** Who’s ridden a unicycle?
A chicken’s gotta do what a chicken’s gotta do!
**
** Friend Getting Married. I’m A Groomsman Questions?
Dumb Gun Question
**
**Tracy Morgan in critical condition after an accident
So, Rap is on life support? **
**I invented something that’s already invented
The Owl Whisperer.
**
Yes! It’s the Ronco K-tel Owl Whisperer! How many times have you wanted to talk to nocturnal birds without disturbing your sleeping spouse? With the Ronco K-tel Owl Whisperer, it’s easy! Just open it up, put the patented mouthpiece to your lips, and stick the end out the window. You’ll be whispering to owls in no time!
Call now, and get the Frog Croaker absolutely FREE. So you don’t forget, order before midnight tonight!
**How do ghosts follow people home?
I’m irrational over free shipping **
Hey, I’m with you. I got two demons and a poltergeist in my latest shipment from Amazon.
** How not to get a job with me
my shape is like Winged Victory of Samothrace**
Sorry, I just don’t think you’ll fit in at this Dairy Queen.
Arizona in the year 1890
Wi-fi Router question
I didn’t realize they had wi-fi telegraph routers.
** My Husband doesn’t need to see your boobs!
Her name is Zippy.**
Ah, the sensuous Zippy. I knew her well. :smack:
Pink slime is making a comeback. Good or bad or indifferent news?
White Americans with Native blood
Yikes, that is seriously the worst slur (that doesn’t actually exist) that I’ve ever heard. Yeah, way to go there, offensive sequential threads.
**Any songs turn you on?
Absolutely badass old poems
**
**Where were you in the year 1999?
Brain-dead at the beach **
** How do ghosts follow people home?
Choppers
**
Welll, if they’re Biker ghosts…
…or maybe dead helicopter pilots.
Being bullied by an attorney
Commonly Misunderstood/Misused Words or Phrases
Maybe bullied is used in the British sense, like in, “Bully for you.” ?
And kind of related:
People who insist on mispronouncing words
Some of my neighbors have decided that I am a lesbian.
Thespian. They saw you taking acting classes and started calling you a thespian.
There was a lot of partying that year, as I remember.
Meanwhile.
** Man gets stuck in vagina, Firefighters called.
Who has gone without sex the longest and the shortest amount of time (at the time of your reply)**
Um, I think I’m willing to go without just a little longer…
** Ineffective Assistance of Counsel in US law, its scope.
Eating vast quantities of meat?**
“I’m appealing my conviction because my lawyer kept eating triple cheeseburgers and couldn’t read his notes because of all the grease. Besides, there were vegetarians on the jury.”
**Describe your God
Pink slime is making a comeback. Good or bad or indifferent news? **
All hail Viggo the Carpathian!
**What kind of diet will result in the least amount of feces?
Eating vast quantities of meat? **
You let WHO back into your life?
Motherf-ing Spiders! (Probably TMI)
What can I do, what can I be?
When I’m in your web I’ve gotta stay there
I guess it’s true I’ll never leave
You’ll bite me and I’ll be devoured there
Ooo, then I suddenly see you
Ooo, I was meant to feed you
On this final day of my life
Anyone in central Florida want a cat?
Her name is Zippy.
**“Massage” Parlors
Give a firm handshake.
**
If you know what I mean.