** Games you should not play with children
Lookalike Retail Chains (why?)**
Because taking your kid to AutoZone and telling him that the used motor oil is a Dairy Queen Chocolate Blizzard is just…mean.
**Games you should not play with children
Were you subject to spankings/beatings as a child? **
I don’t like this game, daddy!
** My cat has diabetes and it’s all my fault
My husband is in the hospital, too. Yay!**
Got any plans for the children?
In an idealized Big Brother world…
Utopia
**Were you subject to spankings/beatings as a child?
Oh how the times are changing. Corporal punishment. **
Could there be four sadder words?
my new kitten was killed by my dogs today
Scores high for pathos but regrettably disqualified for having too many words.
** Are nice people the world’s biggest problem ?
Need new name for ISIS / ISIL quickly **
We are NISIS. Our motto: “Off with your head! But nicely.”
So, when are you supposed to start feeling “grown up”
Things they don’t tell you about getting old
What’s Mindfulness in laymans terms?
Fuck you, anxiety.
Source: The Tao of Mamet
**Things they don’t tell you about getting old:
Weird facial muscle contraction
**
** Batman interrogation scene (The Dark Knight)
Tuna Melt.**
“Still won’t talk, huh? Alright, bring out the leftover meatloaf.” “Aieeeeee!!!”
** Guy Ritchie plans a six-film Arthurian cycle
In an idealized Big Brother world…
**
Let’s look in on Launcelot and Mordred…
**Is this a joke?
Ask George W. Bush a question or kick him in the nuts **
I think Dubya is the biggest joke of all.
**Ask George W. Bush a question or kick him in the nuts
Even Jeopardy is resorting to cheap gimics! **
I’ll take nut cracking for $800!
** Reheating pizza?
Mundane aspects of Superman’s powers **
Good old heat vision
**Best No True Scotsman
Could there be four sadder words? **
Could there be four sadder words?
How to talk like a French chef
J’ai brûlé le fromage!!!
Could there be four sadder words?
Well, he left me
Northern Dopers, have you turned your heat on yet?
We’re gittin’ married
The heat’s been on for some time I take it.
So, when are you supposed to start feeling “grown up”
Wasn’t it a dick move by the judge to ask this leading question?