SECURITY ALERT - Squirrels on the Move

Then again, if Raytheon had you on it staff, we might have better boosters on shuttle rockets. The slingshot thingy has promise.

Quite possibly, but only if said boosters are manufactured by Thiokol. I firmly believe that my participation on any project is the kiss of death.

I almost got a job with Allied Signal once, but I think they asked around.

And I think your job may be more secure than mine, Bibliovore. When you’re dealing with engineers, muttered references to “armor-piercing housecats” buy you some strange looks.

They’re actually rather cute and entertaining. And it’s not really appeasing them. We have a treaty. They still view us as dominant and scatter whenever we come near.

Only four? You forgot the Forward-Advanced Needle Groups (FANGs).

It’s quite obvious that we need to dramtically increase funding for the Homeland Rodent Defense Fund. As we all know, the HRDF has suffered massive cuts in the wake of the horrible events of 10/24/02.

Petition your congressperson today and ask them to support HR559482278 - the Homeland Rodent Defense Fund Initiative. This is being supported by John Ashcroft AND Tom Ridge as well as a series of high-roller financiers from Nigeria.

Pass this bill. Then we can rest easy that a huge and bloated federal bureaucracy will be there when we need them to support our people when these kinds of dark and disturbing incidents happen.

God bless America.

**Exgineer[/B[, perhaps a re-working of the entire defense system is on order. I’m thinking a multiple launch system with smaller warheads. With a pair of the larger missiles, one of each type preferably, you can create several smaller missiles. Usually you can get 6 - 8 smaller projectiles with two of the larger ones.

Being smaller, they’re easier to handle and less cranky than the larger version.


A multiplex warhead!

Why the heck did I not think of this myself?

Well, sometimes it takes a pseudo engineer to come up with the stuff you real engineers create.

Another benifit is the ability to target multiple warheads at a wingle incoming assault bat. Care and feeding will be a bitch though.



Hilarious. Thank you, Welby, for brightening my day! And best of luck in any future battles against the Squirrely Menace…

Also, congrats on getting Threadspotted!

This line of investigation has promise.

A shotgun-effect launch would greatly increase hit probability against single targets, while introducing an as yet unrealized capability against multi-target formations.

I would need some way to ensure a proper dispersal pattern for the submunitions. Perhaps some sort of sabot?

Have you considered a deployment of the TREATS (Target Redirectioning Employing Aerial Tasties System?)

I’ve been developing a method similar to military infrared targeting. Maneuvering Pounce treats into critical range of your target results in destruction with unerring accuracy.

Exgineer, I was thinking along hte lines of a Patriot type system, but I think the Assault Bats are too manuverable. The shotgun idea sounds much better.

panache, how to deleiver the TRATS and the projectiles quickly enough? Assault Bats are wicked quick. The Projectiles might not have enough time between launch and acquisition to lock in on the target.

There would also probably be some misses to the the projectiles seeking out the TREATS instead of the actual target.

I’ve got to do some more thinking on this.

Thank Kn*ckers! :slight_smile:

Fortunate you were. Not everybody escapes a squirrel-hostage situation so easily…

What about POWs ? I suggest that any further POWs be sent to the Chicago READER (Research and Advanced Development in Energy-producing Rodents) project. Who knows ? They might end up replacing the present HAMSTER (Highly Advanced Mobile Server Transmission Energy-producing Rodents) system in use.

Surely, the assault bats are wicked quick, but are they slippery too? That’s the only way to evade the GLUED TREATS- (Gel-based Launchable Umbrella Evasion Deterrent) target lock technology.

It’s the very latest development in adhesive pounce treats- It evens the competition between the sly and devious attack bats and your ground-to-air feline contingent.

GLUED TREATS don’t always work do to the down draft created by the assault bats’ WINGS - Wind Infused Navigational Guidance System. The best use of GLUED TREATS is to launch them from a superior altitude. Do you have a loft you could station your TREAT deployment from? Perhaps a ceiling mounted sentry gun would be of use that automatically tracks and deploys the GLUED TREATS, thus intruders of all types will be targeted, not soley the assault bats.

This just in…

This chatter was overheard in my attic last night! The cats have all disappeared and the dogs aren’t talking. Be afraid.

And just how exactly am I supposed to build all this equipment out surgical tubing and a bucket?