The poll is approximative.
When I say “lukewarm”, I mean that you could take it or leave it or that you’re unenthusiastic about it or that you do it mainly to please your partner.
When I say “sex”, I mean stimulating someone’s genitals in an attempt to bring them to orgasm.
So, if you want to share, how do you feel during or after? Is this something that bothers you? Why do you do it?
I am often lukewarm. I just don’t have a high sex drive - my sisters and mom are the same. But, we have sex three times a week or so, way more if we’re trying to get pregnant, and we do have kinkier sex on occassion. I do it because I love my husband and want him to be happy. Sometimes I enjoy it during when I’ve initially been lukewarn, sometimes I put in extra efforts to try and wrap things up sooner for my benefit (going to sleep!). I never just lay there and hope he finishes soon.
This is a really charged question. Foreplay starts with picking up your socks, guys. Remember Gordon Sumner, aka Sting, talking about tantric sex for days? And later qualifying, saying it included getting a sitter, flowers, dinner, wine, romantic music, and the nitty gritty was about 20 minutes? I think there are times when everyone, regardless of type of equipment, or usual level of interest, has moments where they are lukewarm. There are SO many factors…it’s no wonder there are so many sex therapists…
It’s basically communication, and give/take. Understanding the wiring helps too.
In our house, I always make sure the wife gets off first. And if she’s too tired afterwards, that’s OK with me because she’s everything in my life, even after a decade of marriage. Maybe our situation is unique. She’s a good egg and I’m grateful, e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y. And I never forget it. I really love her…
Need answer whenever!
Should someone who knows Little_Pig let him know his wife has guessed his password.
wp
This is a really charged assertion. Is there also a list of hoops for women to jump through before their menfolk will allow them to get laid, or can they just take their partners’ interest for granted? :dubious:
My sex drive is nowhere near that of my husband. We gone from sex several times a day 6 days a week to one a day four days a week to a few times a weeks over the last almost 30 years. It’s not that I don’t like physical sex, I’m easily aroused by my husband, it’s that sex for me is more in my head than in my body.
One of our ‘fun problems’ is that I’m not good at taking the initiative.
My vote was for when I was still married. The marriage was falling apart, my husband was an abusive ass and I agreed to sex when he infrequently initiated it because it kept him from getting even nastier. I had no interest in having sex with him, partly because I have a very low sex drive (health issues), and mostly because he was a jerk. I never wanted to be one of those women who agree to sex the keep the peace, but there it is. I certainly understand them better having walked the mile in their shoes.
After I left him, I dated a bit and found myself in the position of being expected to have sex with men I scarcely knew. Um, no. Now, in my blessedly single and not dating state, I don’t have to have sex with anyone. For now, this is perfect for me.
My husband and I have an agreement that we can “use” each other once we’ve made that clear it’s an option for the night. This means that sexy time will pretty much be for one party’s benefit if they need it. It’s a good thing because sometimes we want to just have the perfect sex for ourselves without having to also do it for the other person to get off.
Unless we’ve agreed through the phrase “You can use me tonight if you want”, he always makes sure I get off first. Sexy times is in my head more than my body so if I let him work me up I’ll go from lukewarm to “YES!” almost always. So even if I’m lukewarm to the prospect I’ll almost always do things with him because I know it will turn into awesome.
The meaning of the poll in the OP is unclear.
Is it asking “what percentage of times that you have sex are you lukewarm about it?”, or is it asking “what percentage of times that you’re lukewarm about sex do you go along with it anyway?”
The answer to these two questions could be very different, and I suspect that confusion over the two possible meanings is skewing the results.