Wassamatter, Exgineer, you need some duct tape too??
Yep, and a big hammer. I also need a second full sized projectile so I can start ramping up submunition production. I’ll also need to consider some sort of night vision equipment, like maybe a flashlight.
Got any egg rolls left? All this engineerin’ is making me hungry.
Sorry, I had the last 2 eggrolls for lunch today - really! If I’da knowed you wanted 'em, I’da saved 'em fer ya!
Thanks anyway.
Upon reflection, I have a correction to make:
I actually need two production-capable full sized projectiles to begin the submunition development phase. The unit I have in stock has been, well, modified, and is no longer suited to the purpose.
And a good bottle of Scotch. I really think I’m going to need a good bottle of Scotch.
Sounds like you need to read Sailor Jim’s story of the chickapult in alt.callahans:
http://groups.google.com/groups?q=chickapult&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&selm=3E29AC60.2CBA6ADA%40BellSouth.Net&rnum=1
Captain Welby,
I understand and sympathize with your shock at the fierce attack your fortress suffered at the hands of the vicious Guerilla Squirrels. Several years ago I lived in a home under constant threat of invasion. I lived at the bottom of an large 1890’s chimney that let the evildoers basically just Geronimo dive right into my (unfortunately decommissioned ) fireplace.
Luckily our homeland defense was seen to by a team of highly skilled Iranian attack cats. Their short noses and thick coats of luxuriant thick eminently mattable and hard to comb fur meant that they could messily dispose of the rodent intruders with much gusto and little risk due to the Armorific qualities of 15 pounds of luxuriant cat hair. They made those squirrels just disappear and left just the big bushy tail as evidence to prove their kill.
It may sound like I had it made, but you don’t know fear until you have your world shattered by the elite airborne squirrel regulars.
Measly towel and blanket tactics hold not water with those rodent red barons. True terror freezes the blood in your veins when you see that chittering ball of hair and teeth and claws come gliding Right at your Face!!! I cannot describe the complex logistics and Tactics needed
Some day…if the story is ever declassified, I’ll tell you about the pro squirrel Opossum adviser I captured in the process of infiltrating my occupied bed in the pre-dawn blackness preferred by spies and villains of all stripes.
Your brother in Ant-Rodential warfare,
Smegmum V
You are aware that the Squirrel Forces, vacuum cleaners and cats are the real ''Axis of Evil", aren’t you?
According to my Canine Defense unit (both interior and exterior), these guys have been in cahoots for years!
Well. This all explains the recent move to threat condition “orange” by our government. And here I thought it was about terrorist HUMANS!
Never be fooled particlewill, the squirrels are our most dangerous enemy. They live among us, insinuate themselves in our lives, biding thier time until the next strike.