SDMB play

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Alright, we all participated in that neverending story thread, (I’m sure someone will post a link to it, 'cause I’m too damn lazy to)

Now, how bout’ a SDMB play? It should end eventually, with a real ending, but only after the plot has suffeciently revealed itself.

Now, I’ll start with what you always need to start a play:
cast of characters

Micheal Prit: Friendly, easy-going kind of guy.Enjoys puzzles
Jenny Hudson: Micheal’s fiance. Worried about wedding.
Wallace Brimstone: Large, not so intelligent type. Means well.
Mr. Hoffer: Micheal’s neighbor. Evil genius in disguise trying to take over the world.
Steve Boss: Micheal’s best friend. The only one who knows of Mr. Hoffer’s plot to take over the world.
Alright, you can add some more characters if you want, but try to keep it to a small amount.

(hmm…thinking this thread will not get off the ground)

2

Well, you’re right by the looks of things. :frowning: However, you may be interested in this thread, the SDMB Soap Opera, and this thread, the SDMB Sitcom. Very interesting stuff in either thread. :slight_smile:

3

Act I:

Scene I:

*Mr. Hoffer’s Parlour

enter Mr. Hoffer and Wallace*

Hoffer: well Wallace, did you get me the asparagus like I asked?

Wallace: Yes, sir, Mr. Hoffer. I got it right here in the bag. Where do you want it?

Hoffer: Just set it in the kitchen, Wallace.

Exit Wallace with bag of groceries.

Hoffer: [aside] Excellent. Now that that oaf has brought me the irradiated asparagus I ordered, my plans are nearly complete! Just one more day… and then…

Enter Wallace

Wallace: Ok, Mr Hoffer, I put it on the counter.

Hoffer: Wonderful. Thank you Wallace. [hands Wallace some money] I’ll see you again next week.

Wallace: You bet, Mr Hoffer. See you later. *[trips on the rug and falls out the door]

[Hoffer follows him, panicked]*

Hoffer: Wallace, are you all right?

[fade to black]

End Scene I

4

Maybe you should CAST the play - have Dopers play each role and reply in character…

5

Act I
Scene II

The billiard Parlor
Pit, Brimstone, Hoffer and Boss converse over drinks.

Enter Jenny, naked save for a string of pearls and high heels. She sits on the edge of the pool table, spreads her legs with her heels on the edge, lays back and turns her head toward the men:

Jenny: It’s been so long since I’ve taken care of four men at one time. ::sigh::
You guys wanna help a lady out?

…

6

and destroys everyone and everything in a bloody entanglement of actors, actresses, stage hands, and props.

miraculously the curtain survives, then drops.

play over.

Now that’s entertainment

If you get this started, i’d be glad to post. I could incorporate murder, lust, and greed into my post causing massive intrigue in my post. Dopers would come from far and wide just to read it. I would get a book deal and become the best-selling author of all-time. Maybe the play could be about my rapid rise to literary stardom, then my slow demise through indulgence in too many of the earth’s evils

alright, i’ll stop now.
I bid ye farewell, you dog-nosed wench.

7

Giant meteor was just a dream. Continue with the Jenny stuff…

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Act 1:

Scene 3:

The Local Hospital, Emergency room

Doctor: I’m afraid the prognosis is not good… Mr. Wallace may never walk again! Unless…

Exit Doctor, rubbing his chin in thought…

Hoffer: Unless WHAT?? Doctor…!

Exit Hoffer, following the Doctor

Wallace (now alone, and bandaged from head to toe): That bastard Hoffer! I hope he and his irradiated asparagus rot in hell as they so richly desrve! Wait until they meet Jenny… Ha… ah ha… ah hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahah cough hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahhahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahaha!

Crap! That hurt!

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good God what have I done?

10

flips through pages with a shocked look

“With a melon??”

11

Astro is intrigued, and wants to see where this might go… so bump! :smiley:

Act I

Scene IV:

The billiards parlor

*Pit, Brimstone, Hoffer and Boss lay about, gasping for breath and partially clothed…

Jenny stands over them wearing only the pearls, heels, and a mysterious smirk.

To the left of the stage lays a badly used and blushing watermellon.*

Jenny: Hoffer, don’t worry! I’ve heard that all men have that problem on occasion… nothing a little viagra won’t take care of! Pit, you were Wonderful! That right-hand twist makes all the difference! Brimstone and Boss… what can I say? I think you might like the real thing even better, but I promise not to tell anyone about your watermellon fetish…

Brimstone and Boss, in confused unison: We never! It’s the first time! Usually Muskmelons are more … (they fall silent, looking at each other in embarrassment)

Hoffer begins to weep silently

Pit (lighting a cigar): You wanna know a secret, Sugarbunns? I almost couldn’t get it up… the fourth time!

Jenny: Well, I’ve gotta go see about getting my Grandmother’s Porche vaccuumed… see ya guys!

Exit Jenny, twitching saucily, and quietly chuckling with an evil sound

The telephone rings, and Pit gets up, groaning, and walks gingerly over to answer it. He looks as if certain parts of his anatomy might be tender…

Pit: Hello? Who? What? When? I see… Where? Uh huh… uh huh… Dear God!! Why???

The others sit up and look curiously at Pit, who appears to have gotten the shock of his life!

Fade to black