Drink whenever somebody asks about the three words that end in -gry.
Drink whenever somebody asks about felching or calls somebody (insert name of animal) felcher.
Drink whenever there’s a pit thread flaming a mod. Double shot if it includes the term nazi or jack booted thug.
Oh, and a dobule shot evreyteim sombodey complians abuot teh hampsters.
Drink if someone writes a post saying the same exact thing as a post before it (simulposts not included)
When someone demonstrates Gaudere’s Law.
Twice if someone demonstrates Gaudere’s Law while pointing out an instance of Gaudere’s Law.
Three times if it’s actually Gaudere.
Drink a shot for every time some member of the offenderati flames the OP because one of his “asides” makes him racist/sexist/ageist/speciesist, etc.-ist.
Preferably a flaming shot, like 151 or Sambuca.
Drink every time a thread is moved to another forum.
Drink every time a thread is locked.
Drink for every thread titled If (anything other than Lord of the Rings) had been written by somebody else
Drink every time somebody posts a provocative thread title for a perfectly innocent thread. Two drinks if the title contains the word “pussy” when the thread’s about a cat.
Drink whenever someone calls for a particular Doper to enter the thread (“I can’t wait to hear Eve weigh in on this new discovery about the Fatty Arbuckle-Virginia Rappe case”, Qadgop should be along shortly to relate some of his anecdotes about practicing medicine in prison", etc.).
Drink the entire bottle when a newbie asks
Are Cecil and Ed Zotti the same person?
Drink whenever someone uses a thread to turn conversation back to his own pet cause or issue:
Twice if the thread were only tangentially related to the pet cause or issue.
Three times if the thread were completely unrelated to the pet cause or issue.
And by the way, all this talk about drinking reminds me…