** Help! My cat is wheezing!!
Two vicious pitbulls are coming towards me. What’s my best plan of action?**
Dang attack cats never work when they’re supposed to.
** Identify this Whatsit
Non-Euclidean Architecture
**
Like Heinlein’s tesseract "Crooked House’
** Is “Netflix and Chill” a euphemism for sex?
The Femmy Boy’s Guide to Flirting
**
**Do You Own Or Rent Council Flats In England?
Small things you notice when travelling abroad
**
Help me please -My willy does not work properly anymore - its been 5 years im 30 years old now
Should you care what other people think of you?
**Do you know all the words to the “Star-Spangled Banner”? (The USA national anthem)
Farscape, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica
**
That’s odd – those aren’t the lyrics I remember.
Must be the filksong version.
Are Vulcans Possible?
Young Sheldon gets a second season
Sheldon’s existence certainly suggests they are…
It may be time for Americans to consider splitting up the UNITED States of America
Selling a Timeshare
Yeah, I can see that might be wise if it ends up in a whole different country.
**Two vehicle search cases heard at Supreme Court today
I lost my house key **
Most people would call a locksmith, but you? You had to go make a federal case out of your search. Showoff!
** why didnt any Dinosaurs survive?
Non-Euclidean Architecture
**
“I didn’t want any of those saurischian pests in my house,’ Cthulhu explained in his almost incomprehensible tentacle-mouth enabled speech, 'I just can’t sleep knowing they’re in here. So I designed it on non-Euclidean principles that baffle their pea-sized brains.”
** Flu vaccine question
why didnt any Dinosaurs survive?
**
They should’ve checked the label more carefully. It’s clearly marked “not for use by saurischians or ornithschians”.
** Don’t leave your unlocked car running and then wonder why it gets stolen
I lost my house key
**
Did you leave your house running? It might not be there when you get back.
(Apologies to Steven Wright, who has a great routine about all that)
** I’ve Got a Year to do a Marathon, Any Personal Training Tips?
Two vicious pitbulls are coming towards me. What’s my best plan of action?**
Forget the slow training run, work on sprinting instead.
** Use of the term ‘opinionated’
Post your unpopular opinions
**
Now, you see there? THAT’S Opinionated!
**Three hours of freezing rain followed by cold snap - the city is a skating rink.
I lost my house key
**
Now THERE’S an Unfortunate Series of Events
** The Earth warps the space around it but…
why didnt any Dinosaurs survive?**
The warp wasn’t strong enough to prevent asteroids.
Are Democrats a big tent party? Should they be?
Joe Arpaio is running for US Senate seat.
I don’t think they should be quite that big a tent…
chacoguy has passed
Human bones found in back yard
** The Femmy Boy’s Guide to Flirting
Two vicious pitbulls are coming towards me. What’s my best plan of action?**
Flattery. “You’re a cute widdle pit bull! Yes you are!”
** What is the correct version of events in the Rosa Parks story?
US Military executioners**
The TRUTH IS OUT THERE, SHEEPLE!
Airliner cockpit setup
So what do I do with these savings bonds?
Just let 'em dangle. But I’d go with the fuzzy dice instead.