry - quick aside to Hamadryad. This was a way, way funny post. Thanks!
And tragic from my POV! Would it change your mind for a little while if I pointed out that my user name implies I’m a forest ranger? Ya know… I take care of trees?
No?
[sub]dammit[/sub]
Who said no?
I only said I wasn’t flirting any more.
And being an open-minded sort of lass, there’s nothing saying I’m not willing to be convinced.
But this isn’t flirting.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” If it works for a head of state, why can’t it work for me?
I’d duck and run, but that’s undignified.
<duck & saunter>
And what a very dignified [sub]sexy[/sub] and lovely saunter you have.
Thank heavens you’re not really flirting. Otherwise I’d be doing something all desperate and undignified trying to get in on the closet action.
Italian is good. You may THINK you don’t know ancient Greek, but wimmins have been known to speak in tongues with me!
::pulling over O2 tank and IV rack::
You may want to get a hit now, I may not want to stop for a while! I am a Marine, I eat challenges for breakfast.
That’s a Marine for ya. 
Hey! Where’d she go? 
I’m a saaaaaaaaaad panda.
walks over to give Tequila a long, deep kiss
Sorry I’m late, darling. It wasn’t for lack of desire… Because you certainly provide the desire.
Now I think I’ll mingle a little and see what fun I can drum up on my own. I see a few people I know, but they look a little busy at the moment… Maybe I’ll wait until they’re free, or see if someone else comes by to tickle my fancy…
I’m not busy! I’m not busy! This is just busywork I’m doing!
I’m also not overenthusiastic, am I?
So you wanna tickle my fancy? I’m sure that might keep you busy for a little while…
Hmm…
Kitchie-kitchie koooooo!
No? Ok…
[Strips down to nothing but boxers and flip-flops. Juggles six bowling balls, a copy of Atlas Shrugged, a Salad Shooter, and some M&Ms.]
How’s thissssss… whooooooooooooooooooppppppppppppppppsssss
[Falls. Kersplat. Eew.]
MEDIC!!!
Oh my! Let me see if I can make you feel better after that wonderful display…
TP sits on the floor next to dan and kisses every bruise she can find, her skirt inching up as she moves to each problem area
Is that better?
:wandering in to bleerily survey the damage:
Oh my that may leave a stain…ah, screw it…I didn’t like that rug anyway.
Can someone get a little something for my coffee to get me back into this controlled debauchery? I promise I’ll lose the bathrobe if ya do…
What would you like, m’dear? I have vodka, Southern Comfort, rum, or, if you’d rather stay sober for a LITTLE while longer, a whole selection of International Foods Creamers.
And, I brought some sushi, sitting over there. You can bring it back over here… I have the perfect table for you to eat it off of…
Don’t mind me. I’m still trying to convince Hamadryad to come into the closet.
Can’t remember the last time I had to convince someone to go into the closet…
Arden Ranger, I am still eagerly waiting to be convinced. C’mon, open invite.
I’m not IMPOSSIBLE, just DIFFICULT, fer cryin’ out loud.
Well, you missed a spot… right… riiiiiiight… oooooohhhhhhhhh ahhhhhh… yes. There. OOOoooh.
Better… no. NO don’t stop! nooooooo… ahhhhh … better again… oooo again, again! Don’t ever stop! There are many problem areas, and you must get them… ah… all…
Nice skirt! but you know, it’s not the skirt, but what’s inside that counts…
Turbo Dog, you lucky… lucky… DOG you!
Jesus, where are all the women like Tequila and why are they all married?
I propose we round up all the women like Tequila and start a commune… [sub]run by me[/sub]
Tequila, in the words of the immortal Scott Baio, Wow wow wow!